What The Hey? Thirty Questions From A Deep Thinker

Sheltering in place has given me a lot of time to ponder the great questions facing us as a society.  I am not "speaking" of world peace, medicine, law, economics, education or the arts.  For the time being I will leave those discussions in the hands of the specialists.  No, I am more of a generalist, and thus my queries cover a broad landscape.  Perhaps you know the answer to some of these.  If so, consider yourself blessed.  Meanwhile, my quest for knowledge continues.

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* When cowboys tie up their horses to a hitchin' post, why don't they make a knot instead of just twirling the rope around the post once?

* Why do politicians always have a cadre of people standing behind them at the lecturn during a speech?

* Why does CBS news anchor Norah O'Donnell refer to stories as "breaking news" even if the related event happened 10 hours ago?

* Why do people need to eat a $7 box of popcorn to get themselves through a two hour movie?  And why do the loudest chompers always sit directly behind me even in viewing rooms with 90% of the seats unoccupied?

*  Why is there no one universal source for finding and viewing old movies like there is for finding and listening to old music (e.g., via Spotify)?

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* Why don't Minnesota drivers know how to make a left turn?

* Why do North Dakota drivers at an intersection insist on recklessly pulling out in front of you but then drive 10 mph slower than the permitted speed?

* Why do Chicagoland drivers suck?

* Why do the fans and the band of a football team losing 35-0 sing and play "We Will Rock You" when they finally score a touchdown in the closing minutes?

*  Why is UFC legal?

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*  Why would anyone desire to take a boat cruise with 5,000 other passengers on board?

*  Why are people who've spent $50 to attend a baseball game willing to miss two innings so they can stand in a line to purchase a $10 beer?

*  Why do people sitting around a camp fire want to reposition a log when the fire is already perfectly burning?

*  Why do people in a restaurant ask the server to add ground pepper or grated parmesan cheese to their food before they have even taken a bite?

*  Why do concert goers insist on doing a video recording with their phone held high over their heads, thus blocking the view of the folks behind them, instead of just living in the moment?

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*  Why does the audience in a comedy club laugh hysterically at jokes which are, at best, mildly amusing?

*  Why do the local TV news shows need to have three separate weather reports during the course of a thirty minute program?

*. Why doesn’t hotel housekeeping dust off the top of the tissue dispensers in the bathrooms?

* Why can’t French fries stay hot more than 45 seconds?

* Why do male country singers strap on a big ol’ guitar and then play it for only one verse?

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*  Why do airlines permit passengers in coach seats to move their seat-backs to a reclining position, thus making the flight miserable for the poor saps directly behind them?

*  Why does the city's snow plow driver wait until I'm finished shoveling out the foot of my driveway before he unnecessarily plows the street again, leaving a small mountain for me to clear?

*  Why do the people with cabins on the west end of the lake fish at the east end, while the cabin owners on the east end fish along the western shores?

*  Why don't more people know how to hold their fork while they are using a knife?

*  Why don't alleys have names like streets do?

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* Why do baseball managers and coaches wear uniforms, and why does Dusty Baker go so far as to wear wrist sweatbands?

* Why don’t the moderators of televised political debates employ a mute switch when a candidate ignores his allotted time?

* Why can’t the guy in front of me in the coffee shop queue simply order his drink plain black?

* Why do many sandwich shop employees use the same plastic gloves to handle money that they use to handle food?

*  Why do televised pharmaceutical ads show actors doing activities unrelated to the product they're shilling, like sitting on a park bench, flying a kite or walking along a stream?  By the way, don’t take Trulicity if you are allergic to Trulicity.