The Cow Jumped Over The Moon

Two ten year old boys go exploring in the forests of central Alabama.  Nick carries a pellet gun and is keeping his eye out for four-legged varmints.  He hopes some day to become an Army Ranger like his oldest brother, Nate.  Eddie is an aspiring scientist.  While Nick chases rabbits and squirrels, Eddie goes at a much slower pace, carefully examining different kinds of trees and wild flowers which grow in abundance.  Their mothers have packed them a meal and each youngster carries a canteen filled with water.  They also equip themselves with a compass, flashlights, a whistle, pocket knives and even a couple of flares.  Despite their age, these boys are experienced woodsmen.  The majority of their summer vacation days are spent on outings like this one.

When the sun is directly overhead they know it’s lunchtime. Within minutes they reach a brook, the perfect place to take a lunch break and refill their canteens.  Nick unloads a peanut butter and jelly sandwich while Eddie feasts on a chicken drummie.  Suddenly they hear what seems to be the muted sputtering of a small plane, followed seconds later by the sound of cracking trees.  Then, silence.  The two boys stare at each other, knowing what they heard did not emanate from Mother Nature.  They grab their backpacks and dash in the direction of what could only be a crash.

In less than ten minutes they arrive at a ghastly scene.  A single engine Cessna lies in ruins, scattered in a dozen or so pieces across a small clearing.  The pilot, a man not much older than Nate, is sprawled on the ground, dying, a few feet away from the cockpit.  His body is bloodied and, for lack of a better word, wrecked.  It is clear to Nick and Eddie that the young man is not going to make it.  Eddie puts his canteen up to the pilot's lips, but he has no ability to swallow.  Understandably, the boys feel helpless and frightened.  The pilot moves his lips but it’s not until the boys draw within inches that they are able to understand him.  The poor soul then expires within a minute.

***

Three and a-half hours later County Sheriff Ross Cooper and a police chaplain, Reverend Herbert Monroe, are inside the home of the deceased and his widow, Amy.  While the two men deliver the terrible news to Amy, Nick and Eddie wait outside on the front porch.  The young mother of two children is devastated.  Sheriff Cooper and even Reverend Monroe are at a loss for words.  Tragedy like this doesn't happen much in their rural town.  Perhaps the NTSB will shed some light on the cause of the crash, but it will be another day or two before their investigative team arrives.  Even then, the thickly wooded countryside will present problems for evidence gathering.

After fifteen minutes or so Cooper and Monroe determine they have tried their best, albeit rather unsuccessfully, to give comfort to Amy.  The poor distraught mother can not stop crying.  Thankfully her sister Emily who lives in the next town will be there shortly.  Maybe she will have better luck.  As the two men gather their jackets Cooper asks, almost as an afterthought, if Amy would like to meet the two boys who were the first at the crash site.  They are the ones who had alerted the authorities.  If not for them, who knows how long it would have been before the accident was discovered?  Amy consents with a nod.   

At the sight of the lads entering her house Amy miraculously composes herself.  At first the three of them make small talk, remarkable under the circumstances.  Then Amy asks Nick and Eddie to describe how they came upon the scene of the accident and what they saw.  Sheriff Cooper, standing off to the side with the chaplain, pays little attention.  It is all information he has already heard.  But then Amy asks the one question that until then had not been asked: "Did my husband say anything to you before he passed?"

The sheriff, realizing his omission, listens intently.  Nick and Eddie look at each other.  The one heretofore undisclosed nugget of information they share seems trivial, nearly incoherent.  For a fleeting second they mutually consider telling Amy that the pilot died peacefully without speaking.  But just as quickly, through eye contact, they decide it's best to reveal what they heard, even if nonsensical.

Nick provides the answer.  "He said... he said, 'Tell her the cow jumped over the moon.' "

A transformation comes over Amy.  Her eyes swell with tears again and she comes close to gasping.  The boys think she is going to faint.  But wait!  Within seconds they realize that the tears she sheds are tears of joy.  In fact, she is now smiling.  The sheriff and the chaplain come closer, but they are just as bewildered as Nick and Eddie.

Amy puts a hand up as if to say "Give me a moment."  She gathers herself, and then she explains.

"Pete and I loved each other very much, but that doesn't mean we did not have our share of disagreements during the five years we were married.  We soon realized after most verbal spats that what we argued about was relatively insignificant.  But we were both kind of stubborn, each wanting to get in the last word.  On our first wedding anniversary we made a pact.  Rather than insisting on getting the last word, one of us would offer a truce by reciting the first part of a nursery rhyme.  If I said, "Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall," and Pete replied, "Humpty Dumpty had a great fall," that would signal the end of the quarrel.  No winners or losers.  We'd never finished the day angry with each other, so I guess we were both winners.

"Early this morning before Pete left our house we had a bitter argument, the first one we'd had in a very long time.  He stormed out without even saying good bye.  I have felt miserable about it all day, even before Sheriff Cooper and Reverend Monroe came to my door.  Then when they told me Pete was dead, all I could think about was our quarrel and how I wished we could have a chance to make up.  But with the news of Pete's last words, Nick and Eddie, my sorrow is not nearly as deep as it otherwise would have been.  Thank you for letting me know what he said.  I shall be eternally grateful to you.  The dish ran away with the spoon."

*** ***

When I was a kid, possibly in grade school, there was an episode on a television show which told the foregoing story.  Obviously that story has stuck with me and has remained a favorite of mine over many decades.  I have attempted to reconstruct the story to match my memory, but for much of it I had to guess.  For example, I am not sure if there was one boy or two.  I certainly don't remember the characters' names or exactly where they lived.  All I can say for sure is that at least one boy found the pilot of a crashed plane, and just before he died he asked the boy to "tell her" that six word verse he recited.  When the boy (or boys) later speaks to the widow, he grants the pilot's request and the widow is overjoyed at the message.  She then explains their nursery rhyme agreement.

I am sorry to report that my crack three-person research team has been unable to track down the origin of that story, despite a valiant effort.  I would be happy to give credit to the author, but have been unable to ascertain even what program the story appeared on.  If anyone reading this finds out, please let me know.     

The Three Wives Of Ben Cartwright, Part II: Marie

Marie, My Love:  In the middle of Bonanza's fourth season the circle is completed with the story of Marie (Felicia Farr), the mother of Little Joe.  Of the three episodes devoted to Ben Cartwright's wives, this last one has the most potential for greatness and intrigue, and is arguably the most interesting.  But it doesn't quite fulfill that potential, mainly, I suspect, due to the confines imposed by its sixty minute time slot.  Still, the intricacies of the story line provide evidence of how Bonanza separated itself from the typical TV western.

This tale opens in New Orleans, roughly fifty years following the Louisiana Purchase.  The French atmosphere still pervades the city's culture.  Ben has arrived there by ship from the Ponderosa on a twofold mission.  He is hoping to connect with a merchant, Monsieur Clermont, to facilitate the sale of "raw furs" he's brought from Nevada.  More importantly, Ben is in the Crescent City to fulfill a promise made to a Ponderosa employee, Jean de Marigny, right before the young man died.  Jean, a former New Orleans resident, asked Ben to visit three people there: Marius Angerville, a family friend and fencing instructor; Jean's mother Madame de Marigny; and Jean's wife Marie de Marigny, nee del Valle.  Ben's encounters with all three are offbeat.

He first calls on Marius, a man in his seventies who owns a fencing academy.  He may have lost a step but he still practices his art and enjoys his red wine.  Marius tells Ben he looked upon Jean as his own son.  When Ben mentions Jean's mother, Marius does not try to hide his distaste for the woman.  Ben's meeting with the mother is very odd.  She doesn't seem saddened by news of her son's death.  She says he "ran from his disgrace" but offers no explanation.  She also does not wish to discuss her daughter-in-law who she says "was never meant to be the wife of a de Marigny."  When Ben tells Madame he is staying at Marius' residence, she states Marius was no friend of her son's.  Clearly Madame is not easy to please, and holds a negative opinion of her son and those close to him.

Ben's does not fare much better in his first attempt to speak to the widowed Marie.  Marius takes Ben to a fancy gambling parlor, quickly introduces Ben to Marie and just as quickly heads to the bar where he and the proprietor, D'Arcy, trade insults. When Ben asks Marie if they could move to a quieter spot so he could deliver news of her husband Jean, Marie surprises Ben by insisting she has no desire to hear it.  As he is leaving, Ben is approached by D'Arcy who observes that Ben "lacks a certain polish." Ben's quick reply is that his polish "is dulled by hard work."  Touche!

Later, Ben learns from Marius that right after Jean's marriage to Marie, he left her because he believed rumors that she was unfaithful.  Marie's pleas of innocence could not sway Jean to trust his wife.  Marius unsuccessfully attempted to talk Jean out of leaving.  Marius tells Ben, "Marie was the innocent victim of deceit."

On the following day Ben makes a second attempt to talk to Marie, this time at her residence.  She is about to shut the door in his face when he delivers the news that Jean is dead.  Ben tells Marie Jean saved his life.  Ben offers no details except to say that as Jean lay dying he asked Ben to convey to Marie that he loved her.  Marie says her husband didn't know what it means to love, but Ben points out that "a man on his deathbed doesn't lie."  When Ben states that Jean wanted her to know he forgave her, Marie goes on a rant.  Jean could not have loved her and believed the lies he heard.  "Instead of trusting me he ran off, leaving me humiliated and disgraced."  Before she sends Ben away she reveals more sad news.  She and Jean had a baby who was taken away at birth by Jean's mother, Madame.  The baby later died of a fever.  Ben indicates that Jean never spoke of fathering a child.

Ben remains in the city to conduct his fur sale.  He runs into Marie as she is leaving Marius' fencing studio.  Marie apologizes to Ben for her previous inhospitality.  In the doorway they make small talk, including Ben's admiration of New Orleans.  He invites Marie to dinner but she declines and leaves.  Marius bluntly suggests to Ben that because Jean saved Ben's life, Ben owes it to Marie to clear her reputation by finding out the truth regarding the alleged "other man."  Ben retorts that it isn't his concern, but Marius has planted the seed.

Dark secrets are revealed in a short scene between the two villains, Madame and D'Arcy.  We find out Marius' suspicions regarding D'Arcy's involvement in Marie's alleged affair are correct.  The sketchy details are fleshed out later, but it appears D'Arcy paid a man to assist in the defamation of Marie. That man is now in Haiti.  Even more dastardly, the child Madame took from Marie is not dead, contrary to what Madame told Marie.  Madame is now worried that if Ben sticks around New Orleans long enough, he may find out the truth.  She instructs D'Arcy to make sure that doesn't happen.  Murder is not out of the question.

We know from the episode's prelude that Marie becomes Little Joe's mother.  But so far, the story only has Ben and Marie conversing very briefly, hardly an indication that a chemistry might develop.  This shortcoming is remedied by another short scene in which Ben, while strolling through the city streets to take in the sights before he returns home to Nevada, serendipitously spots Marie praying in the courtyard of a convent. She permits Ben to join her and the two exchange their life stories.  They have both experienced ill-fated marriages.  Marie philosophizes, "To love is to place one's happiness in someone else's hands."  She relates to Ben the true story of how she was duped by an unknown man who was setting her up for accusations of adultery.  Ben believes her and says, "Something should have been done about that lie a long time ago."

Ben returns to D'Arcy's gambling parlor where he expects to find Monsieur Clermont to discuss the final details of their fur business arrangements.  Clermont insists on first finishing his poker game and invites Ben to join.  Soon D'Arcy also sits in.  By this time there are stacks of currency on the table.  Unbeknownst to Ben, D'Arcy is able to manipulate the deck.  He accuses Ben of cheating.  Ben, an accomplished pugilist, knocks D'Arcy to the floor, whereupon the indignant D'Arcy challenges Ben to a sword duel at dawn.  (By French custom, the alleged aggrieved party is entitled to choose the type of weapons.)  Marius warns Ben that D'Arcy is a professional duelist; he has already killed four opponents and wounded Marius in a duel long ago.  Ben will have no chance against D'Arcy.  Marius insists on taking Ben's place, not only to save him from what will be sure death, but to restore the honor of Marie.  Of course Ben rejects Marius' offer; he will fight his own fight.  Just then Marie walks in.  She reveals to Ben that her concern "is not just for Marius."

Spoiler Alert:  Early the next morning Ben and Marie are stunned to learn that Marius has already left his residence to face D'Arcy in a duel at the edge of town.  In the prime years of Marius the duel might have been a fair fight, but not now; Marius is an old man while D'Arcy is a master swordsman.  Ben and Marie pull up in a wagon at the field just in time to see Marius mortally wounded by the heartless D'Arcy.  As Marius lies dying in Marie's arms, Ben confronts D'Arcy and calls him "a cowardly disgrace without honor."  Enraged D'Arcy slaps Ben across the face.  Big mistake!  Ben claims that D'Arcy's act "supercedes" Ben's knockout blow from the day before, so now Ben has the right to choose weapons for the unavoidable duel.  He selects pistols and D'Arcy accepts the challenge.

This does not end like the historic Alexander Hamilton-Aaron Burr duel.  Ben and D'Arcy start with their backs to each other, then step ten paces in opposite directions to the count of the civilian referee.  As they turn toward each other at a distance of twenty paces, D'Arcy fires, striking Ben in the right shoulder.  Ben, an expert marksman, could kill D'Arcy right then and there, as would be his right under established dueling rules.  Instead, he intentionally fires his gun into the air, then proceeds to beat D'Arcy to a pulp, refusing to stop until D'Arcy confesses to arranging the whole scandal involving the innocent Marie.  He further admits doing so at the request of Madame.  Marius then passes away, satisfied that he died with honor and that the truth regarding Marie has been uncovered.

Marie is relieved, but saddened at the same time.  Looking at the body of Marius and probably also remembering her husband and child, she laments that death follows her.  Ben talks her out of this mood, mostly by telling her about the West, a topic he had covered before when they conversed in the convent's garden.  When Ben suggests she could make a new life with him on the Ponderosa, she questions if Ben isn't occupied enough raising his two sons, Adam and Eric.  Ben's response: "Until I came here I thought my life was quite full.  My sons were all I needed.  But now I know, without you it could never be complete.  Come back with me.  Be my wife."

FINAL NOTES:

Before I close out my two-part post on Bonanza, there are a few things I must include to make the picture complete.  Much of what follows could fall into the "spoiler category," so you are hereby warned.

*  Each of the three episodes I've described is told in the form of a flashback.  In the story of Elizabeth, an adult Adam lies sick in bed at the Ponderosa.  The doctor tells Ben it will be touch and go during the night.  Adam may not pull through.  While Ben sits bedside, he looks at a picture of Adam's mother and his thoughts turn to her.

The story of Inger begins while Ben is waiting for Hoss to return home.  The family cook, Hop Sing, has baked a birthday cake for Hoss.  While Ben waits he recalls how he first met the gentle giant's mother in Illinois.

The cleverest introduction takes place in Marie's story.  The pre-credits scene has Ben working at a table in front of the Ponderosa house.  As Little Joe gallops into the  front yard his horse, Cochise, stumbles and Joe crashes to the ground.  An alarmed Ben rushes to his injured son and manages to get him into bed.  He speaks to Joe, even though realizing Joe is only semi-conscious.  "When I saw you fall, Joe, for a moment it was just like your mother... the same way that afternoon, she came right up to the house."  The story immediately goes to flashback.  Ben is walking across a New Orleans street when he is almost run over by a very pretty blonde woman on horseback.  The horse momentarily stops, rises on its two hind legs, and continues at a fast clip with its rider still in the saddle.  Although the startled Ben did not know it at the time, that woman was Marie.  But we are puzzled by the scene because there is no house in front of which this all happened.  What was Ben talking about?

We don't get the answer until the episode's end.  We learn that the house to which Ben referred was, in fact, the Ponderosa homestead.  Marie was thrown to the ground by her horse in the exact same spot where Joe fell.  Joe was battered and bruised, yet recovered; Marie did not.

*  After watching the stories of Elizabeth (Season 2, Episode 33) and Marie (Season 4, Episode 20), Bonanza fans knew what happened in the final hours of Ben's first and third wives.  But what happened to Inger?  The final scene of her story (Season 3, Episode 29) shows her heading west in a small wagon with her new husband, Ben, and five year old Adam.  She was very much alive.  Was Ben a bigamist when he married Marie?  Hardly.  This is Ben Cartwright we're talking about, a man of unquestioned principles.

We are kept in suspense until Season 5, Episode 8, when the story called Journey Remembered closes the book on Inger.  The episode is worthy of a full-blown discussion, but in the interest of space and time (yours and mine) I will give you a much-abbreviated rendition, what we old timers sometimes refer to as "the Reader’s Digest version."  After leaving Illinois Inger, Ben and Adam join a wagon train to take them to the wild West, the land of promise Ben had been dreaming of for years.  Inger has given birth to Eric, who will later be called Hoss in honor of Inger's brother.  Somewhere on the high plains the wagon train is attacked by Indians, one of whom puts an arrow in poor Inger's back.  The sweet young woman dies in Ben's arms.  Ben is thus widowed with two little boys, still determined to make his way to a new land.

*  One of my favorite Bonanza stories, The First Born, led off its fourth season (Season 4, Episode 1).  Once again, I present the Reader's Digest version.  Remember the child of Jean and Marie de Marigny who was taken away by Madame de Marigny shortly after he was born?  As Marie told Ben, her mother-in-law had informed her that the child died from a fever.  Marie accepted that as the truth to her dying day.

But as is revealed in The First Born, that child, whose name is Clay, did not die.  One day twenty-five (or so) years later, Clay shows up in town and is hired by the Cartwrights to do seasonal work on the ranch.  Clay strikes up a friendship with Little Joe and takes a particular interest in a picture of Joe's mother.  Although Joe doesn't know Clay is his half-brother, they discuss the coincidence that they were both born in New Orleans.

Unfortunately, shortly thereafter Clay kills a miner in self defense and is asked by the sheriff to leave town.  Joe comes to Clay's defense but Ben (who is always right) thinks it would be better and safer for all concerned if Clay adhered to the sheriff's request.  As Clay is gathering his things to head out, he reveals to Joe that the reason he wanted to see Joe's picture is that the woman is his mother too.  Obviously this drastically changes the dynamics and direction of how the story proceeds.  The denouement is compelling as is the fine acting by regular cast member Michael Landon as Little Joe, and Barry Coe who plays Clay.  This episode is one of the most memorable of any I've watched on television, whether western or otherwise.  Kudos to the script writers of The First Born, Judy and George W. George.  [A nit: The picture which Joe keeps in his locket does not at all resemble Felicia Farr, the actress who played Marie.]  [I also tip my cap to Anthony Lawrence who wrote Elizabeth, My Love, Inger, My Love, Journey Remembered, and (with co-writer Anne Howard Bailey) Marie, My Love.]

*  Finally, an oddity.  As noted above, Marie, My Love and The First Born were both included in Season 4.  Would it not have made more sense to show Marie, My Love before The First Born?  Instead, it aired nineteen weeks later.  Along the same lines, it would have been preferable to show Journey Remembered before Marie, My Love, but the former was not presented until Season 5. As a linear guy, I like to see "chapters" chronologically, but the strange order of presentment did not detract from my fondness for Bonanza.  It was a made-for-television western series, not an attempt to become the equal of a John Ford epic.

The Three Wives Of Ben Cartwright, Part I: Elizabeth & Inger

I most recently posted about my favorite baseball game of all time, the famous Game 163 of 2009 between the Detroit Tigers and the Minnesota Twins.  Since I'm on a "favorites" theme I'm going to keep the ball rolling with a little something about my favorite television western of all time, Bonanza.  Bonanza was beloved by a lot of folks as evidenced by its fourteen season run on NBC, beginning in 1959.  (The only TV western to survive more seasons was Gunsmoke, which enjoyed twenty years on the tube.)  The first thing I remember about Bonanza was my family eagerly awaiting each episode's prelude when NBC proudly announced that the program would be presented "in living color."  Then a symbol of the network's peacock would fan out its tail across the screen, with each section of the tail shown in a different color.  We would practically gasp in amazement.  Imagine a program being shown on our living room TV set in color, just like being at the movies!  Back in 1959 almost all other television programming was in black and white.

The other obvious aspect of Bonanza which set it apart is that almost all the other westerns, including Gunsmoke, ran thirty minutes, not the hour long run times of the Bonanza episodes.  This afforded the writers the opportunity to develop both the characters and the plot lines with more intricacy.

Bonanza is the story of the Cartwright family who owns thousands of acres of gorgeous wilderness near Lake Tahoe in far western Nevada.  Their humongous homestead is named the Ponderosa.  The family's abundance of wealth derives from ranching, mining and some farming.  They are well respected by the townsfolk of nearby Virginia City.  Ben Cartwright, played by Canadian actor Lorne Greene, is the patriarch who never loses a fist fight and seldom makes a mistake.  He is the voice of reason and the sounding board to arbitrate all kinds of disputes, including familial ones from time to time.  Ben is the epitome of Father Knows Best. 

Ben has three adult sons who all live with him at the Ponderosa.  "The boys," as they are often called, are as different as can be, except for the fact that they are all honorable people with reputations above reproach.  The oldest, Adam, is most like his father: reserved, cerebral, and straight forward.  The middle son's name is Eric, but he's hardly ever addressed as such.  No, the big guy goes by Hoss.  He is the prototypical friendly giant who, like his father, never loses a fight.  His brand of humor is more obvious than Adam's. Then there’s Little Joe who brings life and excitement to the Ponderosa.  He is the most adventurous brother, willing to take more chances than what prudence might call for.  He is no longer a teenager, but sometimes Ben needs to keep a sharper eye out for Joe than he does for his other sons.

The boys are perfectly cast as is their "Pa." Starting with the oldest son they are played by Pernell Roberts, Dan Blocker and Michael Landon, who was only 22 years old when the series began. It's interesting to note that in real life Greene, at age 44 when the series began, was not much older than "sons" Roberts 31 and Blocker 30.  As was customary in this early age of network television, the first season included 32 episodes.  The producers seemed to attempt to balance the distribution of Cartwright protagonists more or less evenly throughout the year.  In fact during the famous opening credits showing the four Cartwrights galloping up on horseback from a distance toward the camera, the individual closeups of the stars don't always appear in the same order from week to week.  It's quite possible that Ben and Little Joe eventually received more face time than Adam and Hoss, but by the time the first season ended millions of fans felt a strong familiarity with all four of them.

Still, two questions burned in our collective minds.  First, isn't it rather odd that three adult sons, all bachelors, live with their father and are almost always willing to do what he says without resistance?  That mystery is never resolved.  If you're a fan of the show, you have to be willing to accept that arrangement on its face.  Secondly, how was it that these three sons, who bore absolutely no resemblance either to their father or to each other, had three different mothers?  All we knew was that Ben was a widower by the time the epic begins.  But what a back story he must have had!

It isn't until the penultimate episode of the 34 episode second season that our curiosity is partially satisfied. 

Elizabeth, My Love:  This is the episode in which we find out about Ben's first wife, Elizabeth, who is played by Geraldine Brooks.  The actress portrays Elizabeth as a strong young woman with an assuredness about her even as she faces distress over the challenges presented by her stubborn father.  Many of the several memorable lines in the story are delivered by Brooks' character.   

Young Ben is first mate on a New England clipper ship, the Wanderer, under the command of Captain Stoddard (Torin Thatcher), a forty year veteran of the seas.  Ben and Elizabeth, the captain's daughter, are attracted to each other, but things get tense when Captain Stoddard is told by the ship's owner he's being relieved of his duties.  When Stoddard finds out the company has pegged Ben as his replacement, he accuses Ben of betrayal.  We Bonanza fans know better -- Ben Cartwright is as honest as the day is long -- and thankfully so does Elizabeth when Ben tells her he knew nothing of the company's plans.

There is a brief "boy loses girl moment," as every love story must have, when Ben believes Elizabeth is jeopardizing their relationship by putting her father first.  He gently advises Liz, "You can't live your life for someone else."  Liz reminds Ben that the "someone else" is her father, saying, "I'm not going to beg you to understand me."  By the next morning the dustup is long forgotten.  Ben announces that he is done with his naval career.  His dream is to go west.  For that he'll need money which he plans to raise by opening a ship chandler's store, hopefully with the captain as his business partner.  But Stoddard isn't ready to give up sailing, the only life he's ever known.  Following an emotional tete-a-tete Elizabeth finally talks him into accepting Ben's offer.

After a lapse of off-camera time (i.e., a commercial break), Ben and Liz are husband and wife with a child on the way.  There is a sub plot, a weak link in the otherwise plausible story, about how a competing shop owner named Mandible tries to swindle his way into ownership of Ben and Stoddard's store.  The stress this places on the pregnant Elizabeth is unfortunate.  After Ben punches out Mandible's goon, rightful ownership of the store is restored.

Spoiler Alert:  I'm not sure I actually need a spoiler alert here, because by the time this episode aired late in the second season, it was well established that Ben had been married three times and that none of his exes are around.  Still, if you'd prefer not to know how this episode shakes out, stop here.

Before Ben's showdown with Mandible, he reads to his wife whose doctor has ordered bed rest.  She tells Ben she is certain their baby will be a boy, and she wants to name him Adam.  Immediately after the Mandible fisticuffs, word gets to Ben that the baby's arrival is imminent.  Indeed, it is a boy.  The baby is healthy but Liz is noticeably weaker.  She asks Ben to play the music box he'd brought her from Amsterdam.  She might realize she's not going to survive when she makes Ben promise, "No matter what happens, you'll go after your dreams."  She expires before the music box has finished its song.

The final scene is a farewell many days later.  Ben has employed an elderly nanny to care for Adam as the three of them are to head west in a wagon.  Captain Stoddard, now the sole owner of the store, gives sage advice to Ben regarding the deceased Elizabeth.  "Don't brood, son.  Keep a warm spot in your heart for her. [But] don't carry her on your shoulder for the rest of your life.  She wouldn't want that." 

Inger, My Love:  We waited two full seasons to find out the story of Adam's mother, Elizabeth.  We had to wait until the end of the third season for the story of Hoss' mother, Inger, who is played by Inga Swenson.

Ben rides his wagon into a small town in Illinois.  He looks worn out and grubby.  Adam is now five.  It has taken them four years to travel from New England to the midwest.  Ben needs to find work in order to finance his dream of traveling to the west where he plans to settle.  He walks into a bar called the Illinois House to inquire about employment in the area, only to learn jobs are hard to come by.  There are several men gathered around a table playing cards, drinking and singing.  One of the younger men, Gunnar (Jeremy Slate), hurls insults at Ben, calling him a shiftless drifter.  Ben decks the guy with an efficiency so impressive that he's offered a job by the bar's owner, McWhorter.  Both Gunnar and McWhorter will play prominent roles in this episode.

Ben walks across the street to buy bread and milk at Borgstrom's Emporium, a general store where he meets the effervescent, extremely friendly Inger.  She is a tall young red head with a thick Scandanavian accent.  She is also Gunnar's older sister; they co-own the store.  When little Adam walks in a minute later and tells Ben he feels sick, Inger offers a stew of salt pork and onions, an old Swedish remedy.  She refuses payment for this "medicine," telling Ben she loves little kids.  Her kindness continues, checking in on Adam throughout the week at the boarding house while his father performs odd jobs for McWhorter.  Ben uncharacteristically seems curt and sometimes even verbally rude to the well-meaning Inger.  Apparently he feels her concern for his son is an indictment of his lack of attention to Adam.  Inga brushes it off, even going so far as to invite Ben and Adam to her house for dinner.  She is another strong Bonanza woman.

We find out that McWhorter hopes to marry Inger but she keeps putting him off.  At first we don't suspect there's anything sinister about McWhorter.  He seems like an okay guy.  It is Gunnar about whom we're worried for Ben's sake.  From time to time Gunnar takes money from the general store's till, telling Inger that, as co-owner, he's entitled to it.  But Inger is doing all the work while Gunnar wastes his time in the bar.  Gunnar considers store ownership beneath his talents.  What he really wants is to go to the Canadian gold mines where he's sure he will strike it rich.  But in order to travel there he needs money.  He wants to sell the store to McWhorter to finance his expedition, but he can't talk Inger into selling.  His drinking buddies ridicule him. “If you were a real man you’d sell the store whether or not you get Inger’s approval.”  After all, even though their deceased father’s intention was that his two adult children should be equal owners, only Gunnar’s name appears on the legal documents. 

Ben's attitude toward Inger softens.  When he was at her house for dinner he regaled her with his life’s story and his dreams of heading west.  She was enthralled, but the mood was dampened by the sour disposition of Gunnar, who was also present.  Ben and Inger spend more time together, even going on a picnic along the banks of a river.  They don't kiss, yet, but Ben is sweet talking his way toward the next step.  Suddenly Gunnar appears, insisting that Inger return to town so she can go riding with McWhorter.  She tells her brother she had no date with McWhorter, and that Gunnar should stop treating her as if he were her father instead of her brother.

It doesn't take Gunnar long to surprise McWhorter with the news that Inger and Ben are spending a lot of time together.  McWhorter abruptly fires Ben, who was in the bar working, calling him a shiftless drifter, the same term used by Gunnar during Ben's introduction to Illinois House hospitality.  Ben decides he's overstayed his welcome, what little of it there was to be found, and decides to leave town.  Inger tells Ben she is not planning to marry McWhorter, and even offers Ben a job in the general store.  She does not want Ben to leave.  Ben declines saying, "I don't need any woman's help."  His surly mood has returned.  Inger stands up to him with a bold retort: "Ben Cartwright, you left your manhood behind with your dead wife!"  It is this episode’s first boy loses girl moment. 

Inger cries as she abruptly leaves the boarding house.  With perfect timing, Adam walks in and asks his father why Inger was crying.  Ben claims he doesn't know.  Adam, the lad who never knew his mother, sadly says he likes Inger.  The light bulb goes off; Ben has a change of heart.

Spoiler Alert:  Ben rushes out to catch up with Inger in the middle of the street.  He tells her he will accept her offer to work in the general store.  Overcome by the moment he bumbles an attempt to propose, but before his utterance becomes coherent, Inger says she will marry him.  Now, finally, they kiss.  McWhorter sees this exchange from a distance.  The wheels of evil begin to churn. 

McWhorter knows Inger’s name is missing from the store’s title documents.  He talks Gunnar into selling the store to him.  Ben enters the bar moments later to pass on to Gunnar Inger's invitation to dinner.  Ben is shocked to learn what just transpired.  Gunnar takes a poke at him, apparently forgetting that Ben Cartwright never loses a fight.  Ben delivers one knockout blow. As Gunnar is decked out on the floor, McWhorter talks Ben into leaving, assuring Ben he will take care of Gunnar.

The next scene, at Inger's house, turns from bliss to bedlam in a hurry.  Inger is surprisingly glad Gunnar sold the store; she is now free to travel west with Ben.  The happy couple await the arrival of Gunnar for dinner.  Instead, a doctor and some townsmen drag the near-comatose Gunnar into the house and put him in bed.  He has horrible bruises which the men claim were administered by Ben.  Gunnar might not pull through.  Inger is distraught.  Could her future husband have done this to her brother?  Ben pleads innocence but she tells him to leave -- the second boy loses girl moment.

Ben confronts McWhorter in the Illinois House but the ensuing slugfest changes nothing.  McWhorter won't budge from his lie that he did not harm Gunnar.  Frustrated, Ben goes back to Inger's house to take one more stab at convincing Inger he did nothing more than hit Gunnar once.  "Either you love me with all your heart or there's no love at all."  Inger laments, "What shall I do?  What shall I do?"  Magically, Gunnar awakens and tells Inger Ben "did not do this to me."  It had to be McWhorter.

Just as in the story of Elizabeth, we have a final farewell scene.  Ben, Inger and Adam are in Ben's wagon, about to begin their long trek to the west.  Gunnar is there to say goodbye.  He hopes the engaged couple will name a son after him.  "My friends once called me Hoss which means a good man with friendly ways."  Prophetic. 

Maybe They Should Call It "53 Minutes"

I miss Andy Rooney's end-of-show verbal essays on 60 Minutes every Sunday evening, and I've got to believe CBS misses him too. The weekly show topped television ratings for many years, as it usually featured three stories per week on interesting personalities and issues of the day. The skilled interviewers, such as Ed Bradley and the late Mike Wallace, always managed to ask the question or two that the American public wanted asked. Many times I would be surprised, first, that the interviewee agreed to go on camera at all, and secondly, when the interviewer asked that one embarrassing question, that the interviewee didn't just end the interview right then and there.

No matter how hard hitting and serious the three main segments of each 60 Minutes show happened to be, there was always Andy Rooney's three minutes of commentary to furnish more food for thought right at the end. Rooney looked the part of a curmudgeon, but at the same time could come across with a wink as a kindly old grandfather. Sometimes, even if I wasn't interested in any of the three main segments of the program, I would tune in at 6:55 just to hear what Andy had to say. Anything and everything was fair game: old books remaining unread for years on his bookshelf; product labels which were either indecipherable or misleading; gift certificates for stores at which he would never shop; various collections in his possession, such as paperweights or clocks; modern music which, to him, simply couldn't compare to the American standards. Sometimes he would chime in with clever commentary on mundane things that we might never think twice about, such as talking in an elevator or hailing a cab in the city.

After delivering 1097 of his verbal essays for 60 Minutes, Rooney bid adios to his viewers on October 2, 2011. Thirty-three days later he died.

I have continued to watch 60 Minutes this year, and their main stories, for the most part, are still top notch. But the program clearly misses the cherry on the top - - or should I say, at the end - - of its telecast, viz., Andy Rooney. About three or four weeks ago I noticed that after their third main segment ended, the remainder of the hour was filled with promos and commercials. They never put anything substantive on the air to fill the void between that third segment and the sign-off at the top of the hour. In other words, they have not found a way to replace Andy Rooney. My earlier observations have been confirmed by watching the subsequent shows on April 29 and again on May 6. Here is what CBS expected its 60 Minutes viewers to watch last Sunday night after the last of the three segment's ended at 6:53 p.m.:

* A CBS sports update
* A commercial for Ford Focus
* A commercial for Discover Card
* A commercial for Lowes
* A CBS promo for Amazing Race
* A CBS promo for Person Of Interest
* A CBS promo for NYC 22
* A commercial for Menards
* A commercial for the film The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel
* A CBS promo for the local (Channel 4) news
* A CBS promo (with Scott Pelley) for next week's 60 Minutes
* A commercial for Listerine
* A commercial for the US Postal service
* A commercial for V 8 Fusion Energy Drink
* A CBS promo for Survivor
* A CBS promo for The Big Bang Theory
* Closing credits for 60 Minutes
* A CBS promo for the 60 Minutes I-phone app

I, for one, have decided not to watch this barrage of filler any longer. Once the third main segment ends, I am turning off the tube. Maybe ol' Andy is irreplaceable, but if that's the best that CBS can come up with to absorb the final seven of the allotted sixty minutes, count me out.