Three months after graduating from college in 1969, I was teaching the
twenty-seven member sixth grade class at Most Holy Trinity School. I
was still twenty-one years old, and my students were, for the most part,
eleven. That group has always held a special place in my heart because
they were my first class. I recently found out the sad news that one
of "my kids," Evan Bower, died unexpectedly at age 57 on July 31. Evan
lived most of his adult life in Colorado with his wife and son. He
worked as a trouble shooter for a computer company, which sent him on
projects all over the country. To my knowledge, Evan is the only
student from that cherished class to have passed away.
A
celebration of Evan's life was held two weekends ago at the
Gearty-Delmore funeral chapel. The "ceremony" was hosted by Evan's
twin, Kevin, who was also in that sixth grade class. Most of Evan's
five siblings spoke, recalling incidents especially from their young
lives growing up together on France Avenue in St. Louis Park. The
stories were lighthearted and heartfelt, and laughter filled the small
room several times. Many of the siblings affectionately referred to their
departed brother as "Easy Ev," a fitting nickname given his laid back
personality. After the brothers and sisters spoke, Kevin invited any of those
present to share a story or a memory about Evan. One person, who I
believe was their neighbor, spoke briefly and haltingly. Afterwards,
notwithstanding Kevin's repeated invitation, it did not appear that
anyone else was going to step forward.
I did
not go to the service intending to speak, but I did have a story in mind
which I thought folks might enjoy hearing. After waiting for what
seemed like thirty or forty seconds, I put up my paw, Kevin smiled and
told me I had the floor. This is the little story I told.
***
I
was Evan and Kevin's sixth grade teacher during the 1969-70 school
year. Having just finished college, I was only ten years older than my
students and this was my first class. The principal who hired me,
Sister Ruth, thought a first year teacher like me could use some advice,
so she offered these two recommendations before the first day of
school. First, establish your rules from Day One, and be strict in
enforcing them. Then, as the school year goes by, if your good judgment
tells you that you can relax the rules a little, go ahead and do so
incrementally. But starting out leniently, thinking you can get tougher
if need be, is not a good strategy.
Her second
pearl of wisdom was this: Don't play favorites. It is a long school
year and you will have twenty-seven students. On most days during the
course of the year there will be something that either happens or
doesn't happen which, due to human nature, will make you want to treat
certain students either more favorably or less favorably than most of
their classmates. That is a bad policy, and don't think the kids won't
notice. You must deal with all of your students even-handedly,
regardless of their academic achievement, behavior, attitude, or
what-have-you.
Sister Ruth's advice -- warnings
might be a better word -- made perfect sense to me, and I did my best
to adhere to them. My job was to get these kids ready for junior high.
I knew a rookie teacher would not have all the answers, so I welcomed
this guidance from my veteran principal.
It was
common in those days for a lot of the kids to hang around after school
and have, more or less, a bull session right there in the classroom.
One of the hot topics that fall and winter was the phenomenal season the
Minnesota Vikings were having. The Vikes ended the regular season with
a record of 12-2, and their first playoff game was scheduled to be
played in old Metropolitan Stadium, with a seating capacity of only
47,900. It would be the first time in their young history they'd ever
hosted a playoff game. The opponent would be the Los Angeles Rams, and
many fans were eager to see how those softies from tropical southern
California would fare in the brutal cold of Minnesota. The home games
were not televised locally due to the seventy-five mile radius blackout
rule imposed by the NFL. The demand for tickets was so high that the
team could easily have sold out a stadium nearly twice the size of The
Met.
On the second-to-last school day before
Christmas vacation, and a few days before that playoff game, Evan and
Kevin were in a large group congregated around my desk after school, and
the discussion turned to Christmas presents. The kids were telling me
what they bought for their family members, and what they hoped to
receive. The twins told me that their father worked for Triple A, and
if I wanted anything from there they could get it for me as a present. I
figured they were talking about something like a state highway map, a
key chain, or perhaps a window decal. I jokingly replied, "Okay, how
'bout two tickets on the fifty for the Rams game?" Everyone laughed and
the gabfest continued.
The next morning I
arrived in my classroom about fifteen minutes before the bell. Eight or
nine students, including the Bower boys, were already there. On top of
my desk was a business envelope with the Triple A logo in the corner.
In the middle of the envelope the following was handwritten: "Mister P,
2 on the 50." It wasn't until I opened the envelope and found two
fifty yard line seats to the big game that I realized the writing on the
envelope was not a hoax. There they were, two playoff tickets that thousands of die hard Vikings fans would have given anything to possess. I was astonished and flabbergasted. Evan and
Kevin had smiles from ear to ear, as did I.
Class
resumed two weeks later. During that respite I thought about those two
guiding principles Sister Ruth had given me. I concluded that it was
going to be pretty tough for me to comply with her second warning for
the remainder of the school year.
Showing posts with label Vikings. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Vikings. Show all posts
Wednesday, August 19, 2015
Sunday, February 2, 2014
The View From The Broadcast Booth
Today is Super Bowl Sunday, the one day of the year which is not a
national holiday but is celebrated as if it were. What better time could
there be to talk about my distinguished television career covering the
NFL on NBC? (On second thought, "distinguished" might actually be too
strong an adjective; "short-lived" is probably a wee bit more
accurate.) It is a chapter of my life unknown to all but a few people.
The set-up for my adventure began on September 12, 1983, my first day on the job as the fifth attorney in the Norwest Corporation Law Department. Soon thereafter I became friends with a veteran banker named Peter Spokes, whose office was right down the hall from mine. Peter, although probably in his mid-to-late sixties, was a ball of energy, always with a smile on his face even though lots of people constantly seemed to want a slice of his time. I'm not quite sure exactly what Peter's title was, but if I could have bestowed one it would have been Senior Vice President Of Fun. He would be the face of Norwest for many of the public relations functions around town, be they ribbon cuttings, ground breakings, sculpture unveilings, or any other similar photo op. He drafted speeches and press releases, managing to put a positive spin on things, sometimes in circumstances which probably required a fair amount of creative writing. He seemed to know everyone in Minneapolis, and not just members of the banking community. If you needed a couple of company tickets to a Twins or Vikings game, Peter was your man. He came through for me with a ticket to the 1985 MLB All Star Game in the Metrodome, a ticket that had most likely been earmarked for a corporate client. It is the only All Star game ever to have taken place in the twenty-eight year history of the Metrodome, and the only one I've ever attended.
The most common topic for our "water cooler conversations" was, as you might guess, sports. A couple of months after presenting me with the All Star ticket, Peter made me another offer I could not refuse. Unbeknownst to me, Peter had a longstanding gig as an NFL spotter, employed by the Minnesota Vikings. A spotter's job is to assist a play-by-play announcer in quickly identifying players involved in a play. This identification process is, ideally, performed seamlessly, so that the viewer or the listener does not realize that the announcer is receiving this aid. Every NFL team has a stadium crew which is responsible for the performance of specific functions during home games. Some of those jobs include the scoreboard operator, the official statistician (a position held by WCCO Radio personality Dave Mona), the chain gang, the closed circuit PA announcer (audible only to those in the press box), a replay operator, and various facilitators who serve as liaisons between the NFL officiating crew on the field and the broadcast media. Unlike most of the other Metrodome Stadium crew members, Peter's job was not always in effect for all ten home games (including two pre-season games), because some network play-by-play announcers brought their own spotters with them. Jay Randolph, the multi-sport NBC announcer who was assigned to the game pertaining to this post, was not among them. His M.O. was to use the spotter who was provided by the home team. For Viking home games, that was Peter.
The Vikings played the San Diego Chargers on Sunday afternoon, October 20, 1985. (About this time you might be asking yourself, "How could the Old Codger possibly remember the exact date of that Vikings game from so many years ago?" The answer is quite simple, and will come as no surprise to Momma Cuandito. Recently, while in the process of going through some of my hoarded junk at The Quentin Estates, I came across the Press Pass which I wore for that game.) Peter knew I was a big Queens fan, so he asked me several days beforehand if I would be interested in accompanying him to the game to watch him do his thing. Of course, I jumped at the chance.
We got to the game about two and a-half hours before kickoff. On the way to the Dome, Peter explained that I only had to comply with two rules in the booth: Don't talk during the live action, and stay out of the camera shots. Peter introduced me to Jay, with whom he'd worked several times in previous seasons. Jay was pleasant -- after all, he did not have to acquiesce to my being in the booth with Peter -- but very business-like. He was an old school broadcaster, kind of in the Ray Scott mold. He did not believe in histrionics, preferring a simpler, straightforward announcing style. He had been doing football play-by-play for years, and wasn't about to hyperventilate over this game.
I do not remember any "color man" partnering with Jay for the telecast. Nowadays that would be unheard of, but I believe Jay was a solo artist, in the same vein as the famed Los Angeles Dodgers broadcaster, Vin Scully. One of the first things I learned is that the on-camera pre-game analysis by the broadcaster(s) is taped about an hour before the game, but when it's shown at the beginning of the telecast, it appears to viewers to be "live," just minutes before kick-off. (You might notice that during the pre-game analysis, there does not seem to be anybody in the background in the stadium seats.) Jay, the wily pro, required only one "take."
Jay had a large pre-printed notepad on the desk in front of him. The notepad listed the "two-deep" rosters (i.e., first and second strings) for each team, accompanied by their respective numbers. Each player's name and number was written inside a small box, about four inches by four inches, and below almost every player's name was a little informational nugget relevant to each one. Some examples: "X majored in criminal justice at UCLA"; "Y was drafted by the Braves to play baseball, but football was his first love"; "Z was cut by three teams before finding a permanent home with the Chargers." Each time Jay would insert the little tidbit about a particular player into his broadcast, he would draw a line through it so that he would not unintentionally repeat the same mini-story later in the game. It was interesting to see how he chose to intersperse the anecdotes throughout the four quarters. By the end of the game he had used most, but not all, of his prepared material.
Peter stood directly behind Jay's right shoulder, and I behind Jay's left. As a spotter, and someone who had obviously memorized the uniform number of every Viking and probably most of the Chargers, Peter's job was to immediately point on Jay's chart to the name of the player involved in the play, such as a ball carrier, a receiver or a tackler. This often required Peter to designate rapidly more than one player per play. It was hard to tell how much Jay relied on this assistance; my guess is probably more so for defensive players than offensive, and probably more in the first half than the second. One thing I wondered, as I watched the teamwork between Jay and Peter, was how much more difficult a spotter's job must be during a radio broadcast, for which the announcer can't rely on his audience seeing things for themselves.
There was one facet of supporting Jay that I found somewhat hilarious, although I did not share my opinion with Peter. If the spotter noticed an official throwing a penalty flag during a play, he made an up-and-down motion with his hand visible to the broadcaster so that the latter could immediately advise the viewing audience of such occurrence. In other words, "Don't get too excited about this play until we find out what the penalty is."
From the time the game started there were a just a couple of times during the telecast when the camera honed in on Jay. The only other people in the booth were a technician, whose responsibility I never figured out, and an engineer. Of course the four of us cleared out of the way, thereby complying with that second rule of which Peter had warned me.
The game seemed to go by quickly, and I don't remember any of the plays. I was more intent on watching Jay and Peter than I was The Purple and The Bolts. The Vikings won, 21 to 17. On the way home, Peter told me that this (1985) was probably going to be his last year working as a spotter. Fewer play-by-play guys were needing his services, as they had their own team which traveled with them to their NFL assignment each week. I told Peter that being on such a team sounded like a tremendous gig, and asked if he knew Don Criqui, a Notre Dame grad (Class of 1962) who by then had been an NFL play-by-play guy for almost twenty years. Peter said he did know Don, and that Don was not the easiest guy to work with; tightly wound, short fuse, very demanding. Didn't sound like any Domers I knew.
And so ended my television career, a tenure of one day. I keep reminding my good neighbor, Sharon Wilson, that due to my experience with Jay Randolph, I am highly qualified to join the broadcast team of her nephew, Brad Nessler, one of my favorite sports announcers. Sharon has told me many times that she'd put in a good word for me, but Brad must have lost my number.
The set-up for my adventure began on September 12, 1983, my first day on the job as the fifth attorney in the Norwest Corporation Law Department. Soon thereafter I became friends with a veteran banker named Peter Spokes, whose office was right down the hall from mine. Peter, although probably in his mid-to-late sixties, was a ball of energy, always with a smile on his face even though lots of people constantly seemed to want a slice of his time. I'm not quite sure exactly what Peter's title was, but if I could have bestowed one it would have been Senior Vice President Of Fun. He would be the face of Norwest for many of the public relations functions around town, be they ribbon cuttings, ground breakings, sculpture unveilings, or any other similar photo op. He drafted speeches and press releases, managing to put a positive spin on things, sometimes in circumstances which probably required a fair amount of creative writing. He seemed to know everyone in Minneapolis, and not just members of the banking community. If you needed a couple of company tickets to a Twins or Vikings game, Peter was your man. He came through for me with a ticket to the 1985 MLB All Star Game in the Metrodome, a ticket that had most likely been earmarked for a corporate client. It is the only All Star game ever to have taken place in the twenty-eight year history of the Metrodome, and the only one I've ever attended.
The most common topic for our "water cooler conversations" was, as you might guess, sports. A couple of months after presenting me with the All Star ticket, Peter made me another offer I could not refuse. Unbeknownst to me, Peter had a longstanding gig as an NFL spotter, employed by the Minnesota Vikings. A spotter's job is to assist a play-by-play announcer in quickly identifying players involved in a play. This identification process is, ideally, performed seamlessly, so that the viewer or the listener does not realize that the announcer is receiving this aid. Every NFL team has a stadium crew which is responsible for the performance of specific functions during home games. Some of those jobs include the scoreboard operator, the official statistician (a position held by WCCO Radio personality Dave Mona), the chain gang, the closed circuit PA announcer (audible only to those in the press box), a replay operator, and various facilitators who serve as liaisons between the NFL officiating crew on the field and the broadcast media. Unlike most of the other Metrodome Stadium crew members, Peter's job was not always in effect for all ten home games (including two pre-season games), because some network play-by-play announcers brought their own spotters with them. Jay Randolph, the multi-sport NBC announcer who was assigned to the game pertaining to this post, was not among them. His M.O. was to use the spotter who was provided by the home team. For Viking home games, that was Peter.
The Vikings played the San Diego Chargers on Sunday afternoon, October 20, 1985. (About this time you might be asking yourself, "How could the Old Codger possibly remember the exact date of that Vikings game from so many years ago?" The answer is quite simple, and will come as no surprise to Momma Cuandito. Recently, while in the process of going through some of my hoarded junk at The Quentin Estates, I came across the Press Pass which I wore for that game.) Peter knew I was a big Queens fan, so he asked me several days beforehand if I would be interested in accompanying him to the game to watch him do his thing. Of course, I jumped at the chance.
We got to the game about two and a-half hours before kickoff. On the way to the Dome, Peter explained that I only had to comply with two rules in the booth: Don't talk during the live action, and stay out of the camera shots. Peter introduced me to Jay, with whom he'd worked several times in previous seasons. Jay was pleasant -- after all, he did not have to acquiesce to my being in the booth with Peter -- but very business-like. He was an old school broadcaster, kind of in the Ray Scott mold. He did not believe in histrionics, preferring a simpler, straightforward announcing style. He had been doing football play-by-play for years, and wasn't about to hyperventilate over this game.
I do not remember any "color man" partnering with Jay for the telecast. Nowadays that would be unheard of, but I believe Jay was a solo artist, in the same vein as the famed Los Angeles Dodgers broadcaster, Vin Scully. One of the first things I learned is that the on-camera pre-game analysis by the broadcaster(s) is taped about an hour before the game, but when it's shown at the beginning of the telecast, it appears to viewers to be "live," just minutes before kick-off. (You might notice that during the pre-game analysis, there does not seem to be anybody in the background in the stadium seats.) Jay, the wily pro, required only one "take."
Jay had a large pre-printed notepad on the desk in front of him. The notepad listed the "two-deep" rosters (i.e., first and second strings) for each team, accompanied by their respective numbers. Each player's name and number was written inside a small box, about four inches by four inches, and below almost every player's name was a little informational nugget relevant to each one. Some examples: "X majored in criminal justice at UCLA"; "Y was drafted by the Braves to play baseball, but football was his first love"; "Z was cut by three teams before finding a permanent home with the Chargers." Each time Jay would insert the little tidbit about a particular player into his broadcast, he would draw a line through it so that he would not unintentionally repeat the same mini-story later in the game. It was interesting to see how he chose to intersperse the anecdotes throughout the four quarters. By the end of the game he had used most, but not all, of his prepared material.
Peter stood directly behind Jay's right shoulder, and I behind Jay's left. As a spotter, and someone who had obviously memorized the uniform number of every Viking and probably most of the Chargers, Peter's job was to immediately point on Jay's chart to the name of the player involved in the play, such as a ball carrier, a receiver or a tackler. This often required Peter to designate rapidly more than one player per play. It was hard to tell how much Jay relied on this assistance; my guess is probably more so for defensive players than offensive, and probably more in the first half than the second. One thing I wondered, as I watched the teamwork between Jay and Peter, was how much more difficult a spotter's job must be during a radio broadcast, for which the announcer can't rely on his audience seeing things for themselves.
There was one facet of supporting Jay that I found somewhat hilarious, although I did not share my opinion with Peter. If the spotter noticed an official throwing a penalty flag during a play, he made an up-and-down motion with his hand visible to the broadcaster so that the latter could immediately advise the viewing audience of such occurrence. In other words, "Don't get too excited about this play until we find out what the penalty is."
From the time the game started there were a just a couple of times during the telecast when the camera honed in on Jay. The only other people in the booth were a technician, whose responsibility I never figured out, and an engineer. Of course the four of us cleared out of the way, thereby complying with that second rule of which Peter had warned me.
The game seemed to go by quickly, and I don't remember any of the plays. I was more intent on watching Jay and Peter than I was The Purple and The Bolts. The Vikings won, 21 to 17. On the way home, Peter told me that this (1985) was probably going to be his last year working as a spotter. Fewer play-by-play guys were needing his services, as they had their own team which traveled with them to their NFL assignment each week. I told Peter that being on such a team sounded like a tremendous gig, and asked if he knew Don Criqui, a Notre Dame grad (Class of 1962) who by then had been an NFL play-by-play guy for almost twenty years. Peter said he did know Don, and that Don was not the easiest guy to work with; tightly wound, short fuse, very demanding. Didn't sound like any Domers I knew.
And so ended my television career, a tenure of one day. I keep reminding my good neighbor, Sharon Wilson, that due to my experience with Jay Randolph, I am highly qualified to join the broadcast team of her nephew, Brad Nessler, one of my favorite sports announcers. Sharon has told me many times that she'd put in a good word for me, but Brad must have lost my number.
Tuesday, May 15, 2012
Sports Yucks 'n' Nuggs - Volume I
During the telecast of last February's Super Bowl 46 - - er, excuse me, "Super Bowl XLVI" - - Al Michaels told a funny story about New York Giants left guard Tom Snee, a story that I have paraphrased below. Michaels' short anecdote started me thinking that, in the course of a typical month or two, I read and hear several sports-related stories that are either funny or are worthy of at least a nod or a salute because they are interesting. That latter group is what might be called "nuggets," and is the "Nuggs" referred to in the title. I am sure that I've encountered several of such items since February, but I hereby admit that I wasn't diligent enough to write each and every one of them down before they escaped my sixty-four year old memory bank. In any event, I now have compiled a baker's dozen from the last three and a-half months, so that's enough to provide fodder for The Quentin Chronicle. Once again, some of these items aren't necessarily funny, but I have included them because they went beyond the standard game previews, play-by-plays, and game summaries that comprise most of what we see and hear as sports fans. I have designated this post as "Volume I" just in case there's a Volume II. One never knows.
1. ABC television announcer Al Michaels told the story of an interview he had with New York Giants starting left guard Tom Snee, who happens to be married to head coach Tom Coughlin's daughter. Michaels asked Snee what his wife says when he comes home complaining about how hard Coughlin's practices are. Snee answered, "She tells me to suck it up."
2. Sean Payton and Bill Belichick, head coaches of the New Orleans Saints and the New England Patriots, respectively, both have a reputation of being smug. On April 5, after the news of the Saints' bounty program broke and Payton was suspended for a full year by NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell, this comparison was rendered by KSTP radio personality Judd Zulgad, a former Vikings beat writer for the Star Tribune: "During a press conference, Bill Belichick is the smartest guy in the room. Sean Payton just thinks he is."
3. The Twins new left fielder, Josh Willingham, is built like a linebacker. This is what Fox North's television announcer Dick Bremer had to say on April 7 after Willingham crashed into the wall along the left field line at Camden Yard as he was trying to catch a foul fly: "Makes you feel sorry for the wall."
4. During the April 15 telecast of the Twins-Rangers game, the cameras were focusing on Twins center fielder Denard Span while the announcers were describing his defensive prowess. One second into the shot, Span attempted to spit, but got his spittle all over the front of his jersey. The camera quickly panned to right fielder Clete Thomas, even though the announcers weren't finished talking about Span. Perfect timing! (My sense of humor is nothing if not unsophisticated.)
5. Ivan "Pudge" Rodriquez, one of the best catchers in baseball history (21 seasons, .311 career batting average, 1332 career RBI, and American league MVP in 1999) retired from the game this year. He spent his first twelve years in the Big Leagues with the Texas Rangers, who honored him with a pre-game ceremony on April 24. Rather than throw out the ceremonial first pitch, which is what most honorees do, Pudge got behind the plate and rifled a throw to former teammate Michael Young at the second base bag. Throughout the years, many base runners were thrown out attempting to steal against Rodriguez, and his final throw was a vivid illustration of why.
6. The Vikings drafted two players from Notre Dame (safety Harrison Smith and corner back Robert Blanton) two weeks ago, bringing to five the number of Domers currently on The Purple's roster. In a radio interview on KSTP, program host Phil Mackey asked Smith, "How long before you guys put up a 'Play Like A Champion' sign in the locker room?"
7. On May 2, Twins starting pitcher Liam Hendricks was shelled by the Angels for six earned runs and nine hits before exasperated manager Ron Gardenhire came out in the third inning with the hook. En route from the mound back to the dugout, Hendricks skipped over the chalked first base foul line, apparently in a move to avert bad luck.
8. Last week the Vikings released veteran place kicker Ryan Longwell. Not only is his name perfect for the position he plays, but so is his Twitter account:
@4thand Longwell.
9. Adam Yauch of the Beastie Boys died on May 4. As a tribute to that native New Yorker, all nine of the players in the Mets' starting lineup that night chose a different Beastie Boys song for their walk-up tune.
10. Chris Davis had a dreadful night as the designated hitter for the Baltimore Orioles when they played the Boston Red Sox on May 6. He went hitless in eight at bats, as the game went seventeen innings and lasted six hours and seven minutes. Those ABs included five strike outs and hitting into a double play. However, Davis' fortunes did a 180 degree turn when the O's ran out of pitchers and had to turn to Davis (normally a first baseman) to pitch the sixteenth and seventeenth innings. He held the Red Sox scoreless, and was credited with the 9 to 6 Baltimore win. The losing pitcher was also a position player, outfielder Darnell McDonald, as the Red Sox ran out of pitchers too. The last time a MLB game was played between two teams which each used position players to pitch was October 4, 1925.
11. The Angels' Jered Weaver threw a no-hitter against the Twins on May 2 in Anaheim. In the history of baseball, only one pitcher, Johnny Vander Meer of the Cincinnati Reds in 1938, has ever thrown back-to-back no-nos. The Twins returned home from their disastrous west coast road trip (1 win, 5 losses, and only 8 total runs scored in those 6 games) on May 7, and had to face Weaver again that night. (It would be only the eighth time in MLB history that a pitcher's first outing following a no-hitter would be against the same opponent.) The sports world wondered if Weaver could match Vander Meer's feat. When the Twins' Erik Komatsu finally broke the ice by getting a single in the third inning, the Twins' home crowd derisively gave Komatsu and his teammates a standing ovation. Komatsu's fifteen seconds of fame did not last long. With two out in the top of the ninth inning and the game still within reach by the Twins, Komatsu dropped an easy fly ball in left field off the bat of Mark Trumbo for a two-run error, effectively icing the eventual win for the Angels.
12. With two out in the bottom of the ninth inning on May 10, the Twins' Trevor Plouffe hit a foul ball which struck the head of a woman seated in the third row of the box seats close to the plate. The woman was immediately assisted by stadium medical personnel. One pitch later, Plouffe struck out to end the game. The Toronto Blue Jays' catcher, J.P. Arencibia, went to the stands to check on the woman, and presented her with the game ball.
13. The NBA's Charlotte Bobcats (the majority owner of which is none other than Michael Jordan) finished the NBA season with a record of 7 wins and 59 losses, for a winning percentage of .106, the worst in NBA history. As of Friday morning, May 11, the Twins' record was a measly 8 wins and 23 losses. KFAN radio program host Mike Morris assessed the hapless Twins with this statement: "We are the Bobcats."
There you have it. As promised, a baker's dozen. Here is one more little gem to end this post. What follows is the answer given by WCCO TV's Pat Kessler, an expert on the state political process, to a question asked by KFAN radio host Dan Barreiro on May 8, the day following the Minnesota State House Of Representatives' approval of the Vikings stadium bill. On May 8, the Minnesota State Senate was engaged in a seemingly unending session to discuss the same topic. Dan asked Pat what could possibly remain to be said in the Senate, given the fact that the House debated the bill ad nauseam the previous day. Here was Pat's reply:
"It isn't that everything has not been said; it's that it has not been said by everyone."
If this were a political post instead of a sports post, I would point out that Kessler's clever answer is illustrative of why the legislature is sometimes accused of being a "do nothing" governmental unit. However, such an opinion would be out of place here, so I won't even mention it.
1. ABC television announcer Al Michaels told the story of an interview he had with New York Giants starting left guard Tom Snee, who happens to be married to head coach Tom Coughlin's daughter. Michaels asked Snee what his wife says when he comes home complaining about how hard Coughlin's practices are. Snee answered, "She tells me to suck it up."
2. Sean Payton and Bill Belichick, head coaches of the New Orleans Saints and the New England Patriots, respectively, both have a reputation of being smug. On April 5, after the news of the Saints' bounty program broke and Payton was suspended for a full year by NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell, this comparison was rendered by KSTP radio personality Judd Zulgad, a former Vikings beat writer for the Star Tribune: "During a press conference, Bill Belichick is the smartest guy in the room. Sean Payton just thinks he is."
3. The Twins new left fielder, Josh Willingham, is built like a linebacker. This is what Fox North's television announcer Dick Bremer had to say on April 7 after Willingham crashed into the wall along the left field line at Camden Yard as he was trying to catch a foul fly: "Makes you feel sorry for the wall."
4. During the April 15 telecast of the Twins-Rangers game, the cameras were focusing on Twins center fielder Denard Span while the announcers were describing his defensive prowess. One second into the shot, Span attempted to spit, but got his spittle all over the front of his jersey. The camera quickly panned to right fielder Clete Thomas, even though the announcers weren't finished talking about Span. Perfect timing! (My sense of humor is nothing if not unsophisticated.)
5. Ivan "Pudge" Rodriquez, one of the best catchers in baseball history (21 seasons, .311 career batting average, 1332 career RBI, and American league MVP in 1999) retired from the game this year. He spent his first twelve years in the Big Leagues with the Texas Rangers, who honored him with a pre-game ceremony on April 24. Rather than throw out the ceremonial first pitch, which is what most honorees do, Pudge got behind the plate and rifled a throw to former teammate Michael Young at the second base bag. Throughout the years, many base runners were thrown out attempting to steal against Rodriguez, and his final throw was a vivid illustration of why.
6. The Vikings drafted two players from Notre Dame (safety Harrison Smith and corner back Robert Blanton) two weeks ago, bringing to five the number of Domers currently on The Purple's roster. In a radio interview on KSTP, program host Phil Mackey asked Smith, "How long before you guys put up a 'Play Like A Champion' sign in the locker room?"
7. On May 2, Twins starting pitcher Liam Hendricks was shelled by the Angels for six earned runs and nine hits before exasperated manager Ron Gardenhire came out in the third inning with the hook. En route from the mound back to the dugout, Hendricks skipped over the chalked first base foul line, apparently in a move to avert bad luck.
8. Last week the Vikings released veteran place kicker Ryan Longwell. Not only is his name perfect for the position he plays, but so is his Twitter account:
@4thand Longwell.
9. Adam Yauch of the Beastie Boys died on May 4. As a tribute to that native New Yorker, all nine of the players in the Mets' starting lineup that night chose a different Beastie Boys song for their walk-up tune.
10. Chris Davis had a dreadful night as the designated hitter for the Baltimore Orioles when they played the Boston Red Sox on May 6. He went hitless in eight at bats, as the game went seventeen innings and lasted six hours and seven minutes. Those ABs included five strike outs and hitting into a double play. However, Davis' fortunes did a 180 degree turn when the O's ran out of pitchers and had to turn to Davis (normally a first baseman) to pitch the sixteenth and seventeenth innings. He held the Red Sox scoreless, and was credited with the 9 to 6 Baltimore win. The losing pitcher was also a position player, outfielder Darnell McDonald, as the Red Sox ran out of pitchers too. The last time a MLB game was played between two teams which each used position players to pitch was October 4, 1925.
11. The Angels' Jered Weaver threw a no-hitter against the Twins on May 2 in Anaheim. In the history of baseball, only one pitcher, Johnny Vander Meer of the Cincinnati Reds in 1938, has ever thrown back-to-back no-nos. The Twins returned home from their disastrous west coast road trip (1 win, 5 losses, and only 8 total runs scored in those 6 games) on May 7, and had to face Weaver again that night. (It would be only the eighth time in MLB history that a pitcher's first outing following a no-hitter would be against the same opponent.) The sports world wondered if Weaver could match Vander Meer's feat. When the Twins' Erik Komatsu finally broke the ice by getting a single in the third inning, the Twins' home crowd derisively gave Komatsu and his teammates a standing ovation. Komatsu's fifteen seconds of fame did not last long. With two out in the top of the ninth inning and the game still within reach by the Twins, Komatsu dropped an easy fly ball in left field off the bat of Mark Trumbo for a two-run error, effectively icing the eventual win for the Angels.
12. With two out in the bottom of the ninth inning on May 10, the Twins' Trevor Plouffe hit a foul ball which struck the head of a woman seated in the third row of the box seats close to the plate. The woman was immediately assisted by stadium medical personnel. One pitch later, Plouffe struck out to end the game. The Toronto Blue Jays' catcher, J.P. Arencibia, went to the stands to check on the woman, and presented her with the game ball.
13. The NBA's Charlotte Bobcats (the majority owner of which is none other than Michael Jordan) finished the NBA season with a record of 7 wins and 59 losses, for a winning percentage of .106, the worst in NBA history. As of Friday morning, May 11, the Twins' record was a measly 8 wins and 23 losses. KFAN radio program host Mike Morris assessed the hapless Twins with this statement: "We are the Bobcats."
There you have it. As promised, a baker's dozen. Here is one more little gem to end this post. What follows is the answer given by WCCO TV's Pat Kessler, an expert on the state political process, to a question asked by KFAN radio host Dan Barreiro on May 8, the day following the Minnesota State House Of Representatives' approval of the Vikings stadium bill. On May 8, the Minnesota State Senate was engaged in a seemingly unending session to discuss the same topic. Dan asked Pat what could possibly remain to be said in the Senate, given the fact that the House debated the bill ad nauseam the previous day. Here was Pat's reply:
"It isn't that everything has not been said; it's that it has not been said by everyone."
If this were a political post instead of a sports post, I would point out that Kessler's clever answer is illustrative of why the legislature is sometimes accused of being a "do nothing" governmental unit. However, such an opinion would be out of place here, so I won't even mention it.
Wednesday, December 14, 2011
Is The City Of Minneapolis Dysfunctional?
My impression of how the rest of the country (excluding provincial New Yawkers and elitist Californians) views Minneapolis is that it's an urban area that really has its act together. Were it not for the five-month long winters, they say, Minneapolis would be a great place in which to live and raise a family. It has most of the amenities you'd want in a metropolitan area, but without the scope and depth of many of the problems faced by a megalopolis. However, certain events have occurred recently to make me question whether Minneapolis is really what it's cracked up to be.
The handling of the Vikings' situation is a good example. Everyone in town has known for at least the last five years that the team's Metrodome lease was going to expire at the end of the current season. While the Vikings spent months working with Ramsey County to be a financial partner in the effort to build a new stadium, the city of Minneapolis did nothing to keep the team downtown. It was only after the Vikings struck a deal with Ramsey County and formulated a plan to take the Arden Hills proposal to the state legislature that Minneapolis finally got off its duff and became serious about stepping to the plate, just like they did for the Twins. And even after Minneapolis finally got the wake up call, the city big shots still could not quickly choose among three prospective downtown sites. As one out-state legislator put it, "You may think you have three sites, but [until you decide on pushing for one] you really have none." Eventually the city settled on the current Metrodome site as its favorite. The mayor and his pals acted as if they were surprised that the team was not willing to wait forever for some movement on the city's part. Where was the city leadership? Just what is on the mayor's desk that is more time-sensitive?
Several weeks ago the public found out that the city disregarded the laws requiring it to pay to car owners excess money received from the auctioning of impounded cars. Instead, after impounded cars were auctioned off, the city retained all of the proceeds, not just the monies to which the city was entitled, without notifying the owners of their rights. Once this dishonest practice was brought to light, we learned that the city's decision makers were aware of the relevant law but decided to simply blow it off. Now the city owes hundreds of thousands of dollars to the affected owners, and may have a class action suit on its hands.
Last week the case of southwest Minneapolis resident Elizabeth Howell came to light. Over the last three years the city has been harassing her to repair a deteriorated retaining wall that is totally on city property. Howell's property line is a good eight feet from the wall; her property does not abut the wall. The city's best argument to justify its demand appears to be that, traditionally, a private property owner pays for repair work performed on walls adjacent to such owner's property, but that is clearly a different set of facts than what we have here. Meanwhile, the city has not undertaken any restoration work as the wall continues to fall into the sidewalk below. Rather, city hall's preferred course of action is to issue threats and "final warnings" to Howell.
In 2006 the city was faced with a sex scandal involving its lesbian Fire Chief, Bonnie Bleskachek. Female firefighters alleged that Bleskachek sexually harrassed several of them, and discriminated against them by favoring her partners over women who were not. After spending thousands of dollars on legal fees and settlements, the city, amazingly, not only kept Bleskachek on the payroll but allowed her to hold onto the position of Fire Captain. City leaders assured the public that, notwithstanding Bleskachek's retention on the city payroll, she would not be allowed to apply for a promotion within the department. That assurance lasted less than six years, as we found out earlier this month that the current Fire Chief, Alex Jackson, has appointed Bleskachek a fire investigator. According to some reports, Bleskachek's yearly compensation will likely increase approximately $100,000 with that appointment. Doesn't that sound like a promotion?
Finally we have the sad news involving Rickia Russell. In 2010 Russell was a guest in a city apartment near the airport. Minneapolis police broke down the apartment door while executing a search warrant, and accidentally caused a flash-bang grenade to explode under Russell's leg. She was severely injured and had to be rushed to the burn unit of HCMC, where she spent two weeks of agony before being discharged. The police had the audacity not only to arrest her for "having a disorderly house" (even though the apartment was not hers), but took a position that essentially said that you can't expect each and every one of the approximately 275 search warrants executed each year in the city to go off without a hitch. That stance by the police did not satisfy Russell, so she hired a lawyer, Robert Bennett. A few days ago, the Minneapolis city council agreed to a settlement on the case which will cost the city $1 million, $600,000 of which will go to Russell and the remainder to Bennett. Along with the announcement came the revelation that for the three year period which ended in April 2009 (the latest period for which completely accurate figures are available), the average payout for each misconduct claim made against the Minneapolis Police Department was over $153,000. Partial data for 2011 indicates that payouts for police misconduct will set a record. By the way, the police never found the suspected narcotics in the apartment where Russell was burned.
After reading these stories, do you still think Minneapolis runs like a well-oiled machine?
The handling of the Vikings' situation is a good example. Everyone in town has known for at least the last five years that the team's Metrodome lease was going to expire at the end of the current season. While the Vikings spent months working with Ramsey County to be a financial partner in the effort to build a new stadium, the city of Minneapolis did nothing to keep the team downtown. It was only after the Vikings struck a deal with Ramsey County and formulated a plan to take the Arden Hills proposal to the state legislature that Minneapolis finally got off its duff and became serious about stepping to the plate, just like they did for the Twins. And even after Minneapolis finally got the wake up call, the city big shots still could not quickly choose among three prospective downtown sites. As one out-state legislator put it, "You may think you have three sites, but [until you decide on pushing for one] you really have none." Eventually the city settled on the current Metrodome site as its favorite. The mayor and his pals acted as if they were surprised that the team was not willing to wait forever for some movement on the city's part. Where was the city leadership? Just what is on the mayor's desk that is more time-sensitive?
Several weeks ago the public found out that the city disregarded the laws requiring it to pay to car owners excess money received from the auctioning of impounded cars. Instead, after impounded cars were auctioned off, the city retained all of the proceeds, not just the monies to which the city was entitled, without notifying the owners of their rights. Once this dishonest practice was brought to light, we learned that the city's decision makers were aware of the relevant law but decided to simply blow it off. Now the city owes hundreds of thousands of dollars to the affected owners, and may have a class action suit on its hands.
Last week the case of southwest Minneapolis resident Elizabeth Howell came to light. Over the last three years the city has been harassing her to repair a deteriorated retaining wall that is totally on city property. Howell's property line is a good eight feet from the wall; her property does not abut the wall. The city's best argument to justify its demand appears to be that, traditionally, a private property owner pays for repair work performed on walls adjacent to such owner's property, but that is clearly a different set of facts than what we have here. Meanwhile, the city has not undertaken any restoration work as the wall continues to fall into the sidewalk below. Rather, city hall's preferred course of action is to issue threats and "final warnings" to Howell.
In 2006 the city was faced with a sex scandal involving its lesbian Fire Chief, Bonnie Bleskachek. Female firefighters alleged that Bleskachek sexually harrassed several of them, and discriminated against them by favoring her partners over women who were not. After spending thousands of dollars on legal fees and settlements, the city, amazingly, not only kept Bleskachek on the payroll but allowed her to hold onto the position of Fire Captain. City leaders assured the public that, notwithstanding Bleskachek's retention on the city payroll, she would not be allowed to apply for a promotion within the department. That assurance lasted less than six years, as we found out earlier this month that the current Fire Chief, Alex Jackson, has appointed Bleskachek a fire investigator. According to some reports, Bleskachek's yearly compensation will likely increase approximately $100,000 with that appointment. Doesn't that sound like a promotion?
Finally we have the sad news involving Rickia Russell. In 2010 Russell was a guest in a city apartment near the airport. Minneapolis police broke down the apartment door while executing a search warrant, and accidentally caused a flash-bang grenade to explode under Russell's leg. She was severely injured and had to be rushed to the burn unit of HCMC, where she spent two weeks of agony before being discharged. The police had the audacity not only to arrest her for "having a disorderly house" (even though the apartment was not hers), but took a position that essentially said that you can't expect each and every one of the approximately 275 search warrants executed each year in the city to go off without a hitch. That stance by the police did not satisfy Russell, so she hired a lawyer, Robert Bennett. A few days ago, the Minneapolis city council agreed to a settlement on the case which will cost the city $1 million, $600,000 of which will go to Russell and the remainder to Bennett. Along with the announcement came the revelation that for the three year period which ended in April 2009 (the latest period for which completely accurate figures are available), the average payout for each misconduct claim made against the Minneapolis Police Department was over $153,000. Partial data for 2011 indicates that payouts for police misconduct will set a record. By the way, the police never found the suspected narcotics in the apartment where Russell was burned.
After reading these stories, do you still think Minneapolis runs like a well-oiled machine?
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)