Game 163, Part II: Managerial Chess

Welcome back.  Our topic to which we return after a two week respite is Game 163 played in the Metrodome on October 6, 2009 between the Minnesota Twins and the Detroit Tigers.  I remember there was some discussion at the time among the media's talking heads about whether this game should be considered a "playoff" game or a "playin" game.  Hmm, an interesting if not purely rhetorical question.  The playoffs for each of the American and National Leagues in those days were comprised of four teams: the three (East, Central and West) division champions plus the next-best team.  In 2009, the New York Yankees were the American League East Division champions, while the California Angels claimed the AL West Division title.  The AL Central Division required a one game showdown, aka "Game 163," to determine the AL Central Division title.  Since the Boston Red Sox, who finished second to the Yankees in the AL East, had a better record than either the Twins or the Tigers (and also better than the Texas Rangers who finished second to the Angels in the AL West), the Red Sox were in, while the loser of Game 163 would fail to qualify for the playoffs.  The Game 163 winner, of course, would make the playoffs as the AL Central champ.  Thus, Game 163 was a Playoffs Or Bust duel.  By the way, Game 163 was also officially deemed part of the regular season, a fact of particular importance for statistical purposes.

Part I of this saga ended at the conclusion of the sixth inning.  As I noted, this turned out to be the exact midway juncture of the game.  But there is another aspect which makes the "intermission" well-placed, for it is the seventh inning where we as fans can sense the anxiety which the two managers felt heading into what they thought would be the last three innings.  At least one of them was pulling out all stops.

*** 

At the start of the seventh inning Detroit was clinging to a 3-2 lead.  The Twins had knocked out Tiger rookie starting pitcher Rick Porcello in the sixth.  By contrast, Twins starter Scott Baker had managed to survive six full innings, with a reasonable total of 84 pitches having been thrown.  Although the losing pitcher of record at this point, Baker's six innings with only three earned runs earned him what has become known as a "quality start."  That is a label created by modern media but scoffed at by old timers, like me.  I mention it here to preface one tidbit:  The Twins' record when receiving a quality start was a very impressive 37 games over .500.  A good omen?  

With the bottom third of the Tigers' batting order due up, Twins manager Ron Gardenhire decided to allow Baker to open the seventh.  This decision surprised many observers because Gardy, like many skippers, usually preferred to bring in his relief pitchers at the start of an inning, not mid-inning with men on base.  Having Baker start the seventh indicated that Gardy felt Baker could get three more outs.  But when Baker walked the first hitter he faced, Brandon Inge, on seven pitches, Gardy had a change of heart and brought in the giant, six foot eleven reliever Jon Rauch.  Rauch had only been a Twin since August 28, but was a key contributor during that brief span.  In 16 relief appearances he'd compiled a 5-1 record, with a measly 1.80 ERA and 14 Ks over 15 innings.  Rauch disposed of Gerald Laird on an infield popup, and got Ramon Santiago to fly out to center field where the super-athletic Denard Span ran laterally over 100 feet of turf to make the grab.  Rauch was barely warmed up; he'd only thrown four pitches to get two quick outs, and the man Baker had walked, Inge, had not advanced beyond first base.  Yet Gardy, as he was wont to do, decided to bring in a lefty, Jose Mijares, to face the Tigers' lead off hitter, the left-handed Curtis Granderson.  No doubt Gardy was aware of Granderson's dismal .180 batting average against lefties.

The selection of Mijares did not come without baggage.  In the final game of the Twins-Tigers series just five days before, Mijares was the instigator of an ugly dustup.  Following a sequence of several brush back pitches by both teams, Mijares actually threw behind the back of Tiger shortstop Adam Everett.  Throwing behind a hitter is an unforgivable no no among baseball's unwritten rules.  His selection of Everett for a target was puzzling because (i) Everett was not that good a hitter, and (ii) the two men were teammates on the Twins toward the end of the 2008 season.  Although there was no real bad blood between the Tigers and the Twins by the time Game 163 arrived, the thoughtlessness of Mijares was still fresh in the minds of the Tigers.

The first and fourth pitches from Mijares to Granderson were clearly within the strike zone, but home plate umpire Randy Marsh ruled them balls.  Mijares looked like his blood was boiling as he stared Marsh down.  But knowing he was under intense scrutiny -- is there any other kind?-- because of the Everett incident in Detroit, Mijares said nothing.  Minnesota fans, ever quick to come up with conspiracy theories, may have figured Marsh was a closet Tiger fan.  Catcher Joe Mauer, always Mr. Cool, went out to the mound to simmer Mijares down.  In what might be called poetic justice or retribution by the Tiger faithful, Granderson stroked a sharp single to right on the seventh pitch he saw from Mijares, thereby moving Inge to third.  The Tigers were on the verge of blowing the game open.  Gardy popped out of the dugout and immediately signaled for the fourth Twins pitcher of the inning, Matt Guerrier, to enter.  Ron Darling, the former New York Mets all-star pitcher who was the analyst on the TBS telecast, made a profound observation: "Ron Gardenhire is managing this seventh inning as if it were the ninth."  Guerrier did his job, getting the Tigers' number two hitter Placido Polanco to ground into a forceout to end the threat, thereby making Gardy look like a genius.  Another tidbit:  2009 would be the last season of Randy Marsh's highly regarded twenty-nine year career as a MLB umpire.

*** 

Tiger manager Jim Leyland's decision to stick with relief pitcher Zach Miner to open the bottom of the seventh astonished a lot of the armchair bench coaches.  Miner had bailed out starter Rick Porcello when the kid ran out of gas with two out in the sixth, but Miner had not looked sharp.  After yielding a single to Delmon Young that inning, he hit Brendan Harris with a pitch before getting the final out.  Still, Miner had only thrown a paltry total of six pitches to the three Twins he'd faced in the sixth, so Leyland figured he was good to go for the seventh. 

The Twins had second baseman Nick Punto, with his skimpy .228 batting average, hitting in the 9- hole.  Despite his stats, which included just one home run and thirty-eight RBIs, Punto was a gamer, a guy whom a smart pitcher could never overlook in a big situation.  With the home team trailing 3-2 and down to their last nine outs, this certainly was a big situation.  Punto led off the inning by proceeding to have what I judge to be the greatest at bat of the game, and arguably the greatest at bat of the season.  Punto's nine (!) pitch at bat included fouling off three two-strike pitches before lacing a single to left field.  The crowd sensed a rally; every Twins fan was standing and most were either screaming or at least waving their homer hankies.  At that moment I tried to spot Leyland in the third base dugout.  He was known to duck into the walkway to sneak a smoke every once in awhile.  Not this time.  There he was near the dugout steps, probably wondering if he should follow suit with Gardy's strategy of parading in relief pitchers to get through a single inning.  Yep, here he came, walking stiffly toward Miner.  All eyes were on Leyland's arm, waiting for him to signal for a new pitcher from the bullpen.  Surely he would not allow the right-handed Miner to pitch to the left-handed Span.  But that's exactly what he did, and guess what?  Miner struck Span out on just four pitches.  Would Gardy's decision not to have Span even try to bunt Punto to second cost the Twins this game?  Lots of second-guessers sure thought so.  Span had eleven of the Twins' fifty successful bunts that season.  The man knew how to bunt!

Next up for the Twins was Orlando Cabrera, their 2-hole hitter.  Cabrera was another late addition to the Twins' roster, having been acquired from the Oakland A's in late July.  In 58 games with the Twins he was hitting an impressive .292, plus he was on a 15 game hitting streak. With one out the odds were better than 50-50 that Punto would now attempt to steal second base.  The Twins often employed that scheme under Gardy's tenure when a batter (such as Span this inning) had failed to move a runner from first to second with nobody out.  With the season on the line, would the Twins send Punto?  Punto was a perfect 10 for 10 in stolen base tries, but to send him here would be an extraordinary risk with catcher Gerald Laird behind the plate.  Laird had thrown out 42% of would-be base stealers that season.  (33% is considered good.)  We will never know whether the stealing gamble would have been attempted because Cabrera crushed Miner's first pitch, an 84 m.p.h. hanging curve ball, into the first row of the left field bleachers.  I would have thought it nearly impossible for the noise inside the Dome to climb higher than it had been minutes ago when Punto walked, but sure enough, the decibel level spiked upward to an ear-splitting level.  As Cabrera took his home run trot in his unique fashion, kind of listing as if he had a dislocated left shoulder, the Star Wars Theme blared over the speakers.  The Twins, who had trailed ever since the third inning, were now on top 4-3.  As seen through my binoculars, Leyland looked like he now needed something stronger than nicotine.    

Mauer followed Cabrera with a single to right, and may have had his second double of the game if he hadn't lost his footing rounding first.  That spelled the end for poor Zach Miner.  Leyland used two more pitchers, Fu-te Ni and Brandon Lyon, to get the last two outs of the seventh inning without further damage.

At this juncture let's take a quick moment to reflect on the two managers' tactical seventh inning maneuvers.  Both employed several pitchers, but the plans were not the same.  My impression was that Gardy used four pitchers by design, whereas his counterpart, Leyland, used three pitchers by necessity.  Part of my thinking is that going into the top half of the seventh, the Twins still had their starting pitcher, Scott Baker, in the game.  There was little chance that Gardy was going to have Baker pitch much deeper.  When he did yank Baker after the leadoff walk to Inge, Gardy had his right-left-right (Rauch-Mijares-Guerrier) middle relief triumvirate all ready to go, and he still had not been forced to use his two best relievers, Joe Nathan and Jesse Crain.  By contrast, I believe Leyland had hoped Zach Miner could get his team three outs in the seventh.  When Miner struck out the second batter he faced (Span), things looked "thumbs up" for Detroit.  But the Tigers were ambushed by Cabrera's knocker -- only his fifth since July 31.  Leyland was probably hoping to save his two best relief pitchers, Brandon Lyon and Fernando Rodney, for the eighth and ninth innings, but he also could not risk having the Twins add to their one run lead.  That is why he brought in Lyon to get the final out, a tapper to the mound by Michael Cuddyer.  

***

Now with the slim one run lead and the Twins only six defensive outs away from the division title, Gardy had another decision to make.  Should he insert his fastest player, fan favorite Carlos "Go Go" Gomez, into center field and move Span from center to right, or should he keep the defensive alignment as is?  He went with the former, even though it entailed taking his starting cleanup hitter, right fielder Jason Kubel, out of the game.  This decision played a huge role in the outcome of the game.

The Twins' 4-3 lead going into the eighth lasted exactly two whole pitches.  Matt Guerrier, still in the game for the Twins, served up a juicy letter-high fastball to Magglio Ordonez, and as they say in hockey, Ordonez one-timed it ten rows deep into the left field bleachers.  During his eight seasons with the Chicago White Sox, Ordonez had continually been a thorn in the side of the Twins.  Now in his fifth season with the Tigers, there was no let up; Twins pitchers never solved the puzzle of how to pitch to this six-time All Star and former AL batting champion.  The Metrodome crowd was stunned, disbelieving the game was now tied 4-4.  When Guerrier walked two of the next three batters, Gardy was forced to do what he did not want to do, viz., bring in his super closer, Joe Nathan, before the ninth inning.  Nathan would have to get at least five outs, two more than he was usually called upon to do.

Nathan overpowered the two men he faced to end the eighth, stranding two Tigers on the bases.  But, the Twins meekly went three up and three down at the hands of Lyon in the bottom of the eighth, failing to hit the ball out of the infield.  

***

Going into the ninth with the score knotted at 4 apiece, the Twins had to like their chances, even though momentum may have shifted with the Ordonez dinger.  Not only did they have the advantage of batting last as the home team, but Nathan was practically in a league by himself as a closer.  Entering the game he had 87 strikeouts in 67 innings, and his opponents' batting average was an abysmal .167.  The Tigers' 9-hole hitter Ramon Santiago led off by nubbing a dribbler down the first base line.  After fielding the ball, first baseman Cuddyer could do no more than dive at Santiago, hoping for a tag near the bag.  He missed.  Leyland wasted no time getting Everett into the game as a pinch runner.   For any team in a similar situation, a bunt was in order, but especially for the Tigers who were second in the American league with 53 sacrifice bunts.  Nevertheless, this was a predicament for Leyland because the following batter, Granderson, enjoyed tremendous prior success against Nathan, going 7 for 16 in his career.  His last three at bats against Nathan resulted in a home run, a double and a triple.  Would it be smart to have Granderson give himself up via a sacrifice bunt?  Fortunately for the Twins, Granderson immediately fell behind 0-2, thus removing the bunt possibility.  Unfortunately for the Twins, Granderson fisted an inside fastball into short right field for a single, moving Everett to third with nobody out.  Nathan was now in a bona fide jam.  He emitted one of his patented, puffed, oral exhales, not unlike that of a horse.  This was a circumstance he'd faced many times before -- the world of a closer.  What he really needed was a strikeout.

The third man to bat in the inning was Placido Polanco, the hardest Tiger on their roster to strike out.  In 676 plate appearances in 2009, Polanco had only struck out 46 times, although one of those times was in the first inning of this game.  Two dramatic things then happened.  For the second time in this game, Polanco got caught looking at a called third strike for the first out.  Then the Twins' nemesis, Magglio Ordonez, scalded a screaming line drive caught by shortstop Cabrera, who immediately threw to first to double off the shocked Granderson.  It may not have been pretty, but reliable Joe Nathan got the job done.

***

One little ol' run in the bottom of the ninth would send the Twins into the ALCS against the Yankees.  Punto, putting together another excellent at bat -- his second in a row -- drew a ten pitch walk from Brandon Lyon, who was still in the game.  Once again the crowd was stoked, reaching what seemed to be a state of delirium as Denard Span stepped to the plate.  I would venture to guess that every fan watching, whether on television or inside the Dome, absolutely knew Span would be bunting.  Of course that's what we'd all assumed, incorrectly, when Span batted in the seventh.  This time Span got the bunt sign and delivered a perfect 1-4 sacrifice.  Now with a runner in scoring position (Punto on second) and only one out, a single from any one of Minnesota's 2-3-4 hitters would end the game.  But as luck would have it, the defensive play of the game was about to occur.

Leyland brought in his closer, Fernando Rodney (a future Twin), to face the momentary hero from the seventh inning, Orlando Cabrera.  Rodney was a fireballer with one unusual statistic: His ERA in non-save situations was four and a-half runs higher (6.69) than in save situations (2.15).  This was a non-save situation due to the tie score.  Would Game 163 play out true to form?

Cabrera drilled Rodney's first offering in between third baseman Inge and shortstop Everett.  In a do-or-die effort Inge drove to his left and miraculously managed to glove the ball on the second bounce, then threw a dart to first to nip Cabrera for the second out.  This play would have made a perfectly healthy Brooks Robinson, probably the slickest-fielding third baseman ever to man the hot corner, extremely proud.  The fact that Inge was playing on two bum knees made the play one of the most heroic I have ever seen.  Chip Caray, the TBS play-by-play man, blew the call by exclaiming, "Inge saved a run."  No, Chipper, he saved the game.  Punto certainly would have scored the walk-off run if the ball had eluded Inge's desperate dive.

Rodney issued an intentional pass to Mauer to put runners on first and second, but the inning came to an end when Carlos Gomez, the defensive replacement inserted by Gardy after Cabrera's seventh inning homer, tapped into a force-out.  The ninth inning was in the books.  We were still tied at 4.

These two evenly matched teams had played 162 games only to finish with identical 86-76 records.  Is it any wonder they'd need to go extra innings to settle Game 163?   

Game 163, Part I: The Setup & The Start

After the conclusion of all games on September 7 during the 2009 baseball season, the Detroit Tigers led the American League Central Division by seven games.  It would take a near-historic choke to relinquish such a comfortable division lead.  But as the remainder of the season rolled on, the Tigers' lead shrunk.  The second place Minnesota Twins traveled to Detroit's Comerica Park for a four game series starting September 28, the Monday of the final week of the regular season.  The Tigers came back to life, winning two of the first three games.  Now, with just four games to play, all at home, the Motor City squad maintained a three game lead.  But they dropped the series finale 8-3 to the never-say-die Twins, then proceeded to lose two of three to the visiting Chicago White Sox.  Meanwhile, the Twins returned home from Detroit to face the Kansas City Royals in the beautiful Metrodome.  The Twins took all three of those games, producing 28 runs combined.  At the end of the 162 game regular season, the Twins and Tigers had finished with identical 86-76 records.  A one game playoff would be required to decide the AL Central championship.

Among the four major professional team sports, having home field advantage arguably is most important in baseball.  There are a host of reasons, but getting "last at-bats" is the biggest.  Prior to the 2009 season, MLB used a coin flip to decide home field advantage in a one-game playoff scenario.  Given the stakes at hand, that method seemed rather flippant -- no pun intended.  The protocol was changed in 2009  to something more justifiable.  The team which won the head-to-head season series between the two tied opponents would now be rewarded.  By virtue of the Twins' 11-7 season record over the Tigers, the Metrodome became the venue, much to the delight of the Twin Cities faithful, many of whom had probably given up hope back on September 7, if not earlier.

The capacity of the Metrodome for baseball was just a shade under 56,000.  Despite the fact that the playoff game was to be played on a Tuesday afternoon, my guess is that the franchise could have sold over 75,000 tickets that day.  Priority went to the 2009 season ticket holders, and then to the new 2010 season ticket holders.  After you figure all the big shots, celebrities, media members, league officials, glad-handing politicians and others with connections, that did not leave many ducats available for the hoi polloi, of which I was (and remain) a card carrying member.  Although full of skepticism, I drove downtown early Monday morning, October 5, to take my chances in the ticket line.  I was almost shocked when the ticket seller offered two seats high above home plate, three rows from the very top of the upper deck.  Momma Cuandito and I, who had stuck with the Twins all season long, were going to be in the Dome for the big game.  It turned out to be the best and most memorable baseball game of the hundreds I've attended.

***

The Twins were very confident going into the winner-take-all duel.  Heading into September, the Twins were only one game above .500.  But their record over the last twenty games of the season was 16-4.  If the Tigers had not managed to salvage the final game of their just completed series against the White Sox, the Twins would have become Central Division champs outright, thus obviating the need to settle the race with the one game playoff.  The Twins were the hot team; the Tigers had staggered through a September swoon.  Yet the Tigers were not unnerved by the Twins sprinting to a 16-4 finish.  After all, three of those four losses were to none other than Detroit.

The immediate reward for the victor of Game 163 would be a date in New York the very next day for the opening game of the American League Division Series ("ALDS") with the AL East Division champion Yankees.  Thus, before even the first pitch of Game 163 was thrown, Twins manager Ron Gardenhire and Tigers skipper Jim Leyland had to strategize to take into account that their respective pitching staffs might be called upon again less than twenty-four hours after the present game was completed.  But both men knew that without winning Game 163, there would be no trip to New York; the loser's season would be over.  They must win the game at hand.

Gardenhire chose Scott Baker to be his starting pitcher against the Tigers.  Baker was a five year veteran, age 28, with a 2009 season record of 15-9 and an ERA of 4.36.  As his statistics indicate, Baker was an above-average pitcher but not what you'd call an ace.  (The Twins really had no ace.)  Since June 1 of that season, though, he had managed an impressive 13 wins, one of which had been against the Tigers just five days before Game 163.  Leyand chose young Rick Porcello to start for Detroit.  Porcello's season record was practically the same as Baker's, 14-9 with an ERA of 4.04.  Those 14 wins were the most of any rookie in the league.  The kid was only 20, but he looked to be about 15.  (Porcello was the second youngest pitcher ever to start a tie-breaker; the youngest was Ralph Branca of the Brooklyn Dodgers in 1946.)  How would he hold up to playoff pressure?

It is typical among American sports publications to include in a playoff preview a position-by-position comparison of each team's starters.  Excluding pitching, the Twins had a clear edge at just three of the nine spots, with Joe Mauer at catcher, Orlando Cabrera at shortstop and Denard Span in center field.  The Twins' Michael Cuddyer at first base and Jason Kubel in right field were very solid players who were enjoying terrific seasons, but it would be hard to give them the nod over their respective counterparts, future Hall Of Famer Miguel Cabrera and Magglio Ordonez, who occupied the 3 and 4 slots in the Tigers batting order.  Detroit second sacker Placido Polanco, sporting a .286 batting average, was clearly superior to the Twins' Nick Punto with his .228.  I would rate the other three positions (third base, DH and left field) tossups, highlighted by two left fielders enjoying stellar seasons, Delmon Young of the Twins and Ryan Raburn of the Tigers.  This Game 163 was going to be hotly contested, and like many baseball games, the team receiving the better pitching would most likely prevail.

***                            

                                    THE STARTING LINEUPS                                 

       Detroit Tigers                                                         Minnesota Twins

1. Curtis Granderson - CF                                       1. Denard Span - CF

2. Placido Polanco - 2B                                           2. Orlando Cabrera - SS

3. Magglio Ordones - RF                                          3. Joe Mauer - C

4. Miguel Cabrera - 1B                                            4. Jason Kubel - RF

5. Carlos Guillen - DH                                             5. Michael Cuddyer - 1B

6. Ryan Raburn - LF                                                6. Delmon Young - LF

7. Brandon Inge - 3B                                               7. Jose Morales - DH

8. Gerald Laird - C                                                  8. Matt Tolbert - 3B

9. Ramon Santiago - SS                                           9. Nick Punto - 2B

Rick Porcello - P                                                      Scott Baker - P

***

Two telltale signs that the moment might be too big for a young pitcher are loss of command of his pitches and an inability to find the strike zone.  Nerves and adrenalin often combine to cause a pitcher to be erratic, so instead of throwing strikes to force the batters to put the ball in play, the pitcher starts giving up walks.  To Baker and Porcello's credit, that did not happen in Game 163.  Despite the youth of the two starting pitchers, each managed to get through the first two innings without yielding a run or even issuing a walk.  Baker was immensely helped by a defensive gem courtesy of Twins shortstop Cabrera, who went to his backhand with one out in the second inning to snag a screaming liner off the bat of Brandon Inge, thereby preventing a runner on third from scoring.  Porcello, the rookie, had to face only seven Twins to get the first six outs.

The third inning was a different story.  Baker surrendered a one out walk to leadoff hitter Curtis Granderson, followed by a two out RBI single to Ordonez.  Miguel Cabrera, nicknamed "Miggy," then lofted a two run homer over the center field wall on an 0-2 pitch.  Perhaps Miggy, who had doubled in the second inning, was out to prove that he, not Mauer, should be the American League's MVP.  Up to that point the Metrodome noise had been ear-splitting and the crowd was a sea of waving white Homer Hankies.  Now, with Detroit suddenly up 3-0. the fans were momentarily somber.  Many of them were aware that the Tigers' season record was a gaudy 55-30 when scoring the first run of the game.  The Twins' flash to the finish in September seemed a distant memory.  Yet, it was only the third inning; the Twins would have their chances.

The Twins came back with a strange run in the bottom of the third.  Twins third baseman Matt Tolbert, who was playing only because regular third baseman Michael Cuddyer was filling in at first for the injured Justin Morneau, hit a smash down the third base line.  Detroit third baseman Brandon Inge, as gutty a player as there ever was in MLB, dove to his right to attempt to make the play.  This was a valiant effort because Inge was playing on two badly injured knees which would require surgery less than a month later.  Tolbert beat Inge's throw for an infield single.  Then, following Punto's strikeout, Tolbert advanced to second on Denard Span's single to left.  The next batter, Orlando Cabrera, hit a fly ball to right field, so deep that right fielder Ordonez had no chance to throw out Tolbert advancing to third after the catch.  [Note: This is a situation which I discussed in my July 17, 2014 post (Arbitrary And Capricious Traditions) about some of baseball's peculiarities.  In the boxscore, this play looks like a simple fly ball out, costing Cabrera a point or two on his batting average.  In reality, his ability to advance Tolbert to third was invaluable.]  The Twins, still down 3-0, now had runners at the corners with two out.  Next up, Joe Mauer.

Mauer entered the game hitting .364, an average so lofty he could have gone 0 for 17 in Game 163 and still won the batting title over second place Ichiro of the Seattle Mariners.  Porcello may have thought that it would be easier to pick off Span, a threat to run with 23 stolen bases, than it would be to get Mauer for the third out, especially since Mauer had driven a double to center field off Porcello in the first inning.  Porcello's pick off attempt to get Span, who actually had only a tiny lead, was off target to the right field side of the first base bag.  The burly Miggy could not corral the ball and it bounded away.  As soon as the alert Tolbert saw the ball rolling on the ground away from Miggy, he easily trotted home with the Twins' first run.  Luckily for the Tigers the errant ball caromed off Twins first base coach Jerry White; otherwise it would have gone near the Twins dugout allowing Span to advance to second (if not third).*  This excitement got the capacity home crowd back in the game.  Was Porcello coming unglued?  Tigers pitching coach Rick Knapp paid him a visit on the mound to calm him.  Whatever he said must have worked because the third inning ended uneventfully with a Mauer walk (probably one of those well known"intentional/unintentional walks") and a Kubel K.

***

The next two and a-half innings, at least on paper, were relatively uneventful.  However, that did not cause the crowd to simmer down.  The fans lived and died with each pitch, just as they had during the World Series championship years in the Metrodome, 1987 and 1991.

Scott Baker needed only an impressively efficient 28 pitches to breeze through the fourth, fifth and sixth inning.  During that stretch he had to face only one batter over the minimum of nine, allowing merely two base runners, one of whom was erased on a double play.  Porcello was even more stellar in the fourth and fifth innings, striking out three of the minimum six Twins he faced.  Porcello continued gliding into the bottom of the sixth, getting Cabrera to fly out and Mauer to whiff. But the third man to bat in the inning was Twins cleanup hitter Jason Kubel.

Going into the game Kubel was 8 for 11 against the rookie.  In baseball parlance, Kubel "owned" Porcello.  Kubes belted the second pitch he saw way over the right-center field wall for his 28th home run of the season, thus closing the Twins' deficit to 3-2.  When Porcello issued a seven pitch walk to the next hitter, Michael Cuddyer, manager Leyland came out and sent the youngster to the showers.

Reliever Zach Miner was summoned from the pen to close out the inning.  He did, but only after surrendering a single to Delmon Young and hitting pinch hitter Brendan Harris.

Little did we know at this point that the game was only half over.

______________

*  The errant pickoff attempt by Detroit pitcher Rick Porcello in the bottom of the third inning resulted in one of the strangest rulings by an official scorer I have ever witnessed.  The scorer correctly gave an error to Porcello for his poor throw because the Twins runner on third, Matt Tolbert, would not have scored had Porcello's pickoff throw been accurate.  However, the strange aspect of the ruling is that Porcello was credited with a pickoff, and runner Denard Span was charged with being picked off -- EVEN THOUGH HE WASN'T.  The ruling assumes that Span would have been picked off if only Porcello hadn't thrown the ball away.  Span barely had any lead off first.  There's almost no chance he would have been out, even with a good throw by Porcello and a quick grab 'n' tag by Miggy.  You might call the ruling a "phantom pickoff."  

The Lower 48 Is Not A Rectangle, And Other Geographic News Flashes

The Early Days:  I have loved geography ever since fifth grade at St. Joe's.  In the first semester, Mrs. Foley promised an "A" to each student who could memorize the 48 state capitals.  (Yep, not that I'm ancient or anything, but... Alaska, our 49th state, was not admitted until January 1959 when I was in sixth grade.)  She made the same promise second semester regarding capitals of all the nations of the world.  My results: "A" and "A."  This knowledge came in handy my junior year of high school when Father Robert Williams, our American history teacher, made us memorize all 50 states and their capitals, starting with a blank piece of paper.  Each correct answer on the quiz was worth one percentage point.  The result: Approximately 20 of the 25 students, including me, got a 99%.  We were docked a point for abbreviating "Saint" in the name of Minnesota's capital.  I reminded him of that tricky penalty when I saw him at my 20th year high school reunion.  As I expected, a wry smile crossed his face.

Later Let Downs:  My geographic curiosity has made domestic and international travel a joy, but two places I wanted to visit for over thirty years before I finally got the opportunity proved to be disappointments.  The realities did not measure up to my imagination or expectations.

The first disappointment occurred circa 1992 on a family road trip from Minnesota to Phoenix.  (It was the same trip to which I referred while discussing the Eagles album in my May 31, 2020 post.)  We had a planning meeting or two with our travel partners, the Cipolles, to determine which of several possible routes we should take on this journey, which would cover over 3200 miles round trip.  We unanimously agreed to do some sight seeing along the way.  I was adamant about just one destination, the Four Corners.  It is the only place in the United States where four states come together.  Clockwise from the northwest they are Utah, Colorado, New Mexico and Arizona.  Ever since I was a boy I had pictured a grand scene, complete with sculptures, a garden with beautiful wild flowers, historical plaques documenting the significance of the site, souvenir and gift shops (maybe even an ice cream shop or a candy store) and, who knows, a saloon or two?  I predicted the four states would want to use the uniqueness of the site to do a little bragging, setting up tourist information storefronts or at least kiosks, touting their respective attractions and nearby points of interest.  Of course there would be a professional photographer who, for a mere $10 or so, would be happy to take a keepsake picture of you and your three friends each standing in "their own state," or perhaps a photo of just you with an extremity planted in each state as if you were playing a game of Twister.  People would be willing to go out of their way to see this one-of-a-kind national landmark, so the mood would be happy, festive and celebratory.  Most of all, I wanted to see how The Spot was marked.

Instead what we found was grim and uninspiring.  There were few signs directing the minimal traffic off the county highway to the dirt road leading to Four Corners.  The Navajo and Hopi Indians had set up makeshift huts with plywood tables, forming a semi-circle about forty yards in radius from the exact Four Corners spot.  On those tables were trinkets and inexpensive jewelry for sale.  Near most of the huts were faded flags, some Old Glory, others probably state or tribal flags, still others representing unknown entities.  The point of intersection of the four states was marked by a simple brass disk, with a diameter of eight to ten inches, imbedded in pavement.  In the middle of the disk were two engraved perpendicular lines, with the name of one of the states occupying each quadrant.  There were no sculptures or plaques, nor was there a garden, beautiful or otherwise.  The huts with the cheap tables were the closest thing to a shop.  Not a tourist information kiosk was to be found.  To my dismay, there were no postcards for sale.  If you wanted a photo you were on your own.  In truth, it was a bit of a personal letdown, though still worth a one-time visit.  In retrospect I should not have expected more from this remote desert station.  The words of my favorite poem, Ozymandias, later came to mind: "...boundless and bare, the lone and level sands stretch far away."

***

You are no doubt familiar with the saying, "Fool me once, shame on you.  Fool me twice, shame on me.”  You would think, following the Four Corners experience, I would have learned to lower my expectations, but eleven years later I fell victim to unjustified hopes for the second time.

I grew up in the far reaches of northern Illinois, fifteen miles as the crow flies from the Wisconsin line.  Downstate Illinois -- which for most natives of that state means roughly its southern three-quarters -- was an intriguing mystery.  I tried to convince my parents to take my sister and me on a Downstate road trip so I could discover what the rest of our native state had to offer, but I had to settle for a one-time weekend jaunt to Springfield, the historic capital located in central Illinois.  Our family summer vacations invariably took us in the opposite direction to the North Woods of Wisconsin, where my dad enjoyed his single hobby, fishing.  Downstate would have to wait.

As a boy I read Tom Sawyer and Huckleberry Finn twice each.  I loved the way Mark Twain described life in the river town of Hannibal, Missouri.  His descriptions led me to think of Hannibal as being similar to Libertyville, only with the extra benefit of being on the Mississippi.  How great must it be, therefore, to experience Cairo, the southernmost city in Illinois, blessed with not one (the Mississippi) but two (the Ohio) of our country's most important rivers?  Plus, there was something exotic about the name "Cairo."  Even its pronunciation, KAY-roe, was a little offbeat.  I had to see the place for myself.  It finally happened on a road trip with Momma Cuandito in 2003.

I've considered several adjectives to describe what we saw driving through Cairo.  No single descriptor I came up with paints an exact picture.  I had ridden on the Vomit Comet through the ghettos of Chicago's South Side on my way to South Bend many times.  I drove through some scary neighborhoods in Detroit shortly after the riots there in the late '60's.  Gary, Indiana at night made my heart go "pitter pat," and not in a good way, even though I was with a couple of fellow Domers who lived there.  In spite of those sorrowful recollections, I was shocked by what had become of Cairo.  On a much smaller scale, it was just as disheartening as those other places.  Unlike Chicago and Detroit, where at least the downtowns were immune from the ravages evident in other parts of the city, downtown Cairo was in shambles.  Boarded storefronts, broken glass, crumbling sidewalk and street pavement, piles of rubbish, and nary a soul to be seen.  More than one social observer has called Cairo a ghost town.

The history of the town, details of which are beyond the scope of this post, furnishes a combination of reasons for its demise.  Racial injustice dating to the antebellum era, the building of railroad and highway bridges which destroyed the once-booming ferry boat business, and the rerouting of railroads which had helped Cairo become more or less a mid-South transportation hub are three major contributing factors.

Momma Cuan and I continued our drive a mile or two south of downtown to the actual confluence of the Mississippi and Ohio Rivers.  During the Civil War it was the site of Fort Defiance, a citadel which enabled the Union army to control navigation of those waters.  This historic property is now deserted. The most remarkable items are the scores of fallen timber which drape the grounds.  There was no commemoration or shred of evidence of the existence of Fort Defiance and the strategic role it played in the Civil War.  There was not even a small sign indicating that this point is, in fact, where the two great rivers merge.  At least Four Corners had that engraved brass disk.

News Flashes:  We haven't had an exam on the Quentin Chronicle since June 10, 2014 when I presented my Citizenship Test.  Try your hand at this one question quiz.

Question: Which state is the closest to Africa?

A. Maine.

B. Massachusetts.

C. New York.

D. Delaware.

E. Florida.

A large portion of Americans tend to think of the "Lower 48" as a rectangle.  I attribute some of that misconception to our preoccupation with sports.  For example, teams along the Atlantic seaboard are often clumped together in one division.  In Major League Baseball's American League, the American cities in the Eastern Division are Boston, New York, Baltimore and Tampa.  None of the five cities in the AL Central Division are anywhere near the coast, with Cleveland being the closest.  In the National Football League, the four metropolitan areas with teams in the East Division of the American Conference are Boston, Buffalo, New York and Miami.  There are other examples at both the pro and college level, but my point is that the southern teams and northern teams along the coast are grouped together as if they were lined up vertically.  Yet, consider these tidbits: Atlanta is practically due south of Detroit, and Miami is lined up longitudinally with Pittsburgh.

The counterintuitive stuff isn't limited to the East.  Did you know that Carson City, the capital of Nevada, is west of Los Angeles?  So are three other state capitals in the Lower 48: Sacramento, Salem and Olympia.  The lesson to be gleaned here is that LA is not situated at the bottom left hand corner of the country's rectangle because -- wait for it -- there is no rectangle.

And now, back to the quiz.  The correct answer is "A."  Maine juts out far enough into the Atlantic to make the seemingly impossible true.  If you win any dough via wagering, I'll expect a small cut.

Eating Crow:  I am going to close this post with one more geographic oddity, this one regarding my native state, Illinois.  I read in a recent publication that six states border Illinois.  I could not believe an editor did not catch the egregious error.  As someone who lived in Illinois for over thirteen years and was fairly well-versed in its geography, I knew for a fact that the correct number of its bordering neighbors was five: Wisconsin, Indiana, Kentucky, Missouri and Iowa.  Any Illinoisan worth his salt can tell you that.  But, here is the catch!  Technically, Illinois also shares a border with Michigan.  It is located northeast of Chicago in the middle of Lake Michigan.   

Quarterly Cinema Scan - Volume XL

Of all the many rock bands which originated in the city of Chicago, the band Chicago, with over 100 million records sold, has been the most successful.  The group was formed in 1967 under the name Chicago Transit Authority, which was also the title of their first album released in April 1969, two months before I graduated from Notre Dame.  The original roster was comprised of seven musicians, all but one of whom grew up in Chicagoland.  Dillon Hall had a bunch of guys like me who had a Chicago connection, and many of us bought that debut album, playing it repeatedly.  The album also garnered heavy air play on our campus radio station, WSND.

We assumed that the seven Chicago members were probably at least in their mid-to-late twenties, like most of the rockers from the British Invasion.  For example, the youngest Beatle, George Harrison, was 26 years old in the spring of '69; the youngest Rolling Stone, Keith Richards, was 25.  Therefore, we were astonished to learn that the majority of Chicago's members were our contemporaries, having been born in the years 1946-1948.  (For perspective, I was born in '47.)  When the band had been formed, three or four of the guys were studying music at De Paul University.

Chicago's lineup consisted of keyboard player Robert Lamm, bass player Peter Cetera, lead guitarist Terry Kath, a drummer and three horn players.  They billed themselves as "a rock band with horns."  Their sound was a rare blend of rock, pop and jazz.  Another facet which made them unique was this: There was no single lead singer or front man.  Lamm, Cetera and Kath expertly handled that role.  Although the seven players were considered to have equal "say" in Chicago's operation, Kath was an alpha.  He was a fun loving guy but was not shy about expressing his thoughts on their music.

By the time of Kath's death in January 1978, Chicago was unquestionably one of the biggest bands in the world, with nineteen Top 40 singles to their credit.  But Kath was a complex character who did not enjoy being a celebrity.  The band's success meant when they performed on tour, the fans wanted to hear their hits.  Kath, conversely, wanted to play whatever he felt like playing, preferring to jam and ad lib instead of sticking to studio versions.  His dissatisfaction brought him to the point where he fully intended to move to Los Angeles and form another band, emphasizing "without horns."  He even had a name for it, Cook County.  He never fulfilled that dream.

Kath died accidentally in 1978 from a self-inflicted gunshot wound.  He had been playing with handguns, as was his habit, and did not realize there was a bullet in the chamber.  He left behind a twenty month old daughter, Michelle, who in 2016 produced a film titled The Terry Kath Experience.  It is a thorough, unvarnished tribute to her father's legacy.  It also serves as a fascinating history of the band's formation and rise to stardom.  The film includes incisive, sometimes heart-wrenching interviews with all six of Kath's bandmates plus their producer from the early days, Jim Guercio.  Michelle also interviews some of rock's guitar royalty such as Joe Walsh of the Eagles, Mike Campbell of the Heartbreakers and Jeff Lynne of ELO.  To a man, they all agree that Kath should be considered one of the greatest guitar players in music history.

***

I have not been to a movie theater since February.  I miss seeing new films, but I've filled the gap by watching more movies at the Quentin Estates.  The seventeen listed below are the most I have covered in any Quarterly Cinema Scan.          

1. As Good As It Gets (1997 comedy; Misanthropic author Jack Nicholson steps in to help when the young son of his favorite waitress, Helen Hunt, has medical problems, and when his gay neighbor, painter Greg Kinnear, is severely beaten during a home invasion.)  B+

2. Bad Day At Black Rock (1955 drama; one-armed Spencer Tracy arrives by train in a remote California desert town whose members, led by Robert Ryan, are intent on keeping a secret.)  C+

3. Cadillac Records (2008 musical biopic; Adrian Brody is Len Chess, the white owner of an independent Chicago record label which launched careers of many black artists, including Muddy Waters (Jeffrey Wright), Chuck Berry (Mos Def) and Etta James (Beyonce).)  B

4. Days Of Heaven (1978 drama; lovers Richard Gere and Brooke Adams pose as siblings in a plot to scam Sam Shepard, a wealthy Texas Panhandle wheat farmer.) B-

5. The Good Liar (2019 drama; ruthless con artist Ian McKellan meets recently widowed Helen Mirren, then sets her up in a scheme to steal her entire fortune.)  B+

6. Good Will Hunting  (1997 drama; When M.I.T. math professor Stellan Skarsgard discovers school janitor Matt Damon is a savant, he lines up therapist Robin Williams, a former classmate, to save Damon from wasting his life.)  A-

7. Grand Prix (1966 drama; James Garner and Yves Montand are two of four racers on the Grand Prix circuit, all with women problems as they defy death at 200 mph.)  C

8. The Hustler (1961 drama; Paul Newman is a pool shark who becomes attracted to alcoholic Piper Laurie, indebted to gambler George C. Scott, and challenged by the country’s best pool professional, Jackie Gleason.)  B-

9. Looking For Mr. Goodbar  (1977 drama; Diane Keaton leads a double life, teaching deaf children by day, then hooking up with Richard Gere and other creepy men she meets in seedy bars at night.) C-

10. The Natural (1984 baseball fantasy; Sixteen years after he leaves girlfriend Glen Close behind to pursue a baseball career, Robert Redford attempts a comeback with a hapless major league team managed by cranky Wilford Brimley, while being distracted by bombshell Kim Bassinger.)  B

11. An Officer And A Gentleman (1982 drama; Richard Gere is a complex candidate to become a Navy pilot, but must first survive a grueling thirteen week training course under the tutelage of Marine drill sergeant Louis Gossett, Jr. and a tempestuous romance with Puget Sound "Deb" Debra Winger.)   A-

12. Surprised By Love (2015 rom-com; Hilarie Burton, a Wharton MBA with a corner office in her father's corporation, invites old boyfriend Paul Campbell to her parents' 40th anniversary party at the suggestion of real boyfriend Aaron Craven.)  B+

13. The Terry Kath Experience (2016 music documentary made by the daughter of Terry, co-founder and lead guitarist of the band Chicago, who accidentally died at age 31 from a self-inflicted gunshot wound.)  B+

14. The Three Faces Of Eve (1957 drama; psychiatrist Lee J. Cobb attempts to help Joanne Woodward, a meek Georgia housewife and mother with split personality syndrome.)  B

15. Unforgiven (1992 western; Clint Eastwood and Morgan Freeman, two gunslingers turned Kansas farmers, join young Jaimz Woolvett in a quest to kill two cowboys who brutally disfigured Montana hooker Anna Thomson.)  B+

16.  The Valachi Papers (1972 crime drama; In return for being allowed the safety of solitary confinement, former Cosa Nostra driver and hit man Charles Bronson recounts to FBI agent Gerald S. O’Loughlin his days as a mobster, including detailed descriptions of the crimes committed under the direction of the dons.)  C

17.  The Way Back (2020 sports drama; alcoholic Ben Affleck, separated from his wife Janina Gavankar for a year, accepts a position as temporary head basketball coach for the high school which he led to the state championship over 20 years ago.)  C

The Sheyenne River Byway

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.

- Margaret Wolfe Hungerford, author of "Molly Bawn" (1878)

A high school classmate recently sent me a meme comprised of a wide angle picture of a golden wheat field, otherwise empty save for a few hay bales scattered throughout.  The horizon line stretches far in the distance.  Above the image are the words, "North Dakota. Come For The..."  And, below: "Nevermind.  There's nothing here."

Residents and natives of many states will find some reason to include their homeland in any discussion regarding which of the Fifty have the most natural beauty.  For some states such as Alaska, Colorado and North Carolina, justification for inclusion is probably easy to come by.  For others, a little imagination is required.  Montanans love their Big Sky Country. Texans write poems about their Wide Open Spaces.  The wind comes sweepin' down the plain in Oklahoma.  (Thank you for the image, Messrs. Rodgers and Hammerstein.)  A college friend of mine from southern Indiana once opined, "If you take away Lake County, Indiana might be the Midwest's most scenic state."  Well, yeah; and if you take away those four runs Clayton Kershaw gave up in the sixth inning, he would have had a shutout.

Among the many attributes of North Dakotans, two I particularly admire are these: They are extremely proud of their state, and they rarely feel a need to convince any outsider of the correctness of their opinion.  If outsiders can’t appreciate the beauty of the land, well, that’s on them.  In fact North Dakotans, ever confident, are even willing to poke some fun at themselves, hence the wheat field meme.  "Flat is where it's at," proclaims a popular Nodak T-shirt.  While driving through the state you might see "It's not a tree, it's a telephone pole" on a bumper sticker.

All kidding aside, one doesn't have to look very hard to appreciate the splendor of North Dakota.  And, as an expat of the Peace Garden State, I find it easy to defend any accusations of exaggeration or hallucination from people who think of the place as strictly fly over territory or the frozen tundra.  I wasn't always in the camp of the state's ardent admirers.  Between 1966 and 1976 I probably made the 1000 mile round trip between the Twin Cities and Minot close to three dozen times.  On those journeys I was always in a hurry to reach my destination.  (The first time I ever drove 100 m.p.h. was on I-94, about twenty-five miles west of Fargo. Dumb!)  But then I finally got smart; I ditched the interstate.

****

Have you ever been at a party when the conversation has run dry?  Here is the perfect ice-breaker.  You gather a small group around you and posit this querry:  Does anybody know the difference between a byway and a backway?  If that doesn’t reignite the chatter, nothing will.  (Or, it could also be a good way to clear your house of guests if you're the exhausted host.)

Let's start with the basics.  There is a regulated system of Scenic Byways across the United States, thus dissuading states’ Departments Of Tourism from  posting homemade roadside signs making such proclamation anywhere they choose.  In order to qualify officially as a Scenic Byway, the U.S. Department Of Transportation requires that one or more of the following attributes of the road must be present: scenic, natural, historic, cultural, archeological and recreational.  The federal government calls these "intrinsic qualities."  Due to probable overlapping of these qualities, most Scenic Byways boast several, not just one, of the mandatory characteristics.

North Dakota hosts seven Scenic Byways, of which two have earned special recognition from the feds, and three Scenic Backways.  You have waited patiently for an explanation of the definitional difference, so here it is in all its simplicity.  In addition to meeting one of the six requisites listed above, a Byway must be a road with an all-weather surface suitable for automobile and RV travel.  This can mean either a paved road or a gravel road which is graded and regularly maintained.  There are no such guaranties with the Backways.  They are mostly dirt or gravel roads, with several stretches unsuitable for RVs and other large vehicles.  There may also be safety concerns associated with Backways, such as washouts or unstable shoulders.  The average length of North Dakota's seven Byways is 51 miles; the three Backways' average is 28.

For the two Byways which have earned national recognition, state highway signs are replaced by white rectangular signs trumpeting "AMERICA'S BYWAYS" in red capital letters, above which is an illustration of a fluttering triangular flag, blue with a white star in the middle.  The other five Byways and the three Backways are marked by green rectangular signs with white block lettering below an image of a bison.  (Must have been designed by an North Dakota State University alum.)

Forty-six states -- all but Hawaii, Texas, Nebraska and Rhode Island -- are home to at least one nationally recognized Scenic Byway.  The two North Dakota claims are the Sheyenne River Valley National Scenic Byway (the "Sheyenne River Byway"), the first in the state to earn national recognition, and the Standing Rock National Native American Scenic Byway (the "Standing Rock Byway").  I have driven each of them twice.  (I've also driven the Old Red/Old Ten Scenic Byway once.  Its endpoints are Mandan and Dickinson in the state's southwest quadrant.)  The Sheyenne River Byway is located in southeastern North Dakota, running between Lisbon and Baldhill Dam on Lake Ashtabula.  The Standing Rock Byway lies in southwestern North Dakota, starting 41 miles south of Mandan at Cannon Ball and extending beyond the South Dakota line.  What follows are a few lasting impressions from my travels up the Sheyenne River Byway.

****

The sixty-three mile long Sheyenne River Byway follows its namesake river, winding through some of the most beautiful countryside North Dakota has to offer.  My first exploration of the road took me over three hours.  I could have used four, but made the mistake of starting too late in the day, then rushing a bit so I could eat dinner at my favorite ND restaurant, City Lights in Valley City, before it closed.  I did not repeat that error on my second time through a couple of years later.  There are so many things to view, including the forty-one award winning interpretive panels which populate the route, and the gorgeous vistas which await the traveler, seemingly around every bend.  An important feature for camera bugs is that, unlike most of the Standing Rock Byway, the Sheyenne River Byway is  girded by relatively wide shoulders.  That, coupled with the fact that (like most North Dakota roads) there is very little traffic, enables the traveler to pull over, get out of the vehicle and snap pictures to his heart's content.  Sometimes I even hopped a fence and strode twenty or thirty yards into a field just to get "the perfect shot."

The southern third of the Sheyenne River Byway is forested, a fact which might come as a surprise to out-of-state visitors.  The route takes you through the Sheyenne River State Forest, where bur oak, quaking aspen, basswood and ironwood trees grow in abundance.  The state forest is also the home of North Dakota's only waterfall, Mineral Springs. Countless groves of trees grow on both sides of the Sheyenne, so even on those stretches of the Byway where the river can't be seen, you know where it is; just look for those leafy clusters.

There are 347 species of birds living in or traveling through North Dakota.  The Sheyenne Valley is popular with birders because of the variety of terrain.  The woodlands following the river contrast with the wavy grasslands and the fields of grain crops, thereby attracting an assortment of the winged creatures.  The Audubon Society lists roughly twenty different bird types of special local interest in the valley, most of which I've never heard of.  How about the northern harrier, the marbled godwit, the ovenbird or the yellow-throated vireo?  As for four-legged creatures, I saw many horses and cows, plus an occasional deer and a lonely coyote.  Although North Dakota farms and ranches are not open range, the curious animals are willing to lope over to the wire fences separating them from the road in order to check out human visitors.

If shooting pictures isn't your thing, don't let that stop you from trying the Byway, especially if you're interested in American history.  The area was home to several military outposts, including Fort Ransom.  In the 1860's and 1870's, Harris Ford Crossing was the point along the Sheyenne where westward bound army wagons carrying supplies and mail crossed to reach Fort Ransom from Fort Abercrombie.  The soldiers' main responsibility was to protect the settlers who were either making their home in the valley or else heading toward the western reaches of the Louisiana Purchase.  The village of Fort Ranson, named for the nearby fort, was founded in 1878 as a lumber and flour mill center.  The hamlet still stands today, notwithstanding the misfortune of having the Northern Pacific Railroad laying its tracks far to the north.  On the outskirts of the village lies the mysterious Pyramid Hill, on top of which stands a Viking statue.  Some archeologists believe that the hill, which actually does resemble a pyramid, is part of a network of Native American burial grounds, possibly dating back to the ninth century.

The majority of the settlers in the region were Lutherans from Scandinavia.  Two historic houses of worship, the Preston Church and the Waldheim Church, are situated several miles apart on the Byway north of Fort Ransom.    Those buildings, completed under the direction of Lutheran missionaries in 1898 and 1900, respectively, were once surrounded by tiny houses and cabins.  Now, other than a small cemetery across the road from Waldheim Church, the buildings stand alone.

Other historic sights along the Byway include: Walker Dam, originally built in 1906, sabotaged shortly thereafter in a water rights dispute, and rebuilt in the 1930s by the Works Progress Administration (better known as the "WPA") under FDR's New Deal; Wadeson Park, where a one room cabin built of oak logs and local uncut stone was used as a community center; and, King School, a one room frontier school house just south of Valley City.  All of these buildings have been lovingly preserved for more than a century.

The "city" of Kathryn, population 52, marks the midpoint of the Sheyenne River Byway.  Pioneers first established homes here in 1870, and thirty years later were lucky enough to have the Northern Pacific create a stop in its midst.  In fact, when the town incorporated, the name it chose was in honor of a railroad executive's daughter.  Other stations along the prairie route were likewise named for execs' wives and daughters, thus becoming known as "The Ladies' Line."  As important as the railroad was to the town's survival, the establishment of a co-op grain elevator played a key role in Kathryn's survival.  Outside of Valley City, the concrete elevator bearing the name "Kathryn Farmers Mutual Elevator Company" is the tallest structure on the Byway.  In the North Dakota lexicon, grain elevators dotting the plains are sometimes called "prairie skyscrapers."

Valley City, with a population over 6300, stands as an anomaly on the Byway.  It bills itself as "The Most Beautiful Town in North Dakota."  (Interestingly, Valley City State University unabashedly claims to have the most beautiful campus in the state.) The local Visitors' Bureau and the Chamber of Commerce also refer to Valley City as the "City Of Bridges," a reference to its thirteen bridges having varying degrees of historical interest.  Travelers sometimes use Valley City as a home base for exploring both the Sheyenne River Byway and the North Country Trail, both of which cut through the town.  The North Country Trail is America's longest hiking trail, spanning over 4600 miles from Vermont to central North Dakota.  The Rosebud Visitor Center in downtown Valley City is a very helpful resource.

The northernmost point of the Sheyenne River Byway lies eleven miles beyond Valley City at Baldhill Dam.  Built by the U.S. Army Corps Of Engineers from 1941 to 1951, the dam was desperately needed to control the flow of the Sheyenne River as it wended its way through precious farmland on its way to the Red River.  The dam created Lake Ashtabula, a twenty-seven mile long wide spot in the river, not unlike the relationship between Lake Pepin and the Mississippi.  The Corps strategizes with the National Weather Service and the U.S. Geological Survey, studying flood forecasts which impact the Corps' adjustments of the lake level.  With 74 miles of shoreline, there is a plethora of resorts, beaches, marinas, lakeshore campgrounds and restaurants.  Northern pike, walleyes and yellow perch are the main attraction.

****

The North Dakota Department Of Tourism spends a lot of money airing television advertisements in the Twin Cities market.  Their spokesperson is movie actor Josh Duhamel, a native of my town, Minot.  "North Dakota Legendary" is the service mark.  For the most part the advertisements tout the splendor of Theodore Roosevelt National Park, and the big city lights of Fargo.  I have been to those places, and there is no disputing they both deserve the attention.  If and when Josh rings me up for my advice on how the state can improve its lure, my suggestion will be to start a campaign promoting North Dakota's Byways and Backways.  I expect that call at any moment.  

The Ten Albums Challenge

I was never in the Marines but yet, having managed thus far to avoid becoming a Facebook registrant, I am among the few, the proud.  I have reservations about it, the same reservations that I'd guess even those of you on Facebook might have.

However, since I became a grandfather in 2013 it's been tempting to surrender and join society's majority.   For one thing, Facebook appears to be the main vehicle (with the possible addition of Instagram) for sharing kiddies' pictures with your "friends."  Ah, but there's that dreaded "F" word, "friends."  Think how embarrassing it would be to create a Facebook account and then admit to the world that your roster of friends totaled a measly 15.

In spite of this reticence I am not completely isolated from Facebook posts.  Momma Cuandito frequently alerts me to pictures of our kids and grandkids, posts from folks such as my former students or classmates, or particularly funny offerings, many of which target a certain politician of national renown.  In this age of sheltering in place, people have more time to spend on the internet, sometimes resorting to on-line games and virtual activities to replace the in-person social contact they are missing.

Earlier this month Star Tribune music writer Chris Riemenschneider wrote about a Facebook activity called the "Ten Albums Challenge.”  This enterprise entails a poster requiring a selected friend ("Friend # 1") to name ten albums which have influenced her taste in music.  Friend # 1 posts a picture of one album cover a day -- "no explanations, no reviews" -- for ten consecutive days.  With each such post Friend # 1 tags a friend ("Friend # 2"), thereupon challenging Friend # 2 to follow suit.  In effect, what you end up with is a sort of chain letter, and everyone I know hates chain letters. So do I.

Still, with time on my hands I find at least the first part of the Ten Albums Challenge intriguing, so I've compiled a list of what ten albums I would pick if I were on Facebook and one of my 15 friends invited me to play.  It is important to note what the Ten Albums Challenge is not:  It is not necessarily a call to list your ten favorite albums, nor are you being asked to name the ten albums which you consider the most important or greatest in the pop/rock era.  The exercise mostly has to do with influence.  Riemenschneider also points out "some participants make a point of choosing less obvious picks to tell a little bit more about themselves."  Why pick an album like Michael Jackson's Thriller or Pink Floyd's The Dark Side Of The Moon when thousands of other participants will do the same?

In order to suit my blogging purposes -- not to mention my dearth of techno proficiency -- I have tweaked Facebook's rules of engagement, to wit, in place of album cover photos without explanations, I am offering some textual tidbits for each of my selections.  The albums appear in chronological order.

1. Ella And Louis, Ella Fitzgerald and Louis Armstrong (Verve Records, 1956).  When I was eight years old my dad, The Marquis, brought home a hi fi record player.  It was a cherry wood four foot high piece of furniture with a turntable and a relatively large one-channel speaker.  He correctly figured, what good was a fancy record player without some records, so he also surprised us with six vinyl albums.  The one I played constantly was Ella And Louis, a blend of Ella's beautiful smooth voice with Louis' gravely singing, which was actually more like speaking. Good thing for him he was a premier trumpet player.  My two favorite tracks were Can't We Be Friends? and Irving Berlin's Isn't This A Lovely Day?  My family enjoyed this LP so much that the following year we bought the newly released Ella And Louis Again which contains my favorite song by them, Let's Call The Whole Thing Off, written by George and Ira Gershwin.

2. Christmas Sing-Along With Mitch, Mitch Miller And The Gang (Columbia Records, 1958).  Here is another favorite from my Libertyville days.  My parents always made a big deal out of Christmas, and my sister, Michele, and I were more than willing to go along.  By 1958 we had accumulated a number of traditional Christmas albums, but the one with which we had the most fun was Christmas Sing-Along With Mitch.  The unique feature of this LP was its inclusion of ten or twelve lyrics sheets which we individually used (as the title suggests) to sing along with Mitch and his joyous chorale.  You might say this was the precursor to karaoke.  Of the four of us, The Marquis was most in need of the assistance provided by the lyrics sheets.  He could never remember the lyrics to any song.  His version of Joy To The World included this opening line: "Joy to the world, and hear the angels sing, Arf! Arf!"

3. Surfin' U.S.A., The Beach Boys (Capitol Records, 1963).  It was the year before the British Invasion.  We were now living in Iowa.  For the last two years I had been working at my first real job selling shoes in a discount department store, a position the Marquis lined up for me by lying to the store manager about my age.  I had some money to spend.  It was time to buy my first album.  The two biggest American bands were the 4 Seasons and the Beach Boys.  The latter's surf sound was appealing to me, notwithstanding the fact that not only had I never surfed but I had never even seen an ocean (unless you count New York City's East River).  The first of the six Beach Boys singles to reach the Top 40 on the Billboard chart in 1963 was the title track from their second album, Surfin' U.S.A.  The B-side of the single was Shut Down, a race car song lasting only 1:49.  Despite its brevity, Shut Down got so much radio airplay that it charted independently, peaking at # 23.  Instead of spending one dollar buying the single '45 with the two hit sides, I splurged by purchasing the entire album for $4, the going LP price in those days.  That turned out to be a smart move as it enabled me to discover what is meant by a "deep cut."  Farmer's Daughter, never released as a single, was my favorite tune on the platter.

4. Meet The Beatles!, The Beatles (Capitol Records, 1964).  Including Meet The Beatles! undoubtedly runs afoul of Riemenschneider's admonition against picking an album which arguably deserves to be on every music fan's list of ten, but then how credible would it be to leave out the one album which meant the most to me throughout high school?  I have written before (March 10, 2014) about the mid-winter scene when I first moved to Minot in January 1964.  I can't overstate how the band impacted me.  The LP's release also coincided, more or less, with my drumming exploits.  I played along on my newly acquired kit with many of the Brit bands' albums and singles, but I kept coming back to this LP, practically wearing it out.  As a drummer, my favorite tracks were I Saw Her Standing There and It Won't Be Long.  Like many Beatles fans, I have purchased every album of theirs, read several books (including Lennon by Philip Norman) and even spent three days in Liverpool seeing the Fab Four sights (as recounted in my October 31 and November 12, 2016 posts).

5. Hear! Here!, The Hollies (Imperial Records, 1965).  While in high school I never thought there'd be another band to rival my affection for the Beatles.  Then I got to college and heard a South Bend band called the MRQ in concert in the Stepan Center (the "giant popcorn shaker," as labeled by Paul Stookey).  They were an incredibly talented quintet comprised of musicians not much older than I.  Their specialty was Hollies and Byrds songs which they played and sang to perfection, including three part harmony. The MRQ’s set list wasn't limited to just the hits, either.  After hearing these boys from The Bend, I absolutely had to have as much Hollies music as I could find.  Of the many Hollies LPs I accumulated over the years, Hear! Here!, the first one I bought, remains my favorite because almost every one of the twelve songs exhibits the supreme drumming chops of Bobby Elliott, my idol along with Foreigner's drummer, Dennis Elliott (no relation to my knowledge).  Unheralded deep cuts You Must Believe Me, a Curtis Mayfield cover, and I've Been Wrong are two I've played over a hundred times.  I have seen the Hollies three times in concert: once in their glory days at the Orpheum in downtown Minneapolis, once (if you can believe it) at the Burnsville Bowl, and in 2017 in their hometown, Manchester, England.

6. Greatest Hits, The Temptations (Gordy, 1966).  I have tried to avoid selecting greatest hits albums for my list, but must capitulate here for at least three reasons.  First, for many years the majority of albums in my collection were, in fact, greatest hits compilations.  It was a surefire way to save money and be assured that there would not be any (or much) filler in the track list.  Second, I love every single one of the twelve songs by the Temptin' Ts, my go-to group when I’m in the mood for Motown.  Since I Lost My Baby is my favorite.  I sing it on sunny days.  (Momma Cuan often leaves the room.)  Third, it gives me an opportunity to plug one of my earliest posts from February 6, 2012, Singing With The Temptations.  I had a chance to see The Tempts in South Bend, circa 1967.  They were only on stage for a half hour but it was perpetual motion.  There was no interlude between songs as they segued from one hit to another.  Silky smooth.

7. Eagles, The Eagles (Asylum, 1972).  Classic rock is my favorite genre, and what better example to use than the Eagles?  Their legion of fans worldwide numbers in the millions.  Most of those folks would probably select Their Greatest Hits 1971-1975 or Hotel California for purposes of the Ten Albums Challenge.  They rank respectively as the # 1 and # 3 best selling albums of all time in the United States.  However, I have chosen the Eagles’ first album, the eponymous Eagles, because it is directly associated with two favorite personal memories.  The first:  When our kids were in grade school we took a family road trip to Arizona with our friends, the Cipolles.  Our kids pleaded with us to allow them to ride in the Cipolles’ conversion van rather than our Plain Jane model.  On our way home the two families hooked up at a McDonald's in Winslow, Arizona.  Gina and Michael came up to me with exciting news.  "You wouldn't believe it.  Bob just played Take It Easy about six times in a row!"  Of course, that's the Eagles song which contains the famous lyric,  "Well I'm standin' on a corner in Winslow, Arizona."  Years later on our second trip through Winslow we went downtown where a sculpture commemorating that song appropriately stands on a corner.  The second: You might not have seen this on Entertainment Tonight, but in 1997 I made my karaoke debut in the hotel bar next to Mitchell Airport in Milwaukee.  I had been wanting to try my hand at karaoke for some time, but I lacked the courage to do so until I was far away from home.  I figured, "I'll never see these people again."  After downing a couple of PBRs I had my three minutes of fame.  The song I chose was Peaceful Easy Feeling which, along with Take It Easy, are on Eagles.

8.  The Big Chill, Original Motion Picture Soundtrack (Motown, 1983).  This selection is a perfect example of an entertaining movie (graded A- in my July 24, 2018 Quarterly Cinema Scan) partnering with an even more enjoyable soundtrack.  There are only ten tracks and it's almost impossible to pick a favorite.  (Okay, if you insist, Ain't Too Proud To Beg by the Temptations.)  For an extra added treat, couple this album with its successor released in 1984, More Songs From The Original Soundtrack.  An interesting tidbit is that neither album contains the Rolling Stones' You Can't Always Get What You Want, due to apparent licensing problems.  That is unfortunate mainly because one of the best scenes in the film is a funeral service in which the decedent's friend plays that song on the chapel’s organ at his request.  A Periolat family tradition, mirroring another scene in the movie, is to play the soundtrack as we are cleaning up after our Thanksgiving Day feast.

9.  Lost Highway, Bon Jovi (Island Records, 2007).  Listing my ten albums albums in chronological order -- a self-imposed rule -- puts me in a bind here.  I only have room for one more since I know with certainty what LP goes in the final slot.  As for the nine hole, do I go with Lost Highway or Jason Aldean's My Kinda Party?  The latter contains Fly Over States which has particular appeal for someone like me who has lived in five different midwestern states.  Do I need a country album to reflect my growing taste for that genre?  Perhaps Lost Highway, which was recorded in Nashville and reveals the New Jersey rockers infusing a country flavor, is close enough.  Bon Jovi has been a favorite of mine since the late eighties.  I play my homemade thirty song Bon Jovi mix all the time.  Tico Torres is a solid drummer whom I had the opportunity to watch closely when Momma Cuan and I had concert tickets which lined up directly to his side.  The highlight of Lost Highway is the finest "dad song" I've ever heard, Walk Like A Man.  For some unknown reason, that song only appears as a bonus track on the discs which were available in Target.  Whoever made that marketing decision must not be a dad.

10. Born In The Way, Luke Warm & The Cool Hands (2013).  Of all the live acts I've had the pleasure to see in person, L-Watch stands out for providing the most fun, having the most loyal multi-generational fan base, working hard at their blue grass craft, superb musicianship and creative song writing.  They have played in packed venues all over town, and elsewhere.  The atmosphere they create is electric.  It's hard to believe their talented lead guitarist, Michael, is related to me.  Since it's difficult for me to verbalize the sentiment, I hereby put it in writing for all to see: I am very proud of him.  I would be remiss if I did not also tip my hat to the other guys: multi-instrumentalist Charlie, guitarist JP, lead vocalist Matty, and none other than Luke Warm himself, my son-in-law and bassist, Uncle Luke.  They all deserve the success that has come their way.  Favorite tunes?  North American Pastoral is at the top of my list, but Fly The Coop and She Must Be Friends With Raccoons are not far behind.  The band's second album, 2016's What Makes You Happy?, is likewise a winner.  How could it not be when it includes the song Michael wrote for his two year old daughter, Winnie Jo? 

What The Hey? Thirty Questions From A Deep Thinker

Sheltering in place has given me a lot of time to ponder the great questions facing us as a society.  I am not "speaking" of world peace, medicine, law, economics, education or the arts.  For the time being I will leave those discussions in the hands of the specialists.  No, I am more of a generalist, and thus my queries cover a broad landscape.  Perhaps you know the answer to some of these.  If so, consider yourself blessed.  Meanwhile, my quest for knowledge continues.

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* When cowboys tie up their horses to a hitchin' post, why don't they make a knot instead of just twirling the rope around the post once?

* Why do politicians always have a cadre of people standing behind them at the lecturn during a speech?

* Why does CBS news anchor Norah O'Donnell refer to stories as "breaking news" even if the related event happened 10 hours ago?

* Why do people need to eat a $7 box of popcorn to get themselves through a two hour movie?  And why do the loudest chompers always sit directly behind me even in viewing rooms with 90% of the seats unoccupied?

*  Why is there no one universal source for finding and viewing old movies like there is for finding and listening to old music (e.g., via Spotify)?

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* Why don't Minnesota drivers know how to make a left turn?

* Why do North Dakota drivers at an intersection insist on recklessly pulling out in front of you but then drive 10 mph slower than the permitted speed?

* Why do Chicagoland drivers suck?

* Why do the fans and the band of a football team losing 35-0 sing and play "We Will Rock You" when they finally score a touchdown in the closing minutes?

*  Why is UFC legal?

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*  Why would anyone desire to take a boat cruise with 5,000 other passengers on board?

*  Why are people who've spent $50 to attend a baseball game willing to miss two innings so they can stand in a line to purchase a $10 beer?

*  Why do people sitting around a camp fire want to reposition a log when the fire is already perfectly burning?

*  Why do people in a restaurant ask the server to add ground pepper or grated parmesan cheese to their food before they have even taken a bite?

*  Why do concert goers insist on doing a video recording with their phone held high over their heads, thus blocking the view of the folks behind them, instead of just living in the moment?

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*  Why does the audience in a comedy club laugh hysterically at jokes which are, at best, mildly amusing?

*  Why do the local TV news shows need to have three separate weather reports during the course of a thirty minute program?

*. Why doesn’t hotel housekeeping dust off the top of the tissue dispensers in the bathrooms?

* Why can’t French fries stay hot more than 45 seconds?

* Why do male country singers strap on a big ol’ guitar and then play it for only one verse?

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*  Why do airlines permit passengers in coach seats to move their seat-backs to a reclining position, thus making the flight miserable for the poor saps directly behind them?

*  Why does the city's snow plow driver wait until I'm finished shoveling out the foot of my driveway before he unnecessarily plows the street again, leaving a small mountain for me to clear?

*  Why do the people with cabins on the west end of the lake fish at the east end, while the cabin owners on the east end fish along the western shores?

*  Why don't more people know how to hold their fork while they are using a knife?

*  Why don't alleys have names like streets do?

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* Why do baseball managers and coaches wear uniforms, and why does Dusty Baker go so far as to wear wrist sweatbands?

* Why don’t the moderators of televised political debates employ a mute switch when a candidate ignores his allotted time?

* Why can’t the guy in front of me in the coffee shop queue simply order his drink plain black?

* Why do many sandwich shop employees use the same plastic gloves to handle money that they use to handle food?

*  Why do televised pharmaceutical ads show actors doing activities unrelated to the product they're shilling, like sitting on a park bench, flying a kite or walking along a stream?  By the way, don’t take Trulicity if you are allergic to Trulicity.