Movie Review: "The Cabin In The Woods"

"The Cabin In The Woods": C. Is it an unwritten rule that in order for a modern moviegoer to enjoy a horror flick, she has to be an experienced horror flick aficionado? Is it common knowledge that in today's horror movies there are so many inside jokes and subtle nods to previous movies in that genre that the casual viewer who only rarely attends horror flicks will be left out in the cold? If that is the expectation then I plead nolo contendere; I would not be qualified to critique such a movie and should, accordingly, recuse myself. But until somebody advises me to the contrary, I am going to assume that the obligation of the filmmakers is to entertain the paying audience, even if not everyone in the theater is into zombies and werewolves.

In the interest of fairness and full disclosure, I will admit that I have not attended a horror movie since 2007, when I made my older daughter, Gina, come to the theater with me to hold my hand and keep me from embarrassing myself by hiding under my seat. The movie we saw then was "The Mist," and as I recall, we both thought the story was more lame than scary. Even though there have been horror movies that I've enjoyed (e.g., "The Exorcist" and "Carrie"), I have not really been tempted to give horror movies another try since 2007 - - that is until I read some of the hype surrounding the recent opening of "The Cabin In The Woods." The critics hailed it as a worthwhile film, several cuts above the average gore fest. Well, I thought to myself, I own a cabin, and it's in the woods. Maybe I'd better check out this movie so I'll know what to do (and not do) if a monster comes at me while I'm out for a walk. Gina offered to accompany me again to the theater, but our schedules didn't coincide. After making sure I had taken my hypertension medication that day, I ventured off alone.

In a nutshell, I was pretty disappointed with "The Cabin In The Woods," and can't understand why so many critics gave it a "thumbs up." The story is about five college kids who pile into a van and drive to a lake cabin owned by the uncle of one of the guys. The five characters are your stock stereotypes often seen in movies featuring young twenty-somethings: the jock, the good girl, the not-so-good girl, the serious guy and the pothead. Each character acts exactly like you'd expect her to act. The jock acts like a jock, etc. If I were casting the parts, I would not need to concern myself with finding actors who can stretch. The script does not call for that.

The part of the plot that makes this story different is that the words and actions of the cabin kids are being heard and seen in real time by a team of (government?) workers stationed in a remote control center. One of those workers is played by Bradley Whitford whom you may remember from TV's "The West Wing." Not only is the cabin rigged with the hidden cameras and microphones, but so are the surrounding woods. The government team has the ability to control some of the things which the kids encounter, and the team leaders are not above changing the rules on the fly. All of this seems like ideas stolen from "The Hunger Games." But make no mistake, the quality of "The Cabin In The Woods" does not approach that of "The Hunger Games." [Note: "The Cabin In The Woods" was filmed in 2008, the same year "The Hunger Games" was published, so I'm confident there was no plagiarism. The movie's release was delayed until 2012 by the bankruptcy filing of the film studio.]

The story of "The Cabin In The Woods" may not have been gripping, but at least the running time (ninety-five minutes) was short, so my attention did not waver. The final act of the movie was downright ludicrous and preposterous, even for a fright film. Maybe the joke was on me and I was the only one in the audience who didn't realize that the end was supposed to be silly. Be that as it may, if I wanted laughs I would have gone to see a comedy.