Game 163, Part IV: Unheralded Heroes

The 10th inning of Game 163, as recounted in Part III, was one for the ages.  Each team had scored a run in exciting fashion.  Each team had players in the bottom third of their lineups come through with RBI base hits.  By all rights Nick Punto's liner to left should have ended the game, but the resulting double play was nothing short of miraculous.  Even after the first few pitches of the eleventh inning had been thrown, the crowd was still buzzing with disbelief and astonishment.

Perhaps the baseball gods sensed that we needed a time out before things got ginned up again, so they brought us the 11th inning.  The 11th was everything the 10th was not.  Both sides went three up and three down.  That is not to say the managers put their feet up and relaxed.  Twins skipper Ron Gardenhire used three different pitchers to face the three Detroit batters.  If there's anything Gardy loved when his team was in the field it was lefty versus lefty and righty versus righty.  After witnessing the 10th inning double play, Tigers manager Jim Leyland must have felt his team was destined to win at some point.  He was sticking with his closer, Fernando Rodney, even though Fernando by this time had thrown almost twice as many pitches (27) as what he'd typically throw on a short relief outing.

Despite its brevity there were a couple of noteworthy moments in the Twins' half of the 11th.  Denard Span hit a soft liner to centerfield to lead off the inning.  One would think centerfielder Curtis Granderson would have learned a "safety first" lesson after watching his teammate, left fielder Ryan Raburn, misplay Michael Cuddyer's leadoff single into a triple to start the 10th.  But no.  Granderson slid feet-first for Span’s sinking ball and...voila!  He came up with it.  Good for him because, had he missed a la Raburn, Leyland may have killed him on the grounds of justifiable homicide.

Orlando Cabrera followed Span by taking Rodney's first pitch for a strike.  It was another questionable call by home plate umpire Randy Marsh, as the ball was caught by catcher Gerald Laird only a few inches off the ground.  Cabrera took two steps back toward Marsh to argue, which of course was only asking for trouble.  Marsh pointed toward the batters' box as if to say, "You've got exactly one second to get back in there."  Cabrera complied but he was not pleased.  He fought off some tough pitches from Rodney but then got rung up by Marsh on another questionable call.  Once again the animated Columbian got into it with the man in blue, only this time Gardy came sprinting out of the dugout to pull his shortstop away before he got tossed.  This is pure conjecture on my part, but what might have made the difference enabling Cabrera to keep from getting ejected is that he was probably chirping at Marsh in Spanish.

***

Entering the 12th inning the Tigers had used five pitchers, one pinch hitter and two pinch runners, plus they had made a defensive replacement at a moment late in the game when they had a lead to protect.  The Twins going into the 12th had used one pinch hitter, one pinch runner, and like their opponent, had made one defensive replacement when they had a lead.  It is interesting to note that for each team, the player removed for a defensive replacement was one of their big boppers who had hit a home run in this game, Magglio Ordonez for the Tigers and Jason Kubel for the Twins, coincidentally both starting right fielders.  What their managers wouldn't give to be able to reinsert them now in this extra inning affair!

The biggest difference between the two managers was the manner in which they handled their pitching staffs. The Twins were on their eighth and final pitcher, Bobby Keppel, originally brought in by Gardy to get the last out in the Tigers’ half of the 11th.  Keppel needed only 4 pitches then to retire Placido Polanco, so Gardy had him start the 12th.  This, even though Keppel’s record this season was pretty dismal with a 4.96 E.R.A. and an opponents’ batting average of .300.  As for how Gardy's bullpen strategy differed from his counterpart's, you'll see when we get to the bottom of the 12th.

Keppel made short work of leadoff man Clete Thomas, Ordonez' defensive replacement who entered the game in the bottom of the 10th, getting him to hit a harmless liner to Carlos "Go Go" Gomez, Kubel's defensive replacement since the top of the 8th.  (Denard Span slid over from center field to right in the 8th, with Go Go taking over in center.)  Dangerous Miguel Cabrera coaxed Keppel for a seven pitch walk.  Don Kelly, who'd entered the game as a pinch runner in the 10th, made his first plate appearance as designated hitter, and this is where things got roiling again.  The weak-hitting Kelly, owner of a .236 batting average with 0 home runs to his credit, punched a Keppel fast ball into left center field.  Cabrera got a good read, correctly predicting left fielder Delmon Young would not be able to arrive at the ball before it hit the turf, so Cabrera easily reached third.  Young got to the ball on the first bounce but he was running back and to his left, meaning that, fighting inertia, he would have to do a 180 degree spin to throw the ball to an infielder.  The proper play, as any experienced outfielder would attest, was for Young to throw the ball into second base, because (i) that would force Kelly to stay at first, thus keeping the double play in order, and (ii) there was no chance whatsoever of throwing out Cabrera at third.  Instead, Delmon did throw into third to no avail, and Kelly scampered to second.  The Tigers now had two runners in scoring position with just one out.  At first Gardenhire tried to disguise his emotions, slightly shaking his head subtly in disbelief at his left fielder's bonehead play.  After a few seconds he could not contain himself any longer, as he could be seen pacing through the length of the dugout waving his cap in agitated fashion and expressing himself verbally to anyone within earshot.

Gardy smartly instructed Keppel to intentionally walk Ryan Raburn, thus loading the bases but also setting up a force at any base.  To this point Keppel had not walked anybody nor had he hit a batter, but doing either of those now would force in the go-ahead run.  Up stepped Brandon Inge, a money player who had stroked a double his last time up.  Another controversial call from home plate umpire Randy Marsh was on the way.

Benefitting the Twins was having Miguel Cabrera as the runner at third.  The big man was not fleet of foot, so the possibility of Leyland putting on a squeeze play was almost nil.  But in the Tigers' favor was this statistic from Inge's track record: In the previous seventeen times Inge had come to bat this season with the bases loaded, he had nine hits (for an eye-popping .529 average) including two grand slams.  This moment would have been excruciatingly tense even for a pitching staff's ace.  Imagine what it was like for Keppel, one of the low men on the food chain of the Twins' staff, whom Gardy had used this season mostly in middle innings and in blowouts.

Keppel's very first pitch to the right-handed Inge appeared to be a two-seam fastball that tailed inside an inch or two above the belt.  As Inge spun with his front shoulder starting to aim toward the catcher, the ball appeared to graze his shirt, which was tucked in but loosely fitting.  Inge immediately reacted as one would who had been hit by a pitch, but Marsh emphatically shook his head "no."  Leyland rushed out of the first base dugout to plead Inge's case.  I saw Leyland pointing toward third base umpire Gary Cederstrom, obviously in an attempt to get Marsh to ask his partner for help.  Also obvious was Marsh tapping his own chest a couple of times, signifying that the call was his, not Cederstrom's, to make.  I was surprised Leyland remained unruffled, at least outwardly.  I wonder what his disposition was when he saw the same televised replay I did that evening.  It showed that Inge probably, but not conclusively, was hit by Keppel's pitch.

The drama surrounding the Inge at bat was not over.  Catcher Joe Mauer saved a run by making a fabulous block on a fast ball which ricocheted off the dirt several feet wide of the plate.  After fouling off a 2-2 pitch, Inge knocked a fastball into the dirt directly in front of home.  The chopper was headed on a path very similar to Matt Tolbert's game-tying RBI single in the 10th.  But Inge's ball never made it out of the infield, thanks to quick-thinking second baseman Nick Punto.  The Twins infield had been at double play depth, hoping to turn a DP which would end the Tigers' threat.  When Punto saw how high Inge's ball was heading he did not lie back waiting for the ball to come to him.  Instead he charged the ball, and with his momentum carrying him toward the mound made a perfect throw off the wrong foot to Mauer to force out the sliding Miggy.  It was the Twins' defensive highlight of the evening for several reasons.  Punto had to decide immediately (and most likely correctly) that the ball was hit too slowly to allow for a 4-6-3 double play; the hustling Inge, even on bad wheels, would have had time to beat the relay throw from shortstop Orlando Cabrera.  And, getting the ball to Cabrera would have required Punto to throw in the opposite direction from where he was headed.  Punto also had to contend with second base umpire Jerry Layne and pitcher Keppel getting in his way.  Layne, anticipating a Punto throw to the shortstop, was starting to move toward second base.  Keppel also seemed surprised that Punto was throwing home; the 6' 5" pitcher was in the line of fire and had to duck to afford Punto a clear throwing lane.  Catcher Mauer also keenly observed that a 4-2-3 DP was out of the question, so he concentrated on getting the force-out by stretching his 6' 5" frame like a first baseman to secure the throw.  The force-out illustrated what can be done defensively with smart, heady ball players.

After the excitement of that bang bang play, it felt like the inning should be over.  The Twins fans were high-fiving all over the Metrodome, some offering toasts with whatever adult beverages they had snuck into the place.  The decibel level was off the charts.  But alas, there were only two outs and the bases were still loaded with Tigers.  Gerald Laird, a very fine catcher but a weak hitter, slowly made his way to the plate.  Laird had already batted three times today with a runner in scoring position.  In each instance he proceeded to make the final out of the inning.  The fourth time was not to be the charm.  Although he got into a 3-1 hitter's count, he ended up whiffing on a nasty, sinking, full count fastball.  Leyland may have felt destiny was on his side after the Raburn-to-Laird double play in the 10th, but it faded after Punto's stellar 12th inning play, and evaporated immediately thereafter with Laird's K.  They would prove to be the final two offensive outs of the Tigers' 2009 season.

***

By the time the Twins came to bat in the bottom of the 12th, Game 163 had been going on for four hours and thirty-two minutes.  How ironic that the endurance test came to a quick consummation with a five minute, four batter half-inning.

I thought I was seeing things when Leyland sent Rodney out to the mound to start the home half of the 12th.  The poor guy had already thrown 36 pitches since coming on in the 9th.  Sure, Rodney was a perfect 36 for 36 this season in save opportunities, but were the Tigers pressing their luck?  No one was warming up in the Tigers bullpen.  Was the manager worrying about tomorrow's game, resting his other pitchers to face the Yankees?  Jimmy, my man, to get to the Bronx you first have to win this game.  Rodney was a closer, not a long reliever!  The last time he pitched three innings was August of 2008, fourteen months ago.

Carlos "Go Go" Gomez led things off for the Twins.  Gomez was hitting only .226, but his excellent speed made him well-suited for this role, if only he could get on base.  Rodney was losing some velocity, causing him to resort to more off speed stuff.  Gomez drilled a changeup through the hole into left field, a hole made a little wider than usual by virtue of third baseman Inge having to play up on the infield grass to guard against a bunt.

The chatter among the baseball gurus in the stands was in full swing.  Most figured the Twins would try to get Go Go to second via one of two ways, either a Gomez steal or a sacrifice bunt by the next batter, Michael Cuddyer.  Neither tactic was used.  Gomez took a huge lead off first but he did not test Laird's cannon arm.  Instead of bunting, Cuddy grounded out to Inge along the line, 5-3, with Go Go taking second on the play.  Cuddy didn't get credit for a sacrifice, but he did manage to get Go Go into scoring position.

Leyland then had to decide whether to walk Delmon Young intentionally to set up a double play, or to pitch to the usually undisciplined hitter who was one for five in the game.  Leyland chose the former, not what I would have done given the fact that the on deck hitter, Alexi Casilla, was fast enough to beat out most DP attempts.

And now a word about Mr. Casilla.  To be fair, Gardenhire used him more as a utility player than someone who could be counted on to be an important part of the Twins' offensive arsenal.  In 256 plate appearances this season, the twenty-five year old had only 17 RBIs.  In mid-season there was a stretch of games in which Casilla had a chance to do something big, but he seldom rose to the occasion.  Gina and I attended one of those mid-season games in which Casilla struck out, leaving important runners stranded on base.  In one of my finer moments I opined to my daughter, "Casilla could not hit his way out of a paper bag."  I remembered those words of wisdom now as he strode to the plate.

Once again the Tigers' respect for Gomez' speed affected the infield's positioning.  Shorstop Everett and second baseman Polanco were "pinching" second base, i.e., playing closer to the bag to undermine Go Go's desire to take an aggressive lead.  Even though first baseman Miggy was not holding Young (whose potential run meant nothing) on the bag, the fact that Polanco was playing near the second base bag left a large hole on the right side of the infield for the lefty Casilla.  Such defensive strategy was a risk Leyland was willing to take partly because his left and right fielders, Raburn and Clete Thomas, had strong arms.  In other words, the Tigers hoped an outfield single would not necessarily score Go Go if he was not allowed to take a big lead off second.

In his career to date, Casilla was three for five (.600) against Rodney.  The kid looked unfazed as he glanced from the batter's box toward third base coach Scott Ullger for a sign.  If he saw the big gap on the right side of the infield, he did not let on.  Rodney's first two pitches, a ball and a strike, were changeups.  Maybe Rodney was incapable of throwing a fastball anymore due to arm fatigue.  Or, maybe the wily veteran was really trying to set the kid up for a fastball.  The set up didn't fool Casilla, who hit a 95 m.p.h. fastball through that right side hole.  The ball bounced at least seven times before Thomas could scoop it, while Gomez was flying around third.  Before Thomas' very high throw reached Laird's catcher's mitt, Go Go slid on his chest across the plate with the division-winning run. Final score: Twins 6, Tigers 5.

The ecstatic Twins ran full speed out of their dugout to mob Gomez, who had slammed his helmet to the ground with joy.  Somehow Mike Redmond, the thirty-eight year old reserve catcher who never got into the game, was the first to reach his teammate.  After almost bludgeoning Gomez with slaps and pats on the back and the head, the crazy mob turned to Casilla and repeated the assault.  The players were beside themselves with glee, as were the lucky fans who filled the Dome.  This is what walk-off victories are supposed to look like.  Conversely, the dejected Tigers, led by an exhausted Fernando Rodney, slowly retreated into the first base dugout.  Their season was over.

***

This was an epic game that had everything: extra base hits, superlative plays in the field, relatively solid pitching, some controversy regarding the perceived strike zone, and runners almost continually on the bases.  (In the game's twenty-four half-innings there was at least one baserunner in all but seven of them.)  If there were ever a game in any sport where the cliche "It's a shame one team had to lose" applied, this was The One.

Four things stand out in my memory.  First, I will always remember the Raburn-to-Laird double play in the bottom of the 10th and the Punto play in the top of the 12th.  Both incredible displays of athleticism in do-or-die moments.  Second, the constant stream of situations which compelled the two veteran managers, Gardenhire and Leyland, to make one decision after another: when to pinch hit, pinch run, bunt, steal, put in a defensive replacement, call on the bullpen, adjust the depth of the infielders, and maybe even offer words of encouragement from time to time.  The wheels were always turning.  In an interview a day or two later, Gardy said he and his counterpart met briefly and privately to congratulate each other on their respective team's efforts.  Third, redemption times two, both involving the 10th inning DP.  Raburn had made a horrible decision to attempt a diving catch on Cuddyer's leadoff triple.  But he redeemed himself after snagging Punto's liner with his throw to Laird to complete that inning with the 7-2 double play.  Casilla failed to tag properly at third base on the Punto liner, and as a consequence got thrown out at the plate.  His redemption came in the form of the game winning hit in the 12th.

The fourth item ties in to the sub-title of this Part IV: "Unheralded Heroes."  For the Tigers it was Brandon Inge, playing hurt yet temporarily saving the game with his amazing effort on Orlando Cabrera's rocket in the 9th, and whose double gave the Tigers a 5-4 lead in the 10th.  Not bad for a 7-hole hitter.  I also tip my hat to Fernando Rodney, whose manager kept asking for more.  (The lyric from U 2's song With Or Without You comes to mind: "You give it all but I want more.")

For the Twins I recognize two pairs of players.  Matt Tolbert and Nick Punto were the 8 and 9-hole hitters, but without their contributions -- Tolbert's dramatic game-tying RBI single in the 10th and Punto's multi-pitch at bats in the 7th and 9th plus his gutsy web gem in the 12th -- the Twins would have been in trouble.  (Also, let's not forget that if Casilla had tagged properly at third in the bottom of the 10th, Punto's liner to Raburn in left would have been a game-winning sac fly.)  The second pair is Carlos Gomez and Alexi Casilla, neither of whom were in the starting lineup.  But when their team needed them most in the final inning they did not disappoint.                    

Game 163, Part III: Risky Business & Second Chances

I remember watching the Twins' two victorious World Series epic battles against the Cardinals and the Braves in 1987 and 1991. Each of those series went the maximum seven games, with the home team prevailing in all fourteen games.  Everyone in "Twins Territory" was completely drained, living and dying with every pitch.  People would show up for work or school the next day looking almost like zombies.  We were so connected to our team that the games became the focal point of our days for long stretches.

When the Twins won their second World Championship in 1991, only four years removed from their first, a feeling of inevitability overtook many fans.  Now that the Twins had it figured out, we fans could reasonably anticipate more World Series appearances without having to wait more than a handful of years before each one.  Making it to the World Series on a semi-regular basis became a reasonable expectation.  Would one appearance every four years be too much to ask?  Okay, we’ll settle for once every six years.  (Spoiler alert: The Twins’ have not made it back to the World Series since 1991. “Minnesota Twice,” a popular cheer and apparel logo in the fall of 1991, has taken on a new meaning.)

We should have known better.  Despite many very good seasons during which the Twins fell short of qualifying for the Series, by the time the 2009 season arrived the fandom had become resigned to the fact that it might be awhile before the Twins would be good enough to return to the Fall Classic.  As if we needed a reminder, who could forget that just one year before, the Twins lost a Game 163 in Chicago to the White Sox?  The final score was 1-0, the only run coming on a home run by future Twin Jim Thome.  In early September of '09 when it appeared Detroit had the AL Central title locked up, resignation in Twins Territory was ripe.  Well, at least we had football to look forward to.  But on that October day of Game 163 against the Tigers, after the Twins' late bloom during the last three weeks of September, maybe this was finally going to be our year after all.

***

Joe Nathan, the Twins' incomparable closer, had to be used earlier than manager Ron Gardenhire had wanted, being called upon to get the last two outs of the 8th inning plus three more in the 9th.  Only a near-miraculous double play turned by the infield, coupled with a base running mistake by Tiger veteraan Curtis Granderson, had enabled Nathan to escape the 9th.  He had thrown only twenty-one pitches, yet Nathan looked gassed.  There was no way he could be used to start the 10th.  That responsibility fell to Jesse Crain.

The scouting report on Crain was that he was a hard thrower, with probably the highest velocity on the staff, but his ball did not move.  His two-seamer looked like his four-seamer.  The first man he had to face was the Tigers' cleanup slugger, Miguel Cabrera, who had doubled and homered in his first two at bats.  Cabrera went after Crain's first pitch and meekly grounded out to his namesake, shortstop Orlando Cabrera.  A good start for Crain, getting the leadoff man, but smiles turned to frowns when he hit pinch hitter Aubrey Huff with an 0-2 slider.  The home crowd's collective mood swung back up when Crain blew a 95 m.p.h. fastball by Ryan Raburn for the second out.  Brandon Inge, the 7-hole hitter whose praises I sang in Part II, stepped to the plate.

Crain got ahead of Inge 0-1, and followed it up with a slider that was clearly a strike but ruled a ball by home plate ump Randy Marsh.  Did this cause Crain to lose focus?  It sometimes happens to pitchers.  Inge drove the next pitch, a 96 m.p.h. belt high cookie, into the left field corner.  With two outs, pinch runner Don Kelly was off from first base with the crack of the bat.  Third base coach Gene Lamont, about to make possibly the biggest decision of the year, saw the bounding ball die against a billowy advertising banner tied to the wall, momentarily hindering the retrieval by left fielder Delmon Young who was anticipating a carom.  Lamont waved home Kelly, barely beating a strong relay by Orlando Cabrera.  Lamont's decision is what's known as a "good send."  Good for the Tigers; bad for the Twins, who were now down 5-4.  Crain got 8-hole hitter Gerald Laird to bounce out to end the inning.  The Twins found themselves staring in the face of elimination.  But one of the most memorable (albeit non-walkoff) half-innings in Twins history was about to begin.

***

To appreciate fully the drama which unfolded in the bottom of the 10th inning, we must go back to a lineup decision by Tigers manager Jim Leyland before the game.  For six of the eight non-pitching fielding positions, Leyland almost always penciled in the same players every game: Laird catching, Miguel Cabrera at first, Placido Polanco at second, Inge at third, Granderson in center and Magglio Ordonez in right.  At shortstop, Leyland usually favored Adam Everett over Ramon Santiago by a 2 to 1 margin, although he started the latter in Game 163 due to their respective stats against Twins starting pitcher Scott Baker.  The toughest decision for Leyland was whom to start in left field, Ryan Raburn or Marcus Thames, both right-handed batters.  The dimensions of the Metrodome were such that there was more ground to cover in left field than in right.  Raburn was four years younger and 35 pounds lighter than Thames.  The boss went with the younger man who, putting ages and physiques aside, was simply a better fielder.

As related in Part II, Tigers closer Fernando Rodney had snuffed a Twins rally in the ninth, getting the final two outs but almost surrendering a season-ending base hit by Orlando Cabrera.  In the process, Rodney had only needed to expend seven pitches, of which four were light tosses to his catcher while issuing Joe Mauer an intentional walk.  The first Twins batter to face Rodney in the 10th was 5-hole hitter Michael Cuddyer, who so far had not managed to hit the ball out of the infield.  The Tigers, clinging to a one-run lead and needing just three outs for the victory, were in a no-doubles defense, with the corner infielders and outfielders playing a little closer to the lines than normal.  The outfielders also played a few paces deeper.  If the Twins were to get a base hit, the Tigers wanted the batter to pull up at first base, i.e., not in scoring position at second.

Cuddy weakly flared a fly ball which was destined to land in between shortstop Everett and left fielder Raburn. Raburn had to run a relatively long way toward the infield, but as he approached the ball he should have realized that there was almost no way he was going to get to the sinking ball in time.  The safe and smart play -- the only play -- would be to concede the base hit, play the ball on the bounce and throw it into second base to hold Cuddyer at first (and to keep a double play in order).  Instead, much to the amazement and delight of the 54,000 screaming fans, Raburn dove for the ball and did not come very close to catching it.  Even worse, he could not block the ball from hopping away toward the outfield wall.  Centerfielder Granderson, probably as surprised as anyone about Raburn's ill-fated decision, had been sauntering over to back up his teammate, never expecting he'd be called into action.  Granderson now had to change course and run like mad to retrieve the ball which made its way to the wall while Cuddyer dashed around second.  Cuddyyer was "held" to, and credited with, a triple -- proving once again that there is much to a baseball game that can't be discerned by reviewing the box score.

It isn't often I feel sorry for an opponent, but as gleeful as I was to have Cuddy, the tying run, on third with nobody out, my heart went out to Raburn.  To their credit, the Tigers' brain trust in the dugout did not panic or give any hint of disorganization following this sudden turn of events.  Their first order of business was to play the infield in for the next batter, Delmon Young.  Delmon was the Twins' most unpredictable hitter, averaging roughly one strike out for every four at bats and yet sporting a solid .285 batting average.  Maybe being caught up in the moment caused him to swing impatiently at the first pitch, tapping out weakly to the shortstop.  Cuddyer remained at third, undoubtedly thankful the Twins did not have the contact play on for Delmon's at bat.  If so, Cuddyer would have been cut down by three strides at the plate.

Designated hitter Brendan Harris, who had entered the game as a pinch hitter in the sixth inning, was up next.  The chatter in the stands among the self-anointed gurus centered around two possibilities: Would manager Ron Gardenhire put on a squeeze play to get Cuddy in, and would Rodney, with five wild pitches on his 2009 resume, pick this time to unload number six?  The answers turned out to be no and no.  But, Rodney was definitely uncorking some wide fast balls which catcher Laird did well to corral, and Harris drew a five pitch walk.  Gardy inserted Alexi Casilla -- remember that name! -- to run for Harris, who returned to a hero's welcome in the Twins dugout.  Runners at the corners, one out, and 8-hole hitter Matt Tolbert stepped into what was left of the batters' box.

Of the ten men who were in the starting lineup for the Twins, Tolbert had the lowest profile.  He was about to become legendary.  For the last six years, Matt had been toiling away at various levels in the minor leagues.  Even now that he was playing on the Big Team, he had only been used sporadically until early September.  That's when Justin Morneau, one of the team's true superstars, was declared finished for the remainder of the season with a stress fracture in his back.  Ironically, as chronicled in Part I, that is also about the time the Twins got hot, thanks in part to the versatility of Cuddyer who moved from the hot corner to take Morneau's place as first baseman, and to Tolbert's ability to rise to the occasion as Cuddy's replacement at third.  Those were big shoes to fill for the twenty-seven year old.

Tiger skipper Leyland paid a visit to Rodney on the mound.  At this point Rodney had thrown nineteen pitches, most of them under duress.  Was Leyland going to bring in another reliever or stick with his closer?  Was he talking defensive strategy with his infielders who had congregated on the mound?  Should they play in (or perhaps just "corners in"), at double play depth, half-way or at regular depth?  What should Laird do if Casilla attempts to steal?  Hold the ball, throw down to second, or fake a throw to second and try to catch Cuddyer napping at third?  This pause in the action gave the grandstand cognoscenti another opportunity to speculate on what Gardy might do.  A squeeze play was still a possibility, but now one of the fastest guys on the team, pinch runner Casilla, was on first.  So, an attempt at stealing second was certainly a potential weapon.  Rodney was not very good at holding runners close to the bag, but his catcher, Laird, was a gunner who could throw a dart to second base if he had to.

How much could we expect out of Tolbert, a .228 hitter?  He had already come through with a base hit and scored the Twins' first run in the 3rd inning.  Leyland had his infield at double play depth, a strange decision given the fact that Tolbert, a lithe switch-hitting athlete batting from the left side, would be very hard to double up.  On an 0-2 changeup following a 97 m.p.h. fastball, Tolbert chopped a single directly up the middle -- what former Twins manager Tom Kelly used to call a "diamond cutter."  The ball first hit on the dirt a foot or two in front of the plate, but thanks to tremendous topspin barely eluded Rodney and second baseman Polanco, the latter making a desperate but futile lunge.  Cuddyer strode home from third to tie the game at 5.  Casilla, who had not shown any inclination to attempt a steal of second, was able to make it to third without drawing a throw.  As impossible as it seemed, the Metrodome crowd noise became even more deafening.  The division-winning run, Casilla, was just ninety feet away from paydirt, and there was only one out!  No sign of Leyland appearing from the Tigers dugout; he was sticking with his closer, Rodney.

There are at least a dozen synonyms for the word "Improbable."  There are at least a dozen more synonyms for the word "memorable."  I could use any combination of those twenty-six words -- or all of them -- to describe what we witnessed on the next play, and I still would not be doing it justice.

The very bottom of the Twins' order, Nick Punto, was coming to bat.  A casual Twins fan with a short memory might have bemoaned the fact that it was the number nine hitter's turn to bat.  Not me.  The last two times up Punto had forced the Tigers' pitchers to throw an aggregate nineteen crunch time pitches, an outstanding accomplishment in and of itself.  And, in those two plate appearances, both as the inning's leadoff batter, he reached base each time.  Leyland had his corner infielders in, ready to throw home if Casilla tried to score on a grounder.  Leyland hedged his bets with the shortstop and second basemen, playing them half-way but not quite as deep as double play depth.  As is typical in any similar situation where a sacrifice fly would end the game, Leyland signalled his outfielders to play very shallow.  Twins third base coach Scott Ulger could be seen with his mouth a few inches away from Casilla's ear, giving instructions to the twenty-five year old runner, most importantly a reminder to tag on an outfield fly ball.  The stage was set.  The tension was palpable.  I had a knot in my stomach and I was five stories above and a hundred-plus feet away from the field.

Rodney started Punto off with four straight fast balls, two of them at 98 m.p.h.  If anything, Rodney appeared to be getting stronger.  Punto was choking up slightly and shortening his swing, thus bettering his chances of making contact.  As soon as the count reached 0-2, Leyland brought all four infielders in.  Punto managed to foul off three of those four fastballs; the fourth was a brushback.  Rodney was not making Punto miss, a good sign for Twins fans.  Rodney then abandoned the fastball, trying to cross up Punto with an outside letter high changeup.  Punto laced it to left field where Raburn, the same guy whose blunder at the start of the inning had given the Twins life, caught the ball after having to move a few feet to his left.  Then Raburn did two things which 99% of the time should have led to Casilla scoring.  First, because Rayburn did not have time to set his feet and torso properly in motion before the catch, he took two extra mini-steps before unleashing the throw.  Second, his throw home was a bullet, but it was off-target to the third base side of the plate.  Only a fantastic maneuver by the husky Laird, first catching the ball and then diving across the plate to tag the sliding Casilla, saved the day for the Tigers and extended the game.  On a scorecard the double play looks like this: "DP 7-2."  You may want to add a couple of exclamation points after the "2."  

***

We found out later that Raburn had been a pitcher with 95 m.p.h. velocity at the University Of Florida.  Obviously he atoned for his "sin" at the start of the inning by his stupendous play at the end.  If I were still coaching baseball, I would show my team Raburn's involvement in the Cuddyer at bat and the Punto at bat.  It is often said in sports that athletes need to have a short memory.  Even if you make a terrible mistake, you can't let it affect your performance on future plays.  Raburn's adventurous 10th inning proves the point.

There was a second facet, a real head-scratcher, to the Raburn-Laird double play which we did not learn until viewing the game's highlights on television.  For reasons never to this day explained, Casilla did not leave third base until after Raburn had finished taking those two extra mini-steps.  What the rules clearly allow the baserunner to do, and what Casilla should have done, was take off from third as soon as Raburn (or his mitt) touched the ball.  That extra second Casilla gifted to the Tigers contributed to their execution of the tag out at home.  I would label Casilla's gaffe "contributory negligence."

***

As the battle proceeded to the 11th inning I knew that, regardless of the outcome, this was the greatest baseball game I had ever seen.  That remains my opinion today, almost eleven years and hundreds of games later.

Three Of The Twins' Many Foibles

Last autumn I promised myself that if Trevor Plouffe was still the Twins' starting third baseman when the 2014 season opened, I would consciously ignore the team at least until May 1.  The Plouffer's presence in the lineup would be proof enough for me that, notwithstanding their annual marketing campaign, the Twins weren't serious about winning this year.  The Twins' honchos, GM Terry Ryan and his right hand man, Rob Antony, prefer that the fans drink the Kool-Aid and believe, first, that the team will be competitive in 2014, and then secondly, in 2015 when our blue ribbon prospects like Miguel Sano, Byron Buxton and Alex Meyer make it to the Bigs, you will have a hard time getting Target Field tickets.

Just as New Year's resolutions have gone down the drain, so has my autumn resolution.  What I was afraid would happen, happened.  The unquestioned truism that baseball is the best sport, coupled with my possibly delusional perception that the Twins currently seem like a bona fide MLB team, at least temporarily based on the twelve regular season games they've played, have already resulted in my tuning them in on several occasions this month, even if doing so means listening to Bert Blyleven when Momma Cuan is in the room.  (When she's not, I use the "Mute" button on the remote.)  Tradition, curiosity and free home plate box seats have also intervened.

Tradition:  Momma Cuan and I have spent at least a week in Fort Myers four of the last five years, and each time attended at least one Twins spring training game at their local facility, Lee County's Hammond Stadium. We couldn't let that streak die, so we saw them play the Pirates there on March 26.  Curiosity:  The following evening, March 27, we had a chance (thanks to a Johnny Bodega connection) to check out two year old Jet Blue Park where the Red Sox have their Fort Myers spring training headquarters.  The opponent for that game was none other than the Twins.  The aggregate total of runs scored by the Twins in the Pirates and Red Sox games was -- get ready -- two!  Freebees:  Then last week, a friend of ours offered us free home plate box tickets for the Twins' second home game of the season against the A's.  It was a beautiful day, we tried out the new rib tips from Butcher & The Boar, downed some craft suds, and enjoyed a highly entertaining game.  After the Twins came back from a first inning 4-0 deficit, the A's ended up winning their eighth game in a row against the Twins, 7 to 4 in eleven innings.  (Ah, yes, Momma Cuan's worst nightmare, an extra inning game!)

As a result of attending those three late March and early April games, I am back in the saddle and my autumn resolution has gone out the window. Am I setting myself up for major disappointment --perhaps another painful 90-plus loss season -- by paying attention to the exploits of our lovable would-be heroes of the diamond?  As of this writing, the Twins are playing .500 ball (6-6), and are only a game behind the first place, big budget Detroit Tigers.

Is the competitive play we've seen so far what we can expect for the duration of the season?  I doubt it.  The Twins have broken my heart too many times before.  A disinterested neutral observer would probably conclude that the Twins have so many problems that writing a book instead of merely a post about them seems more apropos.  But since this is a blog and blog writers draft posts, this post is what you get.  Based on the three games I've seen live, plus an embarrassingly high number of innings I've witnessed via the idiot lantern so far this young season, here are just three things that should cause even the most optimistic of Twins fans to curb their enthusiasm.

1. Clydesdales At The Corners.  The power positions in an ideal lineup are the corner infielders and outfielders, plus the catcher.  This blue print does not, however, excuse those five players from being able to field their respective positions.  If we consider only the positions of left field and right field, the following four players have started twenty-two times out of the possible twenty-four slots (12 games times two positions) so far this season: Josh Willingham (5 starts in left), Oswaldo Arcia (4 starts in right), Jason Kubel (7 starts in left, 2 in right), and Chris Colabello (4 starts in right).  What do these power people have in common? Answer:  They all run like clydesdales.  This obviously translates into a ground coverage problem, exacerbated by two additional factors.  First, none of the Twins' five starting pitchers is a sinker baller, and only one of them, Phil Hughes, has a career strikeouts-per-nine-innings average of over 7.5.  (It's 7.6.)  As a result, when these guys pitch there are a lot of fly balls.  Second, Target Field is a huge park, with lots of room in the gaps.  In fact, Ricky Nolasco told the press when he signed with the Twins as a free agent that he was attracted to Target Field.  He said Target was built for fly ball pitchers like himself because of the difficulties hitters face when trying to bang the ball over the wall.  (No American League park gave up fewer home runs in 2013 than Target Field.)  Center fielder Aaron Hicks can't cover the entire outfield by himself. He can't "cheat" a little to help out, say, the left fielder, because the right fielder is just as slow as the left fielder.  Expect to see a lot of gappers and Texas Leaguers from the opposing batters.

2. Base Running Boo Boos.  Even in the days of The Piranhas (the middle part of the last decade), when the Twins were supposedly fast and were pretty adept at playing small ball, I never considered them to be a good (i.e., smart) base running team.  A good base runner always knows the situation, how to take a lead and maybe even steal a base, how to get a "good read" on a fly ball, how to use his third base coach, how to round a base, how to slide, etc.  You can't coach speed, so the saying goes, but you can coach those other attributes.  This year the Twins finally have Paul Molitor in the dugout instead of being sort of a roving minor league advisor.  Molly's forte is base running.  I am sad to report that so far I have not seen progress in this important department.  The Twins still run the bases poorly.  Two examples follow.

It is a proven scientific fact that one can not run as fast looking over his shoulder as he can looking forward. (If you don't believe me, try it some time.)  Baseball teams figured that out long ago, but it has not sunk in with all of the Twins personnel.  When a ball is hit to the left of straight-away center field, a runner approaching second base can fairly easily see the outfielder nearest to the ball.  The play is "right in front" of the runner, so he should be able to make a judgment of whether he can make it safely to third.  However, when a ball is hit to the right of straight-away center, the play is behind the runner as he approaches second. In that case, the runner is supposed to "pick up his third base coach," who will signal to him whether to pull up at second or attempt to make it to third.  What the runner is not supposed to do in the latter scenario is turn his head sideways and watch the outfielder himself.  When the runner does that, he involuntarily slows down.  (Another result is that the third base coach and the manager start to cuss and pull out their hair.)   The two worst offenders here are Josh Willingham and Trevor Plouffe, but they are not alone.  The Twins are often accused of playing "station-to-station" (i.e., one base at a time) baseball.  Failure to pick up their third base coach on balls hit to right-center or right is one reason.

The second example has to do with one of the oldest base running principles in the book:  You never want to make the first or the third out of the inning at third base.  Why?  You don't want to make the first out of the inning at third base because if you are a runner at second base you are already in scoring position and you shouldn't want to risk killing an offensive inning (i.e., putting up the proverbial "crooked number") before it has a chance to get started.  An outfield single will probably knock you in.  It is not worth gambling on a close play just to advance an extra base.  You don't want to make the third out of the inning at third because you were already in scoring position at second and you want to keep the inning alive.  The only time a running gamble heading to third base is acceptable is if there is exactly one out.  If the runner makes it to third successfully, he is then in a position to score on a sac fly, which he obviously wouldn't be able to do from second base.  In the April 9 game against the A's, with his team trailing 4 to 1, Trevor Plouffe made the third out of the sixth inning  when he attempted to go from first to third on a single to center field by Jason Kubel. Had Plouffe stayed at second, the Twins would have had runners at first and second with two out.  Instead, the inning abruptly ended and Joe Vavra, the Twins third base coach, looked like his dog died.

3. The Splendid Splinter Theory Goes Haywire.  Ted Williams is often called the greatest natural hitter who ever played the game.  He was also known to have a scientific approach to the art of hitting.  Williams' nickname was the Splendid Splinter.  One of the many reasons Williams was such a great hitter was his batting eye.  There is an old story that a pitcher complained to an umpire that the last pitch should have been ruled strike three instead of a ball.  The umpire retorted something to the effect that "if Mr. Williams didn't swing at the pitch it couldn't possibly have been a strike."

One major problem with the Twins is that there are too many of them who think they have the batting eye of the Splendid Splinter.  News Flash: With the possible exception of Joe Mauer, they don't.  In 2013, out of the thirty MLB teams only the dreadful Houston Astros (who lost 111 games last year) had more strikeouts than the Twins.  The Astros were also the only team to have more called third strikes against them than the Twins.  What's even more discouraging is that in the young 2014 season, the Twins are actually averaging more strikeouts per game than last year's sorry statistic (9.33 this season vs. 8.83 last year).  In my June 17, 2013 post (Putting Pressure On The D) I wrote about how the presence of base runners puts pressure on the opponent's defense.  When you strike out a lot, as do the Twins, especially with the bat on your shoulder, the pressure gauge reads "zero."

Part of the blame might go to Tom Brunansky, who took over as hitting coach last year.  I liked Bruno as a player, but consider this:  The last three years (2010-2012) Joe Vavra was the hitting coach, only the Kansas City Royals and the Texas Rangers (of the thirty MLB teams) averaged striking out fewer times than the Twins!

In summary, the Twins have a lot of weaknesses to correct if they hope to be relevant in the 2014 season. The three problems addressed above are pivotal and require a lot of remedial work.  Good thing there is still a lot of time left this season to address them.  It is amazing how quickly the bloom went off the rose following the unveiling of Target Field in 2010.  Their announced attendance for many home games this season has been in the mid-twenties, which probably means less than 20,000 sets of fannies were actually in the park.   The Twins fans, to their credit, recognize mediocre baseball when they see it.

Regarding Trevor Plouffe, as former ND football coach Charlie Weis was fond of saying, he is what he is, still watching sharply hit balls go by him at The Hot Corner. But the Plouffer has made strides at the plate.  He  is currently hitting .326, good for second highest on the team and eleventh highest in the American League. 

Sojourn In Sudsville

Momma Cuandito and I made our twelfth annual trip to Milwaukee last week to see the Twins take on the Milwaukee Brewers.  To be precise, this was the twelfth year in a row we've gone to Milwaukee to see Major League baseball, and the eleventh time we've seen the Twins versus the Brew Crew there.  The exception was two years ago when we saw the Brewers play the Cubbies instead of the Twins because the daughter of one of Mary's close friends had the audacity to schedule her wedding on the same weekend we otherwise would have followed the Twins to Sudsville.  The Twins-Brewers face off this year was a battle for the ages, as both teams were in last place in their respective divisions.

Our frequent traveling partners, Admiral Bob and Madame Cipolle, were unable to join us for the festivities; something about a little car race in Indy on the same weekend.  Nevertheless, Momma Cuan and I still managed to enjoy ourselves, as we always do in the beer drinking capital of North America, Milwaukee.  Here are some reflections on our excursion.

* We have been staying the past several years at the Ambassador Hotel, a renovated art deco structure which sits on the very western edge of downtown.  Two blocks to the east is Marquette University, home of the Warriors (I mean, the Golden Eagles).  Two blocks to the west is the hood.  There are two main features which attract us to the Ambassador.  First, the hotel runs a shuttle service for its guests, taking them anywhere within a four mile radius.  In all the years we've stayed at the Ambassador, we have only desired transportation to three or four places outside that radius, in which case we've driven ourselves or taken a cab.  Our usual M.O. is to park our car in the hotel lot when we arrive, and not get in it again until departure day.  Two of our three favorite hotel employees are shuttle drivers, Santiago and Sam, who have been working that job for several years.  Santiago, a bald headed philosopher with a ring in his ear, has the unique ability to tell you his life story and cures for the world's ills, all within the duration of a ten minute ride.  He is a guitarist and loves his motorcycle.  If he had a patch over an eye he could pass for one of Captain Hook's pirates.  Sam is a retired Milwaukee city fire fighter who took early retirement but decided working part-time as a driver was better than trying to keep up with his honey-do list around the house.  Sam and his wife have a cabin near Boulder Junction, Wisconsin, and he told us it's bigger than his residence in Milwaukee.  Thank God for defined benefit pensions for public employees!  Sam's best talent is the ability to give his passengers the low down on all the Milwaukee eateries, watering holes and attractions.  He has never given us a bum steer. 

The Ambassador's other main feature which is a big plus for us is the hotel bar, aka the Envoy Lounge.  It is here that you'd find the third of our favorite employees, Chris.  He is what I think of as the model bartender, because he is attentive without being annoying, he knows how to fix a mixed drink, and he's not stingy filling up the wine or draught beer glass.  Either he remembered Momma Cuan and me from our previous stays, or he is a very good actor.  When you return to the hotel after an evening on the town, it is nice to have the option of enjoying a nightcap in the Envoy before calling it a night.  A word of caution, however: Don't order a Tullamore Dew Irish whiskey unless you're willing to fork over fourteen smackers for the shot.  That sticker shock reminded me of why I'm a beer drinker.

One thing we didn't know about the Ambassador before this most recent visit: They have a pillow menu.  If you don't like the pillows they put in your room, select a different one from the pillow menu and the housekeeping people will fulfill your request.  We started out with medium fiber-filled, and ended up with soft down-filled.  To my knowledge, I have never stayed in a place that offered that service, but then for the rate I usually pay at the Motel 6, you can't have everything.  

* On Monday evening we were waiting with another couple from Boston for the shuttle to take us downtown. They appeared to be about our age.  We struck up a conversation for a few minutes before boarding.  When the van pulled up, Mary and I crawled onto far back bench seat, and as the Bostonians got into the middle seat the guy noticed that I had my arm around Mary.  The man jokingly asked, "Say, do you know that woman you're sitting with?" to which I replied, "Only for forty-one years."  With that, his female companion turned around and exclaimed, "No!  You two aren't old enough to know each other that long!"  When we told them we'd been married for thirty-seven years, she still had an incredulous look.  That made my day, even though she was undoubtedly focusing more on Mary.

* We discovered a new bar to patronize before heading to Miller Park.  Saz's is located on State Street, about two miles directly north of the stadium and a stone's throw west of the huge Miller Brewery.  Saz's strong suit is barbecue ribs, and the beer selection is impressive.  We sat in the bar area, which has the feel of a neighborhood gathering spot that gets busy in a hurry when the regulars show up.  The bar itself is circular and small enough to facilitate chatter among most of the stool occupants.  In addition to the bar area, there are two other dining rooms.  The walls in every room are covered with Wisconsin sports posters, pictures and other memorabilia, including several framed autographed jerseys from professional athletes with local ties.  Saz's runs little buses to Miller Park, leaving about every ten to fifteen minutes.  On Tuesday night we took the Ambassador shuttle to Saz's, then after a tasty rib dinner took Saz's bus to the game, and returned to the Ambassador on the hotel bus after the game.  Incidentally, we did not get back to the Ambassador until shortly after midnight, and the Envoy was closing up.  But, our buddy Chris snuck us in.  What a guy!

* I suppose I should write something about the two games we saw, since that was the main reason for our trip.  The Twins won both contests, but some of the things that struck me as noteworthy had nothing directly to do with the game action itself.  For instance, the first game was a Memorial Day matinee, and the teams wore camouflage caps honoring the military.  Before the singing of the National Anthem, the Twins lined up along the third base line, and then the Brewers came out of their dugout and lined up on the first base line.  The cool thing was that former Twin Carlos ("Go Go") Gomez walked over to Twins manager Ron Gardenhire and shook his hand before joining his fellow Brewers.  That was an unscripted classy move that seemed to take Gardy by surprise.  The several thousand Twins fans in Milwaukee that day cheered for Go Go every time he came up.  He has always been a fan favorite in the Twin Cities, and he is a better ball player now than he was as a youngster with the Twins.  (Going into the series, he was hitting .326.)  Coincidentally, in Monday's game Go Go creamed two monstrous home runs, including one that traveled over 450 feet.

The Tuesday game started at 7:10 p.m., lasted fourteen innings, and did not end until 11:53.  I've got to give a tip of the cap to Momma Cuan, who hung in there for every pitch.  The paid attendance for the game was 24,415, and I would estimate that only around 10,000 were around to see the final inning.  Miller Park-- and before that, Milwaukee County Stadium-- is famous for the sausage races which take place before the bottom of the sixth inning.  Five humans donning sausage mascot costumes trot around the perimeter of the infield, and the crowd goes nuts.  To reward the die-hard fans who did not leave early, a second sausage race was conducted before the bottom of the twelfth inning!  I'm not sure what the odds were on the Daily Double, but for the record the winners were Italian Sausage (Guido) and Hot Dog (Frankie Furter).  We also did a 14th inning stretch as the organist played "Take Me Out To The Ball Game" for the second time that night.

The extra sausage races and the extra inning "stretch" weren't the only new visual experiences for me on Tuesday night.  I saw something else which was out of the ordinary and could only happen in a National League park.  Usually when a manager has two pitchers warming up in the bullpen, one is a righty and the other is a southpaw.  Sometimes it's because the manager is unsure at what point he's going to need to pull his pitcher, and sometimes it's because he is planning on using both relief pitchers on back-to-back hitters hitting from opposite sides of the plate.  The extraordinary phenomenon I witnessed occurred in the bottom of the fourth inning.  The Twins were winning 4 to 0 going into the Brewers' bottom half of the inning, but Twins starting pitcher Scott Diamond, who had been brilliant for the first three innings, all of a sudden hit a wall and could not get back his rhythm.  He gave up hits to five of the first six hitters he faced in the 4th, and before you could say "Great seats, eh buddy?" the score was 4 to 3 with the tying run on second and only one out.  Gardy looked like he needed a stiff drink.  Pitching coach Rick Anderson was trying to avoid making eye and audio contact with Gardy.  The Twins had two pitchers frantically getting ready in the bullpen, but unlike what would be happening if the game were in an AL park, both guys warming up were right handed pitchers.  I figured out why, and shared my observation with MC, whose response was "oh."  If your response would be the same if you had the misfortune of having to sit next to me at a baseball game, you should skip the next paragraph.

Here is why the Twins were warming up two right handed pitchers simultaneously in the bullpen.  The pitcher (9-hole) was due to lead off the top of the 5th for the Twins.  If Gardy replaced Diamond before he could get out of the near-disastrous 4th, the new pitcher would probably be replaced by a pinch hitter in the Twins' half of the 5th, and a second reliever would have to be utilized to pitch in the bottom of the fifth.  Thus, the Twins would have burned through an extra pitcher for the sole purpose of relieving Diamond.  The next two Brewers batters (Yuniesky Betancourt and Alfredo Figaro) scheduled to face Diamond in the fourth were right handed batters, so Gardy had one righty (Ryan Pressly) ready to be called in to get out of the inning, and a second righty (Casey Fien) to start the 5th after Pressly would be lifted for a pinch hitter.  As it turned out, Diamond got out of the inning without further damage by inducing Betancourt to hit into a 5-4-3 double play, but it was clear that Gardy was ready to come out with the hook if Betancourt had reached.  In an American League park, where pitchers don't bat, the need to warm up two right-handed (or for that matter, left-handed) pitchers at the same time would not exist. 

The Twins' winning run was scored in the top of the 14th inning on a sacrifice fly by pinch hitter Eduardo Escobar.  His heroic launch came at about 11:35.  Prior to that, he had been sitting in the dugout for almost four and a half hours, waiting for his turn to get into the game.  

* I have probably driven the Minneapolis to Madison stretch of Interstate 94 about 300 times.  Attending college in Indiana, visiting friends and assorted rellies in Chicago, having a daughter, The Beanschwagel, living in Madison and Milwaukee, and another daughter, JR Sacejewea, living in the Windy City, not to mention baseball games in Sudsville and occasional football games in The Bend and Mad City, necessitated lots of those trips.  I have tried many a bar and restaurant (diners, drive-ins & dives, to coin a phrase) along the way.  No blog post about a trip to Milwaukee would be complete without at least mentioning my two current (and long-time) favorite spots on the route.  The first is the Norske Nook, located in Osseo, Wisconsin, eighty-eight miles southeast of the St. Croix River and therefore easily found off of Exit # 88.  The three best reasons to have lunch at Norske's are butterscotch cream pie, banana cream pie and sour cream raisin pie.  Sometimes we put in our order for dessert before we order the entree, just to make sure it's sitting there waiting for us when we've finished our hot turkey sandwiches or Swedish meatballs.

Our other go-to place is Monk's Bar in the heart of downtown Wisconsin Dells.  The Dells isn't just for getting a piercing or tattoo any more!  There is no need to deliberate over Monk's attractive menu.  Just order a cheeseburger with mushrooms and fries, and you are set.  I originally thought that the tastiness of Spotted Cow on tap, which I typically use to wash down my burger, might be affecting my judgment.  But no!  On this last visit I went sans suds (diet Coke with a lime, instead), and I still place Monk's burger at the top of my Wisconsin Burger List.  And everyone knows, Wisconsin makes the best hamburgers in the country.            

Drinking With Dick And Bert

Last year about this time, the Twins were well on their way toward having a historically bad season. Whenever the team would show an infrequent spark of life by winning a game or two, the TV homers, Dick Bremer and Bert Blyleven, would gush, "If we can just get to .500 we can catch the division leaders." Then later, at some point in July, the Twins managed to get within seven games of the coveted .500 and I started to drink the Kool-aid. There was still time to catch the Tigers. I kept going to games (I had season tickets) and spending way too many hours watching our boys kick the ball around, make idiotic mental errors in the field and on the base paths, and take clueless at bats (e.g., taking wild swings at pitches far out of the strike zone immediately following a four-pitch walk to the previous batter). The Twins ended up losing ninety-nine games that season.

Now we are a third of the way through the new current season. As of today, the Twins have the worst record in the American League, and the third worst record overall among the thirty MLB teams. Again, Dick and Bert are promising better things, if only we can get to .500. It ain't gonna happen. We failed to sweep a weekend home series against the pathetic Cubs, getting pummeled 8 to 2 this past Sunday, and just lost a three game home series to the Phillies, a team that is in last place in the National League East and is missing three of their very best players who are on the Disabled List. The Twins appear to be headed to another ninety-plus loss season.

I like baseball too much - - it is my favorite sport - - to quit watching it cold turkey, but I have decided that the agony of watching our home boys' incompetence will be easier if I imbibe my favorite beverage as I'm doing so. My beverage of choice is, of course, beer.

I have seen MLB games in twenty-four different stadiums. (I would have written "stadia" but did not want to appear to be snotty!) It is my observation that the fans of the Milwaukee Brewers are the best partiers of any home crowd I've visited. If you have ever seen a Miller Park tailgate throng, you won't quickly forget it. A whole bunch of the fans from Sudsville will be in Minneapolis this weekend to watch their Brew Crew take on the Twins. So, in honor of the Brewers (my favorite National League team) and their fans, and also in recognition of Fathers' Day this Sunday, I have created a little drinking game to play while watching the Twins on the idiot lantern. I call the game "Drinking With Dick And Bert." For the rest of this post I'll simply refer to it as "The Game." Some revisions to The Game would obviously have to be made for anyone attending a game in person. My other disclaimer is that this is my first crack at putting together a drinking game (although I have been a participant in my share of them), so consider this a work in progress. Suggested improvements are welcome.

For starters, the participants in The Game must choose a Manager to make sure the rules are followed. The Game is divided into nine Innings, each with a different category which remains in play throughout the duration of the matching inning in the Twins game. The Manager decides the order of the Innings of The Game to be played. For example, she may pick the Gardy Inning to be in effect during the first inning of the Twins game, and the Bert Inning to be in effect during the second inning of the Twins game, etc. The Manager shall announce her selection before the start of each inning of the Twins game. If it is a particularly thirsty crowd, the Manager may decide to play several Innings of The Game simultaneously, keeping them in effect for a duration longer than just one inning of the Twins game. I don't know if it would be possible to keep all nine Innings of The Game in effect for the entire duration of the Twins game. That might be asking for trouble.

Each Inning of The Game has three things to watch for in the Twins game. As any one of those three things occurs, the players in The Game may (i) take a sip, (ii) take a swallow, or (iii) enjoy a group toast and take a hearty slug. Sips are usually associated with something that is pretty likely to happen in the Twins game that inning, swallows are associated with something less likely to happen, and hearty slugs are associated with a rarer event.

Just in case the Twins game does not provide the action that enables players of The Game to quench their thirst, we also have Social Drinks every so often, as called for by the Manager. When the Manager declares that it's time for a Social Drink, everyone should stand for a group toast and a hearty slug. To keep things symmetrical, there are nine occasions for Social Drinks, as you will see below.

Without further ado, here are the nine Innings of The Game:

The Dick Bremer Inning: (i) take a sip if Dick says a ball is hit deep even though the outfielder catches it well in front of the warning track; (ii) take a swallow if Dick says the ball was hit in the gap even though the outfielder had to take only two steps to his right or left to catch it; (iii) enjoy a group toast and take a hearty slug if Dick calls into question a managerial or coaching decision.

The Steve Liddle Inning: (i) take a sip if Liddle holds a base runner at third with less than two out; (ii) take a swallow if Liddle holds a runner at third with two out; (iii) enjoy a group toast and take a hearty slug if a runner blows through Liddle's stop sign and heads for home.

The Ben Revere Inning: (i) take a sip if Revere lays down a sac bunt; (ii) take a swallow if Revere bunts for a base hit; (iii) enjoy a group toast and take a hearty slug if Revere does a somersault either on the base path or in the outfield.

The Joe Mauer Inning: (i) take a sip if Mauer punches the ball to the left side for a hit; (ii) take a swallow if Mauer pulls the ball to the right side for an extra base hit; (iii) enjoy a group toast and take a hearty slug if Mauer (or whoever is catching for the Twins) goes to the mound and pats the pitcher on the back.

The Gardy Inning: (i) take a sip if the camera shows Gardy right after the Twins commit an error or the pitcher issues a walk; (ii) take a swallow if Gardy disgustedly walks to the mound and removes the pitcher without making eye contact or giving him a pat on the butt; (iii) enjoy a group toast and take a hearty slug if Gardy gets tossed by an umpire.

The Bert Blyleven Inning: (i) take a sip if Bert says "little cutter" or "SHE-caugo"; (ii) take a swallow if Bert or Dick mentions that Bert is in the Hall Of Fame; (iii) enjoy a group toast and take a hearty slug if Bert refers to his California high school math.

The Baserunners Inning: (i) take a sip if a Twins baserunner steals a base; (ii) take a swallow if a Twins baseruner breaks up a double play; (iii) enjoy a group toast and take a hearty slug if a Twins baserunner advances a base on an outfield fly.

The Fielders Inning: (i) take a sip if a Twin catches a ball in foul territory more than ninety feet from the plate; (ii) take a swallow if the Twins turn a double play; (iii) enjoy a group toast and take a hearty slug if a Twin makes a diving or shoe-string catch.

The Post-Game Inning: (i) take a sip if Roy Smalley looks straight at the camera with a goofy smile (as if he's being goosed) while Anthony LaPanta is speaking; (ii) take a swallow if Robbie Incmikoski, in a post-game interview, begins a question with, "How are you able..." or "What is it like..."; (iii) enjoy a group toast and take a hearty slug if Ron Coomer uses the phrase "to me" more than twice.

As noted above, we also have Social Drinks periodically throughout The Game, just in case the beer is getting flat or warm from sitting in our vessels too long. (An aside: I'd like to raise a toast to my Broken Arrow friend, Gary Larson, who introduced me to the concept of interspersing Social Drinks within the confines of a drinking game.) If the Manager feels that a Social Drink is in order, she may propose one to the group, at which point everyone enjoys a group toast and takes a hearty slug. However, in an effort to keep things reasonably under control, the Manager may call for a Social Drink only upon the occurrence of any one of the following events during the Twins telecast.

* A Fox Sports North Girl does a spot for (what else?) Fox Sports North.
* Jamie Carroll, Brian Dozier or Lexi Casilla does a head-first slide.
* Sal Butera or Darin Mastroianni gets a base hit.
* Denard Span has an at-bat lasting longer than six pitches.
* The Twins starting pitcher begins the seventh inning.
* The Twins infielders execute a run-down by using less than four throws.
* An opposing base runner gets caught stealing.
* The Twins turn a double-play.
* The Twins score a run.

As an extra added attraction, we have The Plouffie Toast. Any time Trevor Plouffe gets a hit or makes a play in the field, everyone shall immediately rise to their feet and salute him by crying out "da Plouffer!" as they enjoy a group toast and take a hearty slug. The Plouffie Toast does not require a wink or a nod from the Manager. It should be spontaneous.

Finally, it goes without saying that the final out of a Twins victory is most worthy of a group toast and a hearty slug.

Have a Red Letter Day and a Stroh's Lite Night!

The Art Of The Double Play

Momma Cuandito sometimes refers to me as "The Linear Guy." She even gave me a pair of boxers with that moniker stitched on the pant leg. I wear them proudly. Somehow, "linear" seems a little less derogatory than "anal." To be honest, I don't mind being called linear. It's mostly about the process. I admit that I'm not particularly creative or able to think outside of the box. Maybe my left brain works overtime, while my right brain is a slacker. I believe I've always been that way. For example, when I played ball as a youngster The Marquis was my coach for several years, and he always put me at third base. At the time I attributed that assignment to my having very quick reflexes, honed by hours of playing ping pong, a sport which demands that ability. Looking back, however, it could be that the reason for having me at the hot corner was that a third baseman only has two assignments. If the ball is hit to you, scoop it up and throw accurately. If the ball is not hit to you, go directly to the bag and be ready for a play at that base. Even a linear guy can keep that straight.

Despite my experience as a third sacker, it is the shortstop position that holds the key for me and which I find the most fascinating. Quite often you can tell what a manager is thinking just by looking at where his shortstop is playing. Everyone knows that championship teams are built with a strong defense up the middle. Corner infielders and corner outfielders can be forgiven for sub-par glove work if they can hit. Not so for the two middle infielders, the catcher and the center fielder. Their bread and butter is defense.

More balls are hit to the shortstop than to any other player. There is almost no margin for error at short; bobble the ball and the batter is safe. The throws from the hole are longer than those which the other infielders must attempt. There is more ground to cover on foul balls. Bang-bang base stealing attempts. Taking charge on infield pop-ups. And, what separates the wheat from the chaff - - turning the double play.

The guy who played short next to me for four years was Wayne Ziegler, a human vacuum cleaner. Ziggy was 20% bigger than me, yet 40% quicker. Our second baseman was Steve "Woody" Wooddruff, a little lead-off type guy who, like Ziggy, took it as a personal insult if a ball squirted through our infield. If only we had a first baseman who could've caught our throws! Just kidding.

All of this is a prelude to the main focus of this post, double plays. Double plays are frequently dubbed "a pitcher's best friend," because nothing gets a hurler out of a jam more quickly than a good ol' DP. Other than triples and (of course) home runs, DPs may just well be the most exciting plays during a game. Yet, I feel they are underappreciated by too many fans. DPs are all about positioning, timing, chemistry, footwork, and (Dare I say it?) courage. If you think I'm exaggerating by writing "courage," I suggest you google "Tsuyoshi Nishioka injury."

By my count, almost all the DPs you're likely to witness during a game fall into one of six categories.

1. The Strike 'em Out/Throw em' Out DP. A lot of teams like to send a runner (i.e., attempt a steal of second base) on a 3-2 count with less than two out. (Of course, with two out, a man on first will be running anyway on a 3-2 count.) Why? Because if the 3-2 pitch is a ball, the runner reaches second base without a throw. If the batter strikes out, the catcher still has to make a throw to second in time to get the runner. That is asking a lot of a catcher, since the batter is likely swinging. Whichever middle infielder takes the throw usually does so in front of the bag, so that the bag does not get in the way, and tries to swipe tag the base stealer. As I wrote above, it is a bang-bang play.

2. The Around the Horn DP. Scored as a "5-4-3" double play, this simply means that the ball is hit to the third baseman who starts the double play by throwing to the second baseman, who then relays the ball to first. The ball is in the air a little longer than a DP which starts with the first baseman (# 5 below) or a middle infielder (# 6), so unless the batter is a catcher or is otherwise built like Prince Fielder, there is usually a photo finish at first. A long-legged first baseman who can stretch comes in handy here.

3. The Outfield Assist DP. Sometimes a runner will tag on an outfield fly, and try to advance a base after the catch. If he's thrown out, it's scored as a DP. The most common scenario for this type of DP is a runner at second tagging on a ball hit in the air to right field, followed by the right fielder nailing the dude at third. When it's executed by the home team, the crowd goes wild. When you think about how long a throw from right field to third base is, and the accuracy required, it boggles the mind. Almost every team puts its outfielder with the strongest arm in right field. But of the fourteen teams in the American League, there are only a handful which have right fielders who are blessed with a cannon for an arm. The cream of the crop are considered to be Jose Bautista of the Blue Jays, Jeff Francoeur of the Royals, Nick Markakis of the Orioles, and Torii Hunter of the Angels. Ichiro Suzuki of the Mariners, Josh Reddick of the A's and Nelson Cruz of the Rangers would closely follow on the next tier. Baserunners and third base coaches respect those guys' throwing prowess, so unless a fly ball is hit very deep to one of them, only a team's speediest runners will tag at second and go.

4. The Line-out DP. As the name suggests, this DP occurs when a runner is doubled off a bag following a line drive out. The base runners are most vulnerable to this kind of DP if a steal attempt or a hit-and-run is in the works. That is a risk managers take when they employ either of those offensive strategies. By the way, if a runner passes second base and has to retreat to first to avoid getting doubled off, he must re-touch second on his way back.

5. The 3-6-3 DP. First base is the position which most baseball observers call the easiest of the nine to play, and I won't pick an argument with those who think so. But a properly executed 3-6-3 double play requires some athleticism by the first baseman. On this type of DP, the first baseman fields a ground ball and has to make a quick throw to the shortstop covering second. In order to avoid hitting the runner in the back with this throw, the first baseman will usually have to take a step forward, toward the plate, before making the toss. If the first baseman is right handed, this requires a little do-si-do twirling of the body as he's getting ready to throw the ball. (That is one of two reasons most first basemen are left handed. The other is being quicker on a swipe tag on a pickoff move by the pitcher.) Finally, after making the tough throw, the first baseman has to hustle back to the bag in time to receive the return throw from the shortstop. Sometimes that necessitates trying to "find the bag" with his big toe while keeping his eye on the incoming throw from the shortstop. If the first baseman can't get back to the bag in time, the pitcher is supposed to be there to take the throw. In that case, the DP is scored "3-6-1."

6. The Middlemen DP. This is the most common DP of all, when the ball is hit to a middle infielder who either (i) steps on second base himself and throws to first, or (ii) more likely, throws the ball to his counterpart for the force at second, and then said counterpart throws to first. There are several things to watch for during the Middlemen DP.  The ball should arrive at second base at the very moment that the middleman taking the throw arrives at the bag; timing is paramount.  I love watching an agile second baseman, playing a left-handed batter to pull, gobble up a hard grounder off the infield skin and make a long on-target throw to his shortstop to beat the hustling baserunner at second.  My favorite element of the Middlemen DP is the shortstop crow hop. Whenever a middle infielder takes a throw at second from his counterpart, he is supposed to touch the bag with his "outside" foot, meaning the right foot for a shortstop, or the left foot for a second baseman. In the latter case, this enables the second baseman to step away from the bag to avoid the sliding incoming runner and simultaneously plant his right foot before throwing the ball to first. When it's the shortstop who is taking the throw, he does so with his right foot on the bag and his left foot extended forward, then does a crow hop with his right foot before stepping into his throw. By "crow hop" I mean that he is bringing his right foot to a spot behind his left foot instead of ahead of it. Ironically, Brian Dozier, the Twins' rookie shortstop, has had his troubles in the field with routine ground balls, yet is one of the best I've seen at turning the double play. He is a master crow hopper!

The Twins, with a record of 21 & 34, have the worst record in the American League. The main culprit has been an abysmal starting rotation, with an earned run average approaching a horrid 7.00. The hitting has been off and on, and the bullpen has been above average, but the bright spot so far this season has been the defense. The Twins have turned 76 double plays this year to lead the American League, easily ahead of the Blue Jays' second highest total of 63. When the Twins have frustrated you to the point where you feel like the game is not worth watching, remember that a well-executed double play is a thing of beauty, and the Twins are pretty good in that department.

Sports Yucks 'n' Nuggs - Volume I

During the telecast of last February's Super Bowl 46 - - er, excuse me, "Super Bowl XLVI" - - Al Michaels told a funny story about New York Giants left guard Tom Snee, a story that I have paraphrased below. Michaels' short anecdote started me thinking that, in the course of a typical month or two, I read and hear several sports-related stories that are either funny or are worthy of at least a nod or a salute because they are interesting.  That latter group is what might be called "nuggets," and is the "Nuggs" referred to in the title.  I am sure that I've encountered several of such items since February, but I hereby admit that I wasn't diligent enough to write each and every one of them down before they escaped my sixty-four year old memory bank. In any event, I now have compiled a baker's dozen from the last three and a-half months, so that's enough to provide fodder for The Quentin Chronicle. Once again, some of these items aren't necessarily funny, but I have included them because they went beyond the standard game previews, play-by-plays, and game summaries that comprise most of what we see and hear as sports fans. I have designated this post as "Volume I" just in case there's a Volume II. One never knows.

1. ABC television announcer Al Michaels told the story of an interview he had with New York Giants starting left guard Tom Snee, who happens to be married to head coach Tom Coughlin's daughter. Michaels asked Snee what his wife says when he comes home complaining about how hard Coughlin's practices are. Snee answered, "She tells me to suck it up."

2. Sean Payton and Bill Belichick, head coaches of the New Orleans Saints and the New England Patriots, respectively, both have a reputation of being smug.  On April 5, after the news of the Saints' bounty program broke and Payton was suspended for a full year by NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell, this comparison was rendered by KSTP radio personality Judd Zulgad, a former Vikings beat writer for the Star Tribune: "During a press conference, Bill Belichick is the smartest guy in the room. Sean Payton just thinks he is."

3. The Twins new left fielder, Josh Willingham, is built like a linebacker. This is what Fox North's television announcer Dick Bremer had to say on April 7 after Willingham crashed into the wall along the left field line at Camden Yard as he was trying to catch a foul fly: "Makes you feel sorry for the wall."

4. During the April 15 telecast of the Twins-Rangers game, the cameras were focusing on Twins center fielder Denard Span while the announcers were describing his defensive prowess. One second into the shot, Span attempted to spit, but got his spittle all over the front of his jersey. The camera quickly panned to right fielder Clete Thomas, even though the announcers weren't finished talking about Span. Perfect timing! (My sense of humor is nothing if not unsophisticated.)

5. Ivan "Pudge" Rodriquez, one of the best catchers in baseball history (21 seasons, .311 career batting average, 1332 career RBI, and American league MVP in 1999) retired from the game this year. He spent his first twelve years in the Big Leagues with the Texas Rangers, who honored him with a pre-game ceremony on April 24. Rather than throw out the ceremonial first pitch, which is what most honorees do, Pudge got behind the plate and rifled a throw to former teammate Michael Young at the second base bag. Throughout the years, many base runners were thrown out attempting to steal against Rodriguez, and his final throw was a vivid illustration of why.

6. The Vikings drafted two players from Notre Dame (safety Harrison Smith and corner back Robert Blanton) two weeks ago, bringing to five the number of Domers currently on The Purple's roster. In a radio interview on KSTP, program host Phil Mackey asked Smith, "How long before you guys put up a 'Play Like A Champion' sign in the locker room?"

7. On May 2, Twins starting pitcher Liam Hendricks was shelled by the Angels for six earned runs and nine hits before exasperated manager Ron Gardenhire came out in the third inning with the hook. En route from the mound back to the dugout, Hendricks skipped over the chalked first base foul line, apparently in a move to avert bad luck.

8. Last week the Vikings released veteran place kicker Ryan Longwell. Not only is his name perfect for the position he plays, but so is his Twitter account:
@4thand Longwell.

9. Adam Yauch of the Beastie Boys died on May 4. As a tribute to that native New Yorker, all nine of the players in the Mets' starting lineup that night chose a different Beastie Boys song for their walk-up tune.

10. Chris Davis had a dreadful night as the designated hitter for the Baltimore Orioles when they played the Boston Red Sox on May 6. He went hitless in eight at bats, as the game went seventeen innings and lasted six hours and seven minutes. Those ABs included five strike outs and hitting into a double play. However, Davis' fortunes did a 180 degree turn when the O's ran out of pitchers and had to turn to Davis (normally a first baseman) to pitch the sixteenth and seventeenth innings. He held the Red Sox scoreless, and was credited with the 9 to 6 Baltimore win. The losing pitcher was also a position player, outfielder Darnell McDonald, as the Red Sox ran out of pitchers too. The last time a MLB game was played between two teams which each used position players to pitch was October 4, 1925.

11. The Angels' Jered Weaver threw a no-hitter against the Twins on May 2 in Anaheim. In the history of baseball, only one pitcher, Johnny Vander Meer of the Cincinnati Reds in 1938, has ever thrown back-to-back no-nos. The Twins returned home from their disastrous west coast road trip (1 win, 5 losses, and only 8 total runs scored in those 6 games) on May 7, and had to face Weaver again that night. (It would be only the eighth time in MLB history that a pitcher's first outing following a no-hitter would be against the same opponent.) The sports world wondered if Weaver could match Vander Meer's feat. When the Twins' Erik Komatsu finally broke the ice by getting a single in the third inning, the Twins' home crowd derisively gave Komatsu and his teammates a standing ovation. Komatsu's fifteen seconds of fame did not last long. With two out in the top of the ninth inning and the game still within reach by the Twins, Komatsu dropped an easy fly ball in left field off the bat of Mark Trumbo for a two-run error, effectively icing the eventual win for the Angels.

12. With two out in the bottom of the ninth inning on May 10, the Twins' Trevor Plouffe hit a foul ball which struck the head of a woman seated in the third row of the box seats close to the plate. The woman was immediately assisted by stadium medical personnel. One pitch later, Plouffe struck out to end the game. The Toronto Blue Jays' catcher, J.P. Arencibia, went to the stands to check on the woman, and presented her with the game ball.

13. The NBA's Charlotte Bobcats (the majority owner of which is none other than Michael Jordan) finished the NBA season with a record of 7 wins and 59 losses, for a winning percentage of .106, the worst in NBA history. As of Friday morning, May 11, the Twins' record was a measly 8 wins and 23 losses. KFAN radio program host Mike Morris assessed the hapless Twins with this statement: "We are the Bobcats."

There you have it. As promised, a baker's dozen. Here is one more little gem to end this post. What follows is the answer given by WCCO TV's Pat Kessler, an expert on the state political process, to a question asked by KFAN radio host Dan Barreiro on May 8, the day following the Minnesota State House Of Representatives' approval of the Vikings stadium bill. On May 8, the Minnesota State Senate was engaged in a seemingly unending session to discuss the same topic. Dan asked Pat what could possibly remain to be said in the Senate, given the fact that the House debated the bill ad nauseam the previous day. Here was Pat's reply:

"It isn't that everything has not been said; it's that it has not been said by everyone."

If this were a political post instead of a sports post, I would point out that Kessler's clever answer is illustrative of why the legislature is sometimes accused of being a "do nothing" governmental unit.  However, such an opinion would be out of place here, so I won't even mention it.