Movie Review: "Aloha"

"Aloha": B-.  How much sympathy can you give to a guy who, in the space of a few days in Hawaii, has both Rachel McAdams and Emma Stone pining for him?  Well, not the real McAdams and Stone, but the characters they play.  All single males should be so lucky as to have problems of the type Brian Gilcrest (Bradley Cooper) has.  The US Air Force, at the insistence of billionaire Carson Welch (Bill Murray), hires aerospace contractor Gilcrest to assist in its mission to launch a rocket into outer space.  Over the half-hearted objections of General Dixon (the seemingly omnipresent Alec Baldwin), Welch wants Gilcrest specifically for the purpose of preventing the Chinese from hacking into Mission Control's computers during the lift off.  Welch gets his way because he is funding the project, and there is a mutual expectation that he will fund future Air Force projects as well.  Exactly what is the payload which Welch intends to have orbiting in outer space?  That question is not answered until near the end of the movie.

On its face, the selection of Gilcrest for this top secret project is puzzling, considering that his major screw-up several years ago in Kabul resulted in him sustaining eighteen gunshot wounds.  Mindful of Gilcrest's propensity for being easily distracted from his responsibilities, General Dixon assigns Captain Allison Ng (Stone) to be his shadow, making sure that Gilcrest stays on task.  Wherever Gilcrest goes, Ng is right there with him.  Contemplate, if you will, the logic of Dixon's line of thinking.  Being accompanied by the pretty blonde, vivacious and intelligent Ng is supposed to enable Gilcrest to focus.  Right!

Ng is not the only distraction awaiting Gilcrest in Hawaii.  Within minutes after his arrival, who is standing on the tarmac but the comely Tracy Woodside (McAdams), his former flame whom he hasn't seen in fourteen years.  Tracy, now married to an Air Force pilot (John Krasinski from TV's The Office), is the mother of a thirteen year old girl and an eight year old boy.  Did you notice the juxtaposition of the words "fourteen" and "thirteen" in this paragraph?  Ever since Gilcrest opted years ago to stay on Guam instead of keeping his promise to meet Tracy in San Francisco for a vacation, she has been waiting for the opportunity to confront him.

Writer-director Cameron Crowe can't decide whether to make his film comedy or drama.  If the former, it does not reach the usual quota of laughs.  Yet the casting of comedic actor Baldwin to play the general leads us to think this is the interpretation we're supposed to use.  As a drama, the story is too contrived.  As is often said about the television show Seinfeld, the movie appears to be "about nothing" for the first forty-five minutes or so.

The relationship between Gilcrest and Ng works in similar fashion to the one we saw in Silver Linings Playbook (reviewed here on November 24, 2012; B+) between Cooper and co-star Jennifer Lawrence.  There is tension, but not really a sexual tension, between the male and female leads throughout much of the story.  Cooper has that type of role down pat.

Stone is a screen grabber, just as we saw in Birdman (reviewed here on January 17, 2015; B).  She is jacked up in every scene as if she'd downed an energy drink moments ago.  Ng is "a quarter Hawaiian," a fact repeated several times.  She is well versed in Hawaiian spiritual lore and native dancing.  Her most important contribution to the space mission is to assist Gilcrest in negotiating a land trade with the "Hawaiian King" Bumpy (Dennis Kanahele), who sports a black and white T-shirt which reads "Hawaiian By Birth" on the front, and "American By Force" on the back.  The King is portrayed as a genial mafia figure.

Of the movies I've attended so far this year, Aloha might be the toughest to grade.  I believe "B-" is the fairest rating, although I will admit it falls closer to a C+ than a B.  I prefer movie endings which do not tie up all loose ends.  Crowe goes overboard in doing just the opposite here.