The Second Best Thing About Liverpool, Part I: Two Days, One Night

The train trip from Glasgow to Liverpool took a shade under four hours, including a transfer in Wigan, England.  Momma Cuandito and I jump into a cab to take us from Lime Street Station to Hotel Indigo, and immediately are treated to a taste of the Scouse humor for which Liverpudlians are so famous.

Cabbie: Where ya from?

 

Mary: Minnesota.

 

Cabbie: Aye, and why did ya come to Liverpool?

 

Mary: We're here to see all the famous Beatles landmarks.

 

Cabbie: Aye, the Beatles.  Did ya know that the Beatles are the second best thing ever to come out of Liverpool?

 

Mary, deciding to play along:  No I didn't.  What's the first?

 

Cabbie, with a dry delivery:  Why the Liverpool Football Club, of course.

 

As the Mop Tops once sang, "I should have known better."

 

Ever since I listened to the Beatles on the radio in late January 1964, I have been a fan.  (You already knew this via your vivid recollection of my March 10, 2014 post, The Old Boy Raises One In Honor Of Mike Smith.)  Their three appearances the following month on the Ed Sullivan Show sealed the deal.  I determined some day I was going to make the pilgrimage to Liverpool and see for myself where it all began.  Now, fifty-two years later, the chance has arrived.  For three days we will be in the city that the Beatles put on the map!

 

Wednesday Afternoon.  The Hotel Indigo is conveniently located near Pier Head, which along with Albert Dock constitutes the famous Liverpool waterfront.  On this beautiful sunny afternoon, our first order of business is to ferry 'cross the Mersey.  In case those words ring a bell, Ferry Cross The Mersey was a huge hit for Gerry And The Pacemakers.  What does that song and that band have to do with the Beatles?  Gerry And The Pacemakers was another Liverpool quartet which overwhelmed the American music scene in the first wave of the 1964 British Invasion.  Before the summer of '64 was over, Gerry and the boys had cracked the Hot 100 on the US Billboard charts four times, including two in the Top 10.  Unlike any of the Beatles' early songs, Ferry Cross The Mersey was actually about Liverpool.  And for the most important Beatles connection, Gerry And The Pacemakers' manager was Brian Epstein, whose principal client was none other than the Beatles. [For an additional tidbit about Ferry Cross The Mersey, see Note # 1 at the end of this post.]

 

The River Mersey, about a mile wide, separates Liverpool from the Wirral Peninsula, commonly referred to as "the Wirral," and empties into the nearby Irish Sea.   After leaving Pier Head, the ferry makes a fifty minute loop with quick stops at Seacombe and Woodside on the Wirral while the Pacemakers' song is pumped over the PA system.  Gotta love the Merseybeat sound!  The ship provides the very best perspectives of the Liverpool skyline, which is dominated by three large buildings dubbed the Three Graces.  This magnificent view makes up for the Wirral's nondescript shoreline across the water, where the main attractions appear to be ugly commercial and industrial admiralty enterprises.  Regarding the lyrics to Ferry Cross The Mersey, the lack of interesting features on the Wirral convinces me that when Gerry sang "... and always take me there, the place I love," he must have been on the Wirral desperately wishing he was in Liverpool instead.  [For an additional tidbit about the Three Graces, see Note # 2 at the end of this post.]

 

Wednesday Evening.  After a short stop back at the Indigo to unpack and put our feet up for a bit, it is time for Happy Hour.  Our plan is to casually meander over to what's called the Mathew Street Quarter, where the famous Cavern Club is a must stop for Beatle pilgrims.  There is no shortage of interesting pubs to try in this compact city, and each of the three travel books we researched (Fodor, Frommer and Rick Steves) has their faves.  One such place which sounds intriguing  along our pedestrian route is Ye Hole In Ye Wall.  I'll admit I am a sucker for any tavern with the olde English word "ye" in its name; this one has two!

 

Ye Hole is noteworthy if not famous for at least two reasons.  First, it claims to be the oldest pub in Liverpool, dating back to 1726.  Upon entering, one sees nothing which would raise a doubt about such an assertion.  The wooden floors and wooden walls separating the small rooms, even the bar itself, look and feel as if they've been in place for centuries.  The pub's second item of notoriety stems from the fact that, until 1975 when the city ordinances mandated change, the only water closet was for the males.  The men's room is on the main floor but, sure enough, to reach the women's room ladies have to go behind the bar and up a flight of creaky stairs.  It takes me a moment to spot the small sign posted on the wall at the end of the bar directing distaff patrons to the women's room.  I need to take a picture of that famous sign without blatantly exposing myself as a tourist.  As I get off my barstool I brush against a well dressed gray-haired man who ends up standing right in front of the sign for at least fifteen minutes, chatting with the barmaid.  Finally he leaves and I am able to capture the sign, as Mary wonders if we'll ever go into any establishment without me snapping a photo.  In my defense, at least I don't use a flash!

 

The temptation is there to enjoy a second pint, but we wisely choose to have it in another tavern.  As we are leaving Ye Hole through the small entryway, I notice the cool murals painted with large colorful curved lettering and dainty flowers on the interior walls between the front doors, so of course I have to take a picture of that too before we leave.  What I don't realize is that the same well-dressed man is standing out on the sidewalk, watching me.  "Do you think those paintings are worthy of a photo?" he asks.

 

I sense trouble, but I play it straight.  "Yes," I answer.  "Are you the owner?"

 

It turns out he is not the owner, but he is the artist who painted all those magnificent interior designs.  He introduces himself as James Rice -- I hope I am remembering his name correctly -- and after a chat he agrees to allow me to take a picture of him in front of his work.  He is obviously pleased that Mary and I admire his creativity.

 

We have time to try one more pub on our way to Mathew Street, where we expect to eat dinner.  After our pleasant experience at Ye Hole, we think we might get lucky again.  I've read about a bar en route called Thomas Rigby's, so that is our destination.  The main attraction there will be a combination of interior quaintness and a garden courtyard.

 

Finding any particular small pub in the canyons of Liverpool's town center is not easy.  Many of them are located in narrow alleys sometimes called "wynds," "closes" or "heys."  Most of those alleys are not found on street maps, thereby requiring a lot of guesswork for an out-of-towner.  We walk right by Rigby's without realizing it, but after we eventually draw that conclusion several blocks later, we spot it as we backtrack.

 

Rigby's is your prototypical UK bar.  Over 90% of the patrons are men, especially in the early evening.  There are no seats at the bar.  Customers can stand there while they place their order, and they can drink standing up, but that's it.  If they prefer sitting while imbibing they must retreat to a table along the walls.  The beer selection in Brit pubs is usually above average, but unlike Ireland where Guinness is omnipresent, there is no one malt beverage which has cornered the UK market.  Another feature which Mary and I both find to our liking:  Almost every bar offers half-pint pours for roughly half the price of a full pint.  This enables patrons who are unfamiliar with the offerings to try several without floating away or bursting the bladder.  In the unlikely event I ever own a bar, you will find that customer-friendly feature there.

 

At last we we are ready for dinner.  Mathew Street, a five minute walk from Rigby's, turns out to be a disappointment, at least initially.  We come upon Mathew Street unexpectedly, as it is only a notch wider than those wynds and closes.  My first impression of this brightly lit corridor is that it reminds me of a cross between Bourbon Street and Atlantic City.  Okay, I've never been to Atlantic City, but you get my drift, right?  The adjective best describing the place is "seedy."  The street's length is only the equivalent of a short city block.  Loud music, some good some bad, some live some recorded, is blaring from the bars and clubs along both sides.  Flashing neon signs light up the cobblestones, and hustlers outside the doors are shouting enticements to attract foot traffic into their establishments.  The people promenading down the street are an even mix of tourists, millennials and vagrants.

 

Mathew Street draws the curious crowds for one reason.  It was the home of the Cavern Club where the Beatles played 292 times, usually in eight hour shifts, before and after their various gigs in Hamburg.  It was in the Cavern Club where Brian Epstein first witnessed a Beatles performance shortly before becoming the band's manager.  Although the original Cavern Club was brought down by a wrecking ball in 1973, a newer version of the Cavern Club was erected just a few feet from the original.  The Cavern Club currently features live music every day starting at 11:00 in the morning.  Most of the artists are cover bands and tribute bands whose repertoire is heavy on Merseybeat oldies.

 

Across the street from the Cavern Club is the Cavern Pub, a small but popular restaurant replete with photos from Mathew Street's heyday.  Mary and I had temporarily planned the Pub as a dinner destination, but the general vibe of the surroundings causes us to go to Plan B.  On the way down John Street to Mathew we had passed a Turkish restaurant called Shiraz, and they were doing a land office business, especially for a Wednesday night.  We decide to give that place a try, and luckily grab the only unoccupied table.  Shiraz is only the second Turkish restaurant I've been in -- the other was in New York City -- but we know immediately from the aroma that we've made the right decision.  Every plate we see coming out of the busy kitchen looks divine.  Kebobs, curries, adana, chops, barbecue, etc.  The patrons seated on either side of our table are scarfing down their feasts like they haven't eaten all week.  It is tough to pick something off the tempting menu, so I wisely select the Shiraz Special Mixed Grill, described as follows:  "If you are finding it hard to choose, why not try this generous mixture of adana, lamb, chicken and lamb chop?"  Rice and a salad accompany the meal.  I enjoy every morsel.  My rationale for practically licking the plate clean is that we will have a twenty minute walk back to our hotel.  [For an additional tidbit on adana, see Note # 3 at the end of this post.] 

 

Thursday Afternoon.  The first thing to know about seeing Liverpool's Beatle landmarks is that, despite the fact that there are any number of tours which will take people around to all the sights, there is only one tour through which you can actually gain entry to Mendips and 20 Forthlin Road, the childhood homes of John Lennon and Paul McCartney, respectively.  That tour is operated by the National Trust, which owns those two residences.  Because the National Trust tour presents that unique opportunity, I took no chances, making our reservation back in July, two months before our trip.

 

Mendips was the home of Lennon's Aunt Mimi, the eldest of five sisters including John's mother, Julia.  It was Mimi who, with her husband George, raised John, mostly because Julia was too immature for the responsibility.  The two story home is one of the building's two units, and is located on busy Menlove Avenue in the Woolten neighborhood.  There are only two other couples who have joined us on the tour.  A man named Colin, a National Trust custodian, is our tour guide throughout the house, and is extremely knowledgeable about the Beatles' history.  The narrative he tells is almost as much about Mimi as John.  She ran a tight ship and kept things immaculate.   She constantly prodded John to take his school work seriously, alas, a losing battle.  She was worried about the friends John invited to the house, including Paul and George, requiring them to use the side entrance.  Mimi paid particular attention to visitors' clothing, hair styles and accents, always aware of which part of town they lived in.  She did not want John influenced by the wrong people.  Mimi grudgingly allowed the Quarrymen, precursor to the Beatles, to practice at Mendips occasionally, but her historic admonition to her nephew lives on: "Playing a guitar is fine, John Lennon, but you'll never make a living at it."

 

Colin takes us around the four rooms of the first floor, with many nuggets on Lennon's upbringing making his presentation riveting.  Then he allows us to explore the second floor, advising that we not all go at once due to space limitations.  He also suggests that we might want to try singing in the front interior porch, just as John and Paul liked to do because of the echo chamber effect.  While the other two couples hurry upstairs, Mary and I detour into the porch where I sing I Call Your Name to her.  It is one of the few songs the Lennon-McCartney duo actually wrote at Mendips.  Although it's not a weepy song, Mary starts tearing up about half-way through.  Guess I must sound pretty bad.  [For an additional tidbit on Mendips, see Note # 4 at the end of this post.]

 

The minibus comes by shortly thereafter to transport us to 20 Forthlin Road in Allerton.  As the crow flies it is only about a mile from Mendips.  In fact, John and Paul used to sneak across Allerton Park Golf Course as a shortcut between their houses.  The differences between 20 Forthlin and Mendips are very apparent.  Other than London, Liverpool was bombed more frequently during World War II than any other English city, no doubt because it functioned as a primary seaport.  As a result, there are many neighborhoods in the city, Allerton among them, where the government oversaw the hasty construction of residential housing to accommodate the returning vets and their soon-to-be expanding families.The multi-unit buildings along Forthlin Road reflect that period in history.  Unlike Mendips, which is one of only two units in a semi-detached house, Number 20 is one of about a dozen two-story units in its nondescript building.  The entire length of the street is lined with such uninspiring structures.  Construction speed was more important than creature comforts.

 

Our hostess there is Colin's wife, Sylvia, who does an excellent job illustrating what life was like there for Paul and his younger brother, Michael.  In their teen years they were raised by their father, Jim, after the unexpected passing of the mother when Paul was only fourteen.  (The song Let It Be is written for said Mother Mary.)  Jim did not make much money floating among low level positions, but as a part-time musician he encouraged his sons to take up various instruments.  (Contrast that with Mendips, where John's Aunt Mimi looked upon music as an intrusion upon her piece and quiet!) In the living room at Forthlin sits an upright piano, the same kind on which Paul composed many songs even before he met the Quarrymen in 1956.

 

The National Trust has not attempted to "spiff up" the house.  For example, the appliances, furniture, wallpaper and bedding are all of the same vintage as what the McCartneys owned in the fifties.  One immediate impression is how small each of the rooms is at Forthlin.  Paul and his brother shared a tiny bedroom for most of their childhood.  Sylvia pointed out a drainpipe on which the McCartney boys used to shimmy to and from the second floor bathroom window when they needed to be undetected by their father.

 

One feeling I came away with from both house visits is that it was awesome to actually be standing in the same rooms where Lennon and McCartney collaborated dozens if not hundreds of times to make the sound track of my late teen years.

 

The minibus drops us off where we began, Albert Dock.  From the perspective of yesterday's ferry, Albert Dock appeared as a drab series of red stone buildings, what you might expect from the converted warehouses that they are.  But approaching Albert Dock from the city side we quickly see a much more interesting facility.  An interior harbor, about the size of six football fields where longboats of different solid colors are picturesquely anchored, provides a haven from the swiftly flowing Mersey.  Along two sides of the harbor reside several shops, studios, restaurants and small offices.  Two highly recommended tourist attractions which we did not have time to visit, the Merseyside Maritime Museum (on the third floor of which is the International Slavery Museum) and the Tate Liverpool modern art gallery, also reside at Albert Dock.

 

After a delicious lunch of chicken curry and a deli board at Smugglers' Cove, Momma Cuan and I continue our Beatles bonanza inside The Beatles Story, the world's only permanent  Beatles-themed museum.  I am thoroughly impressed with the Beatles Story, which I would rank in my top ten -- maybe even top five -- museums I've patronized.  It's the kind of place that is much better than it probably needs to be.  The museum, which is housed inside Albert Dock, provides a wealth of information artfully and cleverly displayed on easy-to-read displays, murals, plaques, paintings, dioramas and picture captions.  The emphasis is on the Beatles' formation and early years, which meshes with my preference for the group's pre-White Album catalogue.  That is not to say that the last years of the band, and even their astonishing solo careers, are not covered as well.  Besides the expected biographical information on John, Paul, George and Ringo, we get to learn about many of the other people who were instrumental in their meteoric rise: manager Brian Epstein; producer George Martin, sometimes lovingly called "The Fifth Beatle"; John's first skiffle band, the Quarrymen; original drummer Pete Best, whose mother, Mona, owned the Casbah Coffee Club, where the Quarrymen and Beatles performed numerous times; the Beatles' first manager, Alan Williams, who admits he is "the man who gave away the Beatles"; Bill Harry, the founder and principal writer for Liverpool's most important music publication, Mersey Beat magazine; and Stuart Sutcliffe, the Beatles first bassist and Lennon's best friend who left the band before they hit it big so he could pursue his first two loves, art and Astrid Kirchherr.

 

One of the displays located in a separate room of The Beatles Story is a makeshift stage set up to look like the Beatles' concert arrangement, complete with guitars, a drum kit with the band's name on the bass, speakers and monitors.  Mary is several minutes ahead of me going through the museum, so she waits in the room with the stage.  When I finally catch up, she suggests that I get behind the drums for a quick photo op.  Good idea!  Ninety seconds later, a pseudo security guard comes in to tell us that I've set off a silent alarm.  He is nice enough about it, but we have to move on.  Luckily, Mary has snapped the pic before his arrival.  The bottom line: The old guy, who fifty-plus years ago used to drum to Beatles songs in his Minot basement, once again got to pretend he was Ringo, if only for the briefest of moments.

 

*****

 

Note # 1:  An additional tidbit about the song Ferry Cross The Mersey by Gerry And The Pacemakers.  The song was written by Gerry Marsden and was the second biggest hit (# 6 on the Billboard charts) for the band, trailing only their first US single, Don't Let The Sun Catch You Crying (# 4).  There has been some discussion about the exact title of the song, with three different possibilities.  The title as it appeared on the 45 rpm label was Ferry Cross The Mersey.  Those are the four words clearly sung by lead vocalist Gerry in the song.  However, there were some pressings of the vinyl label put out by Columbia Records which read Ferry 'Cross The Mersey.  Those issues with the apostrophe are collectors' items, as they quickly went out of circulation.  Finally, some commentators have espoused the theory that there should be a punctuation mark such as a comma, a period or an exclamation point after the word "Ferry" because, according to them, the song is a command, or at least a strong suggestion.  The singer is urging the listener to get on the boat, pleading, "Ferry!  Cross the Mersey."

 

Note # 2:  The Three Graces are the Royal Liver Building, the Cunard Building and the Port Of Liverpool Building, all adjacent to each other at Pier Head.  On the top of the Royal Liver Building sit two enormous sculptures called liver (pronounced LEE-ver) birds.  The birds are Liverpool's most famous landmarks, easily seen not only from the Mersey but also from portions of Liverpool's town center.  The legend goes that if the birds ever fly away, Liverpool will cease to exist.  Good thing the sculptures are tied down to the roof with many cables, a necessity brought about by the severe winds which frequent the area.

 

There are two mildly amusing stories which relate to the birds.  One is that the original intent of the sculptures was to incorporate parts of the city's seal which references King John, the royal who granted Liverpool its charter in 1207.  King John used an eagle for his own official seal, a nod to his patron, St. John The Evangelist, whose symbol was an eagle.  However, that idea was miscommunicated to the sculpture's designer, Carl Bartels, who fashioned the birds to look like cormorants instead of eagles.  Oops!

 

Secondly, the female bird on the river side of the building is viewing the water, while her male companion is facing the city.  According to folklore, the female is on the lookout for boats, while the male is searching for a pub.

 

Note # 3:  The restaurant Shiraz describes adana as "a renowned dish from southern Turkey which is made from chopped prime lamb combined with peppers, flat leaf parsley and flaked chili."  The dish gets its name from a major Turkish city close to the Mediterranean coast.

 

Note # 4:  The Beatles break-up in 1970 has been attributed to several factors: the 1967 death of Brian Epstein, who had the ability to smooth over the band's internal rough patches; the clashing egos and divergent musical directions of Lennon and McCartney; the frustration of Harrison whose music in large part was kept off Beatles albums; and, the ongoing struggle for perfection which increased every year following the band's 1966 conversion from a touring band to a studio band.  But the number one culprit, if you will, which most Beatlemaniacs blame for the quartet's demise was the omnipresence, with Lennon's blessing, of Yoko Ono.  Pages could be written in support of that claim, but in a nutshell I will offer one sentence.  When Yoko not only showed up for Abbey Road Studio rehearsals and recordings but also rendered musical advice appreciated only by Lennon, that was the last straw.

 

So, Yoko was the bad guy.  Okay.  But before we cast too many stones, consider this.  Were it not for Yoko, Mendips probably would not be available to generations of Beatles fans to explore.  John lived there from age five until age twenty-two (mid-1963).  After the Beatles became worldwide sensations, he bought his Aunt Mimi a home in the country so she could escape his annoying fans.  Between 1965 and 2000, Mendips came under the ownership of several people, one of whom agreed to having a film production crew drastically change the interior floor plan to make way for their equipment.  This remodeling convinced the National Trust not to acquire Mendips like it had acquired McCartney's preserved home on Forthlin Road.  Two years later, Yoko came to the rescue by purchasing Mendips and immediately donating it to the National Trust.  The home was "un-remodeled" to restore it to the way it looked when young John lived there.

 

According to our guide Colin, the only string attached to Yoko's gift was the stipulation that the Trust not permit visitors to take photographs inside the building.  Security and protection of intellectual property are cited as the reasons.  Colin pointed out that Yoko's desire is for fans to consider Mendips part of John's personal history, separate from the Beatles.  There is no Beatles memorabilia, per se, within.        

Movie Review: "The Girl On The Train"

"The Girl On The Train": C+.  Other than realizing that The Girl On The Train is based on the best selling novel by Paula Hawkins, I went in cold to see the movie of the same title.  I had not read the book nor even a snippet of any movie review.  What I expected, something similar to Agatha Christie's Murder On The Orient Express, proved to be way off.

The story centers around three very imperfect women.  Their imperfections are what drives the plot.  Rachel (Emily Blunt) is the girl on the train, and the story's first narrator.  Unlike Orient Express, she is not traveling across the continent; in fact, it's a commuter train.  As the train slowly passes by the back yard of a beautiful suburban home with an ocean view, she tells us it's her favorite house.  She even knows the street address.  How weird!  It's not until later we learn why she has that info.  Much of the story telling follows suit, waiting until a later point to explain head-scratching actions and dialogue.  That is not to say all such puzzles are explained.  Rachel is an alcoholic and thus, as a narrator, not all of her recollections of events are made clear for the viewer.  She can fairly be labeled a stalker.

 

Megan (Haley Bennett) is the young nanny whose face could launch several thousand ships.  (I wonder, has Ben Affleck has seen this film?)  Her employers are Tom (Justin Theroux) and Anna (Rebecca Ferguson) who have an infant daughter, Evie.  Megan appears trustworthy until she surprises Anna with the announcement that she is quitting immediately.  She justifies her inconsiderate behavior by pointing out to Anna that the young mother does not have a job, the implication being that Anna does not really need a nanny.  Megan goes to a psychiatrist, Dr. Kamal Abdic (Edgar Ramirez), to whom she admits that she is incapable of telling the truth, even to him.  She also reveals that the first thing she does when she gets off work is to jump in the shower "to wash off the baby smell."  Megan is a liar with mental health issues, and can fairly be labeled a nymphomaniac.

 

The character of Anna is underdeveloped, but we do know that she is "the other woman" who is now married to Rachel's ex, Tom, and lives with him in Rachel's wonderful old house.  Anna may appear angelic, but don't let that sweet countenance fool you.  She is a conniver and a manipulator.  Granted, she is a victim, but she might fairly be labeled as an enabler.

 

The men in this story are no bargain either, each of them devoid of moral fiber.  The psychiatrist lacks will power and makes stupid, career-jeopardizing decisions, while the other two lead males are abusers to different degrees.  It is accurate to write that, with exceptions that you can count on one hand, all of the characters are unlikable.  With an ensemble like that, the story itself better be good.  Alas, it isn't.

 

To use a low-hanging metaphor, the tale is slow to leave the station.  After the first half hour we wonder if it will ever kick into high gear.  The herky-jerky time line, with an abundance of flashbacks, contributes to this drag effect.  How sad is it that Rachel feels compelled to ride the train time after time and gape at her old stomping grounds?  She is stuck in neutral, mostly because her alcoholism and probable depression hold her captive.  Blunt's portrayal of the wounded Rachel, sometimes lucid but often downcast, confused and memory-challenged, is the main reason to watch this film.

 

The present day catalyst occurs when Rachel, through the train's window, spots Megan standing on her home's ocean-side balcony, passionately kissing a man who Rachel knows is not Megan's husband, Scott (Luke Evans).  Rachel is certain of what she's witnessed because, on several prior rail journeys past Megan's home, Rachel has become almost fixated by what she's deemed to be a couple (Megan and Scott) in the throes of wedded bliss.  Rather than let it ride -- no pun intended -- Rachel decides to right a wrong.  This, even though Rachel herself has plenty of her own problems which she'd be better off addressing.

 

At least three of the six main characters do something so far fetched that I almost want to skim through Hawkins' novel to determine whom to blame, her or script writer Erin Wilson.  I am guessing Hawkins is the culprit because those unlikely actions are needed to advance the plot.  One example: Character A, knowing s/he is under twenty-four hour surveillance by the police in connection with a missing persons case, goes over to the residence of Character B, also under police suspicion, and spends the night.  Yeah, right.

 

I am usually a sucker for train stories, but to label this film as such would be a misnomer. Rachel spends as much time walking around Blenheim Road as she does on the train.  My fondness for train stories remains intact.

Table Setters & Big Knockers

The Cubs like to stay in the cellar where it's nice and cool.

- Serafino Porcaro, summer of '57

 

 

I grew up in the fifties as a Milwaukee Braves fan, but I was surrounded by friends and relatives who were die hard Chicago Cubs fans.  One of them was my maternal grandfather, whom I've quoted above.  The 2016 World Series starts tonight, and the opponents are the Cubs and the Cleveland Indians.  The Tribe fans have only had to endure a dry spell of nineteen years since their team last appeared in the Series.  But Cleveland has not won a Series since 1948.  That is peanuts compared to the North Siders' futility.  The Cubs have not participated in the World Series since 1945, and have not been world champions since 1908, eight years before the Cubs played their first game in what is now called Wrigley Field.  It's amazing enough to realize that the Cubs have come this far, but what's equally improbable is that they are favored by most of the gurus to capture the title.

 

The World Series is the biggest stage for the world's best sport.  Given the history leading up to tonight, I am pumped.  To help set the mood and pass the time while waiting for the first pitch, I have written this post.

 

***

 

There are two frequently cited individual statistics in sports which I find particularly opaque and annoying.  One is a quarterback's rating (QBR).  In the NFL, a QBR can range from 0 to 158.3.  The formula used to determine the exact number can only be understood by two groups of people, Mensa members and graduate students at Cal Poly.  QBR is not something you can calculate in less than seven minutes, and if the game is in progress your data is probably obsolete by the time you figure out the answer.  QBRs are only useful when making quick comparisons.  For example, if Tom Brady's QBR is 141.2 and Aaron Rodgers' is 126.9, I can surmise that Brady is the better QB, at least at that moment.  But don't ask me how those two figures were arrived at.  I prefer a measurement that's much more digestible such as yards per pass attempt.  Just give me those two relevant starting numbers (passing yardage and pass attempts) and I can calculate that in seconds while simultaneously downing an Oktoberfest.

 

In baseball I've decided that W.A.R. is not the answer.  A player's W.A.R. number, which stands for "wins against replacement," purports to tell us how many extra wins that individual provides his team in comparison to some make believe replacement player who would assume his position.  The concept and goal of such an idea are noble, but the execution is a combination of pie in the sky poppycock, what-ifs and guesswork.

 

I caution you not to look up either the QBR formula or the W.A.R. formula unless you've got a bottle of Excedrin handy.

 

Despite my misgivings about W.A.R., admittedly the young breed of new baseball executives are all about sabermetrics, of which W.A.R. is a popular component.  The Twins' recently-hired executive vice president, Ivy League educated thirty-three year old Derek Falvey, is a sabermetrician.  Sabermetrics have been in the forefront of statistical analysis at least since noted author Michael Lewis published Moneyball: The Art Of Winning An Unfair Game in 2003.  The non-fiction book featured Oakland Athletics general manager Billy Beane.  Beane helped make his small market team playoff qualifiers for several years despite a very low budget.  His use of sabermetrics in analyzing both major league and minor league players was the main ingredient to his success.

 

I maintain that the most useful individual statistic in measuring a non-pitcher's offensive value to a team is not his W.A.R.  Rather, it is his OPS.  If you watched the baseball playoffs for the last three weeks, you might have observed that OPS is a statistic which both television networks, TBS and FS1, flashed on the screen.  So, what is OPS?  It is an acronym for the sum of  On-base percentage Plus Slugging percentage.  On-base percentage tells the media and the fans how good the player is at getting on base, either by means of a base hit, a walk or being hit by a pitch (HBP).  If a player reaches base through a fielder's choice (e.g., he hits the ball to a fielder who throws to a base other than first for a force out) or an error, the batter does not get credit.  Similarly, he does not get credit for reaching first base if the ball gets by the catcher on a strikeout.  To calculate on-base percentage, divide the sum of the number of base hits plus walks plus HBP by the number of times that batter has come to the plate, aka "plate appearances." Not to complicate things, but successful sacrifice bunts do not count against the batter as plate appearances, but sacrifice flies do.

 

The players who have high on-base percentages are good table setters.  They would make Billy Beane's A List.  When a batter reaches base, new pressures are placed not only on the pitcher but on the other fielders as well.  The stage is set for subsequent action.  But a team needs more than those table setters; it needs guys who can finish the job by driving in those runners.  That's where slugging percentage comes in.

 

Slugging percentage is easier to calculate than on-base percentage, because it is very similar to batting average.  When you are determining a player's batting average, you divide the number of base hits by the number of at bats.  All extra base hits count the same as singles; either the batter got a base hit or he didn't.  By comparison, when you are determining a player's slugging percentage, a double counts as two hits, a triple counts as three hits, and a home run counts as four hits.  Thus, to calculate a slugging percentage, divide total bases by the number of at bats.  Did you notice that a player could have a slugging percentage greater than 1.0?  Some all-stars do.

 

The players who have high slugging percentages are sometimes called "the big knockers."  Their job is to drive in the baserunners, i.e., the table setters.  Baseball is a game that offensively usually relies upon stringing together a bunch of base hits.  The more extra base hits a team gets, the shorter that "string" has to be.  Former Baltimore Orioles manager, the highly quotable Earl Weaver, once said, "My favorite play in baseball is a three run homer."  Playoff caliber teams like the Cubs and Indians almost always have a good combination of table setters and big knockers. Consider these rankings:

 

The Cleveland Indians' on-base percentage, excluding pitchers, is .329 (ranked 4th in the fifteen team American League), their slugging percentage is .430 (ranked 5th) and OPS is .759 (ranked 4th).  Their top OPS guys with at least 100 plate appearances are Tyler Naquin (.886), Carlos Santana (.865), Jose Ramirez (.825), Jason Kipnis (.811) and Mike Napoli (.800).

 

The Chicago Cubs' on-base percentage, excluding pitchers, is .352 (ranked 1st in the fifteen team National League), their slugging percentage is .444 (ranked 4th) and OPS is .796 (ranked second).  Their top OPS guys with at least 100 plate appearances are Kris Bryant (.939), Anthony Rizzo (.928), Willson Contreras (.845), Dexter Fowler (.840) and Ben Zobrist (.831).

 

As you can see, the Cubbies have more fire power than the Indians, both in terms of getting on base and smashing extra base hits.  The only ways the underdog Indians can compensate is by out-pitching the Cubs and by playing nearly flawless defense.  Pitching is arguably the most important ingredient, but the Cleveland starting rotation has been decimated by injuries.  If the Indians can get the Series to Game 6, it will be a moral victory.

First Annual Columbus Day Movie Guide

Ever since we were kids, my sister, Michele, and I have always been quite familiar with the real Columbus Day.  There was no such thing as Explorers' Day.  Leif who?  There was no phony mid-October federal holiday, which now always conveniently falls on a Monday for the purpose of creating the coveted three day weekend.  Nope.  Columbus Day, the only Columbus Day, was always October 12.  How did we know that?  Because October 12 was our father's birthday.  The Marquis Donald (doe-NALD) Joseph (joe-SEEF) Gerard (czhe-RARD) de la Periolat (perio-LAH)!  I think about The Marquis -- one of the coolest dude's I've ever known and the biggest influence on my life -- almost every day, and without fail on Columbus Day.  He would have been 98 years old today.

My dad always maintained a wacky sense of humor, sometimes calculated and other times unintentional.  He was not afraid to divulge a story or admit a shortcoming on himself.  Such an admission which came into play on several occasions had to do with his voracious appetite for reading.  In his later years he was especially fond of western paperback books by Louis l' Amour and Zane Grey, who collectively wrote more than 175 novels, plus countless short stories.  Other than fishing, reading these stories was the old man's favorite pastime.  There were familiar, repeated themes: a lonesome cowpoke riding his faithful horse across the high desert plains; a hero rescuing a lovely maiden from the black hatted mean guys who were trying to steal her cattle; the reformed tough hombre who used to run afoul of the law but was trying to turn over a new leaf; the quick draw who was the town's only hope to keep a murderous gang from running rampant; a friend of the Indians who helped them battle exploitation at the hands of dishonest white men.

Because of the similarities among the books, my dad often unintentionally read the same book more than once.  Sometimes he'd get about two-thirds of the way through, or possibly all the way through, before realizing he'd already completed it months, or even mere weeks, before.  I always thought it was admirable that he'd tell us of his mistake, instead of simply shelving the book or returning it to the library.  We'd get a large collective laugh out of his blunder.  [True Confession, following in my father's footsteps:  The same thing happened to me with Scott Turow's 1987 legal thriller, Presumed Innocent.  There is a unique plot twist which occurs in the last quarter of the novel.  It wasn't until I reached that point that I realized I'd read it before!]
 

I believe I have now reached the point with my movie viewing where I find myself in a predicament not all that different from the Marquis'.  When I see a movie scheduled on the on-screen guide, I am not always sure whether or not I've seen it before.  It wouldn't be the end of the world if I unwittingly watched a film twice.  Some films almost command multiple viewings.  But, there are so many good movies available that, unless I make a conscious decision to do otherwise, I'd prefer not to re-watch one at the expense of a chance to view a different, unseen one.  With that in mind I sent my crack research team into the vault to make a list of the movies I have seen since my September 2007 retirement.
 

As I explained in my introductory post on December 6, 2011, I started blogging as kind of a "next step" beyond writing movie reviews which I had been e-mailing to my kids.  The earliest e-mailed movie review my research team can find goes back to November 8, 2007, approximately four years before I started The Quentin Chronicle.  During that four year span, I wrote short reviews of 121 new movies I watched at the theater.  I also drafted six bi-monthly "Cinema Scans," comprised of 54 movies which I watched at the Quentin Estates during calendar year 2011.  (Those bi-monthly Cinema Scans, which contain brief descriptions and grades but not reviews, were the genesis of the nineteen Quarterly Cinema Scans which I have posted here since the inception of this blog.)  Finally, I also e-mailed my kids three annual Movie Ratings Recaps, the first of which was sent January 13, 2009.  (Those MRRs were the genesis of the five MRRs which I have posted here since the inception of this blog.)  When I put together that first MRR in 2009, I included (as a bonus!) grades for 4 other films I had recently watched on TV; this was before I started the Cinema Scan format in 2011.

As you can see, that's a lot of post-retirement/pre-blog movies -- 179, to be exact.  Writing about them has been a blessing and a curse.  The reasons for labeling the writing regimen "a blessing" are fairly obvious, e.g., mind sharpening, a correspondence topic, creating a lasting personal memory of the work of art which many films purport to be, etc.  In some ways it's a curse too because, similar to a jogger who feels guilty if she doesn't get her three miles in at least five days a week, I am disinclined to go to a movie if I have not yet written a review for the last one I attended.  Obviously, when you consider how few people actually read what I write, the feeling of guilt over such a circumstance is part pathetic and part ludicrous.  (Would this kind of guilt trip be present if I hadn't been educated by the good sisters in my youth?  Good question; but, I digress...)

My original intention was to make one alphabetical master list of all the movies I've reviewed and/or graded both pre-blog and on this blog, and post that list today, October 12.  I chose Columbus Day intentionally as a way to pay homage to my dad.  Alas, a recent three week trip to Europe followed by the irresistible temptation to watch a plethora of televised baseball playoff games have derailed full execution of my plans.  But, what I am going to post today is an alphabetical list of the 179 pre-blog movies to which I referred above.  Then, at some future date, perhaps Columbus Day 2017 or 2018, I will put my comprehensive master list together.  After that I'll have no excuse for unintentionally re-watching a movie.  Time is money, to coin a phrase.  Of course, aside from my selfish aforementioned motive, I hope some of you will use the list to select or avoid, as the case may be, movies for your viewing pleasure.

In the interest of time I am only listing the films' titles, usually one actor, and the genres.  With respect to the 121 movies I reviewed, I'll include the date of my related e-mail, preceded by a capital E for "e-mail."  That will give you an idea of their approximate release dates.  With respect to the 54 movies included in the six pre-blog Cinema Scans and the 4 bonus movies added to my initial pre-blog MRR, I'll indicate the year of their release preceded by a capital CS for "cinema scan" or RR for "ratings recap."  Instead of alphabetizing all the movies in one chunk, I have segregated them by my letter grade ranking.  You can refer to my January 12, 2012 post if you have a question about my grading methodology.  Finally (almost), I am sticking the following sentence in here because of my expectation that few people will see it.  If you are registered as a follower of this blog and would like me to send you a copy of any of my e-mailed reviews (due to laziness, a maximum of five), let me know by the end of this calendar year and I will do so.

*****

Movies Graded A:

Bagdad Cafe, Marianne Sagebrecht, dramedy, CS-VI 1988
Dial M For Murder, Ray Milland, crime drama, CS-I 1954
The Kids Are All Right, Annette Bening, drama, E 8-12-10
Kramer vs. Kramer, Dustin Hoffman, drama, CS-I 1979
The Maltese Falcon, Humphrey Bogart, detective noir, CS-VI 1941

Michael Clayton, George Clooney, drama, E 11-8-07
The Miracle, Carroll Baker, drama, CS-V 1959
True Grit, Jeff Bridges, western, E 3-11-11
You've Got Mail, Tom Hanks, rom-com, CS-II 1998 

Movies Graded A-:

Bridge On The River Kwai, Alec Guinness, war drama, CS-I 1957
Crazy Heart, Jeff Bridges, musical drama, E 2-1-10
Doubt, Philip Seymour Hoffman, drama, E 2-26-09
Drive, Ryan Gosling, drama, E 10-28-11

Eastern Promises, Naiomi Watts, drama, E 12-11-07
The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo, Michael Nyqvist, drama, E 8-12-10
Inglorious Basterds, Brad Pitt, war drama, E 11-12-09
Inside Job, financial documentary, E 10-29-10
Juno, Ellen Page, drama, E 1-17-08
The King's Speech, Colin Firth, biopic, E 1-30-11
The Kite Runner, Khalid Abdalla, drama, E 1-3-08
Moneyball, Brad Pitt, biopic, E 10-28-11
Paris, Je T'aime, Juliette Binoche, dramedy, RR 2006
Roman de Gare, Audrey Dana, drama, E 7-16-08
Ship Of Fools, Oskar Werner, drama, CS-VI 1965
A Shot In The Dark, Peter Sellers, comedy, CS-II 1964
Shutter Island, Leonardo Di Caprio, drama, E 3-28-10
Superbad, Michael Cera, comedy, E 12-24-07
Under The Same Moon, Kate del Castillo, drama, E 6-16-08
Win Win, Paul Giamotti, drama, E 4-14-11
The Wrestler, Mickey Rourke, drama, E 1-31-09 

Movies Graded B+:

Appaloosa, Ed Harris, western, E 10-15-08

Before The Devil Knows You're Dead, Philip Seymour Hoffman, drama, E 11-30-07
The Big Heat, Glenn Ford, crime drama, CS-V 1953
The Black Swan, Natalie Portman, drama, E 2-27-11
Bridesmaids, Kristen Wiig, comedy, E 6-13-11
Brute Force, Burt Lancaster, drama, CS-V 1947
Burn After Reading, George Clooney, dramedy, E 9-14-08
Charlie Wilson's War, Tom Hanks, drama, E 1-17-08
Chloe, Julianne Moore, drama, CS-I 2010
Crazy Stupid Love, Steve Carell, comedy, E 9-14-11
Dead Poet's Society, Robin Williams, drama, CS-VI 1989
Definitely Maybe, Ryan Reynolds, rom-com, E 3-12-08
Easy Virtue, Jessica Biel, comedy, E 6-30-09
500 Days Of Summer, Joseph Gordon Levitt, romantic dramedy, E 8-31-09
The Ghost Writer, Ewan McGregor, drama, E 4-29-10
God's Little Acre, Robert Ryan, drama, CS-III 1958
The Goodbye Girl, Richard Dreyfuss, rom-com, CS-III
Good Neighbor Sam, Jack Lemmon, rom-com, CS-IV 1964
Hereafter, Matt Damon, drama, E 10-29-10
The Ides Of March, George Clooney, drama, E 10-28-11
Into Temptation, Jeremy Sisto, drama, E 9-13-09
Jane Eyre, Mia Wasikowska, romantic drama, E 3-31-11
J. Edgar, Leonardo DiCaprio, biopic, E 11-14-11
The Killers, Burt Lancaster, drama, CS-I 1946
Michael Jackson's This Is It, documentary, E 11-12-09
Midnight In Paris, Owen Wilson, dramedy, E 6-29-11
Milk, Sean Penn, biopic, E 12-30-08
The Music Man, Robert Preston, musical, CS-VI
My Week With Marilyn, Eddie Redmayne, biopic, E 12-14-11
No Country For Old Men, Tommy Lee Jones, drama, E 12-11-07
Ocean's Eleven, Frank Sinatra, crime drama, CS-I 1960
Page 1: Inside The New York Times, documentary, E 7-15-11
Pride And Glory, Jon Voight, police drama, E 11-13-08
Robin Hood, Russell Crowe, adventure, E 5-29-10
The Savages, Philip Seymour Hoffman, drama, E 2-1-08
The Secret In Their Eyes, Ricardo Darin, drama, E 5-13-10
Sherlock Holmes, Robert Downey, Jr., detective drama, E 3-28-10
Sherlock Holmes: A Game Of Shadows, Jude Law, E 1-1-12
Slumdog Millionaire, Dev Patel, drama, E 11-29-08
The Social Network, Jesse Eisenberg, biopic, E 10-14-10
Some Came Running, Frank Sinatra, drama, CS-III 1958
Stop-Loss, Ryan Phillippe, war drama, E 4-30-08
Sugar, Algenis Soto, baseball drama, E 5-19-09
The Town, Ben Affleck, drama, E 9-30-10
Transsiberian, Woody Harrelson, drama, E 9-14-08
Unstoppable, Denzel Washington, drama, E 12-14-10
Up, voice of Ed Asner, animated comedy, E 7-28-09
Water For Elephants, Robert Patterson, romantic drama, E 4-28-11 

Movies Graded B:

All The President's Men, Dustin Hoffman, biopic, CS-I 1976
Amelie, Audrey Tautou, comedy, RR 2001
Avatar, animated drama, E 2-14-10
The Big Sleep, Humphrey Bogart, detective noir, CS-VI 1946
Contagion, Matt Damon, drama, E 10-28-11
The Descendants, George Clooney, drama, E 11-29-11
Elegy, Ben Kingsley, drama, E 9-29-08
Fair Game, Naomi Watts, drama, E 11-13-10
Father Of The Bride, Spencer Tracy, comedy, CS-I 1950
The Fighter, Mark Wahlberg, drama, E 1-30-11
Five Easy Pieces, Jack Nicholson, drama, CS-I 1970
Forgetting Sarah Marshall, Jason Segel, rom-com, E 4-30-08
Friends With Benefits, Justin Timberlake, rom-com, E 7-29-11
Frost/Nixon, Frank Langella, biopic, E 12-17-08
Get Smart, Steve Carell, comedy, E 7-1-08
Going My Way, Bing Crosby, drama, CS-I 1944
Gran Torino, Clint Eastwood, drama, E 1-14-09
High Sierra, Humphrey Bogart, drama, CS-VI 1941
The Hurt Locker, Jeremy Renner, war drama, E 2-27-10
In Bruges, Colin Farrell, drama, E 7-30-08
Like Crazy, Felicity Jones, romance, E 11-29-11
Love And Other Drugs, Jake Gyllenhaal, rom-com, E 12-31-10
The Lovely Bones, Saoirse Ronan, drama, E 2-11-10
Morning Glory, Rachel McAdams, comedy, E 11-13-10
My Dog Skip, Diane Lane, drama, CS-1 1999
North To Alaska, John Wayne, western, CS-IV 1960
One Day, Anne Hathaway, romance, E 10-28-11
Please Don't Eat The Daisies, Doris Day, comedy, CS-VI 1960
Revolutionary Road, Leonardo DiCaprio, drama, E 1-31-09
Secret Life Of Bees, Dakota Fanning, drama, E 1-31-09
Seraphine, Yolande Moreau, biopic, E 8-31-09
Seven Days In May, Kirk Douglas, drama, CS-V 1964
Sweet Land, Elizabeth Reaser, drama, CS-II 2005
The Tender Trap, Debbie Reynolds, comedy, CS-VI 1955
The Trip, Steve Coogan, comedy, E 7-15-11
Twenty-seven Dresses, Catherine Heigl, rom-com, E 3-3-08
Two For The Seesaw, Robert Mitchum, drama, CS-V
Valley Of The Dolls, Barbara Parkins, drama, CS-IV 1967 

Movies Graded B-:

The American, George Clooney, drama, E 9-14-10
The Band's Visit, Sasson Gabai, drama, CS-IV 2007
The Blind Side, Sandra Bullock, football drama, E 3-28-10
Bright Star, Abbie Cornish, dramatic romance, E 9-29-09
Cedar Rapids, Ed Helms, dramedy, E 3-11-11
Changeling, Angelina Jolie, drama, E 11-29-08
The Class, Francois Begaudeau, drama, E 2-13-09

Dan In Real Life, Steve Carell, rom-com, E 11-8-07
The Dark Knight, Aaron Eckhart, drama, E 7-30-08
Date Night, Steve Carell, dramedy, E 5-13-10
The Defiant Ones, Tony Curtis, drama, CS-III 1958
The Double Hour, Kseniya Rappoport, drama, E 6-13-11
An Education, Carey Mulligan, drama, E 3-14-10
The Extra Man, Kevin Kline, drama, CS-II 2010
Flash Of Genius, Greg Kinnear, biopic, CS-III
Get Low, Robert Duvall, dramedy, E 11-30-10
The Girl Who Played With Fire, Noomi Rapace, drama, E 8-12-10
The Group, Joanna Pettet, drama, CS-VI 1966
Knight And Day, Tom Cruise, adventure, E 8-30-10
Knute Rockne All American, Pat O'Brien, biopic, CS-VI 1940

Lust, Caution, Tang Wei, spy/war, E 11-8-07
Mamma Mia!, Meryl Streep, musical, E 9-14-08
Miracle At St. Anna, Derek Luke, war drama, E 11-29-08
The Mouse That Roared, Peter Sellers, comedy, CS-IV 1959
Nowhere Boy, Aaron Taylor-Johnson, biopic, CS-I 2009
The Outlaw Josie Wales, Clint Eastwood, western, CS-II 1976
Pearl Harbor, Ben Affleck, war romance, CS-VI
Rachel Getting Married, Anne Hathaway, drama, E 10-31-08
Roman Holiday, Audrey Hepburn, romance, CS-III 1953
Slap Shot, Paul Newman, comedy, CS-II 1977
Up In The Air, George Clooney, drama, E 1-12-10
Valkyrie, Tom Cruise, war drama, E 1-14-09
Vincere, Giovanna Mezzogiorno, wartime biopic, E 4-29-10
Winter's Bone, Jennifer Lawrence, drama, E 7-30-10 

Movies Graded C+:

Atonement, Keira Knightley, drama, E 12-24-07
Certified Copy, Juliette Binoche, drama, E 4-28-11
Dr. No, Sean Connery, adventure, RR 1962 
Footloose, Julianne Hough, rom-com, E 11-14-11
Fort Apache, Henry Fonda, western, CS-V 1948
The Girl From Monaco, Fabrice Luchini, dramedy, E 7-28-09
Gone Baby Gone, Michelle Monaghan, police drama, E 1-3-08
Last Chance Harvey, Emma Thompson, rom-com, E 1-31-09
Melancholia, Kirsten Dunst, apocalyptic drama, E 1-1-12
Nights In Rodanthe, Diane Lane, drama, E 10-15-08
Ondine, Colin Farrell, romantic drama, CS-I 2010
The Postman Always Rings Twice, John Garfield, drama, CS-IV 1946
The Searchers, John Wayne, western, CS-VI 1956
Suspicion, Irene Dunn, drama, CS-VI 1941
What Happens In Vegas, Cameron Diaz, rom-com, E 5-15-08 

Movies Graded C:

Australia, Hugh Jackson, drama, E 12-17-08
Clash Of The Titans, Sam Worthington, mythological adventure, E 6-16-10
A Fistful Of Dollars, Clint Eastwood, western, RR 1964
Inception, Leonardo DiCaprio, drama, E 7-30-10

The Mist, Marcia Gay Harden, horror, E 11-30-07
Mister Roberts, Henry Fonda, war drama, CS-III 1955
Mr. Smith Goes To Washington, Jimmy Stewart, drama, 1939
Public Enemies, Johnny Depp, drama, E 8-31-09
Nick And Norah's Infinite Play List, Kat Dennings, teen romance, E 10-31-08
Whatever Happened To Baby Jane?, Bette Davis, drama, CS-VI 1962
The White Ribbon, Christian Friedel, drama, E 2-1-10 

Movies Graded C-:

The Reader, Kate Winslet, drama, E 1-14-09 

Movies Graded D:

Vantage Point, Matthew Fox, drama, E 3-12-08 

Movies Graded D-:

Ghosts Of Girlfriends Past, McConaughey, rom-com, E 5-19-09 

Movies Graded F:

None    

Quarterly Cinema Scan - Volume XXV

The scripts of more than twenty-five movies have either been written by Neil Simon or are based on one of his plays.  The beloved, prolific eighty-nine year old New Yorker has a keen awareness of what makes audiences laugh, mostly by finding humor in common people or in situations to which the average film patron can personally relate.  His critics might justifiably claim that his work is either hit or miss, but when he connects it's at least an extra base hit if not a home run.

One such home run is his famous 1965 play, The Odd Couple, for which Simon won the coveted Tony Award.  Three years later Simon turned his script into a screenplay for the film comedy of the same title, starring Walter Matthau as the lovable slob Oscar Madison and Jack Lemmon as his neat freak friend and boarder, Felix Unger.  Felix is on the verge of falling apart when his wife dumps him, so he turns to Oscar for temporary shelter in the latter's grossly unkempt apartment.  It doesn't take long for Oscar to regret his generosity.  Perhaps Simon's personal life, which includes five marriages to four different women, gives him the unique perspective which helped him create Felix's character.  Simon was nominated for an Academy Award for the adaptation of his own work.  In fact, Simon has been nominated for more Tony Awards and Oscars, combined, than any other writer.  He has also won the Pulitzer prize for his 1991 play, Lost In Yonkers.

 

In addition to The Odd Couple, which is on the list below, you might also want to check out The Goodbye Girl, another romantic comedy written by Simon and starring his own then-wife, Marsha Mason.  I gave this 1977 film a pre-blog grade of B+.  As a bonus, you'll get to hear the great title song by David Gates, who is mostly famous as the lead man in the band Bread.

 

Here are the films I watched on the idiot lantern during the third quarter of 2016.

 

1.  Alice Doesn't Live Here Anymore  (1974 drama; When Ellyn Burstyn's unloving husband dies, she packs up her meager possessions and young son to head west in pursuit of her long-delayed singing career.)  A-

 

2. All About Eve (1950 drama; Ann Baxter is enamored with older theater actress Betty Davis, but is the young aspirant overstepping her bounds as she becomes more involved in the veteran's off-stage life?)  B+

 

3. Braveheart (1995 war drama; Mel Gibson is William Wallace, the heroic thirteenth century Scottish warrior who battled English kings and some of his own country's traitorous noblemen to win independence for his people, all the time inspired by the memory of his wife, Catherine McCormack.)  A-

 

4. Eye In The Sky  (2015 war drama; military officer Helen Muren is itching to order a drone strike on a building in Kenya where two of the most wanted Al-Shabaab leaders are unsuspectingly located, but a little girl selling bread right outside the target causes ethical and tactical problems.)  B-

 

5. The Life And Times Of Judge Roy Bean (1972 western comedy; Paul Newman is an outlaw who appoints himself as judge in a tumble weed west Texas desert oasis, and presides over the town's growth while living with Mexican Victoria Principal and pining after a celebrity he's never met, Ava Gardner.) B

 

6. The Odd Couple (1968 comedy; Walter Matthau is a slovenly divorced sports writer who lets recently separated Jack Lemmon, a neat freak nerd, rent a room in his spacious Manhattan apartment, thus putting their friendship at risk.)  A-

 

7. The Taking Of Pelham One Two Three (1974 drama; NYC transit officer Walter Matthau negotiates by phone with bad guy Robert Shaw who, along with three accomplices, has highjacked a subway and is holding a carful of passengers hostage.) B+

 

8. The Teahouse Of The August Moon (1956 comedy; In post WWII Okinawa, pompously funny Colonel Paul Ford assigns local interpreter Marlon Brando to accompany meek Captain Glenn Ford to a remote village on the island, where the mission is to assimilate the villagers to American ways.)  C