The
 thought of attempting to obtain a copy of Serafino's birth certificate 
never crossed my mind until last December when I wrote to my cousin 
Louie's widow, Carole, to ask if she had any touristy recommendations 
for Calabria, the "toe" of Italy's "boot."  I knew she and Louie had 
once belonged to the Calabrian Club in Chicago, and went with that group
 to southern Italy at least twice.  Carole replied that on one of their 
trips Louie tried unsuccessfully to obtain the birth certificate of our 
grandfather.  She apprised me of Serafino's birthday, 
August 28, 1878, and his place of birth, Cosenza, a city of about 70,000
 people located in north central Calabria.  I should note here that Louie was the oldest of Serafino's nineteen grandchildren -- I was the eighth -- so I felt confident that the information he'd passed on to Carole was accurate.
 
Fodor's
 travel guide describes Calabria as "poor" and the "least trodden of 
[Italy's] regions."  Maybe so, but the lack of tourism is one of the 
factors that appealed to our party of four: traveling buddies 
Admiral Bob and Madame Cipolle, Momma Cuandito and me.  Our theory was 
that there could be an inverse correlation between tourism and 
authenticity; this was an opportunity to experience the real Italy.  
Rather than head directly from the Amalfi Coast to Sicily, where we 
would spend the majority of our sixteen day vacation, we decided to make
 Cosenza a one night layover.
 
The first clue 
that we were in a city not accustomed to hosting tourists was that the 
receptionist at our hotel, the Royal, did not speak English.  It was 
quite entertaining to watch Madame, fluent in French, converse with the 
friendly lady behind the desk.  Facial expressions and gesticulations 
came in handy -- no pun intended -- and enough was gleaned from the 
combination of French and Italian to figure out where to park our rental
 car and how to find the nearby pedestrian mall.
 
The
 open air mall extended for over half a mile, with stores on each side. 
 A grooved rubber track about eight inches wide ran along each edge, 
presumably to use if the pavement became slippery.  Detailed 
sculptures, some resembling mythological characters, others too bizarre 
to label, decorated each block. The two most notable
 establishments on the walkway were the Bulldog Bar, the 
mall's only tavern, and Magazzini Rossella.  Who would have guessed that
 my mother-in-law owned a business here in Cosenza?
 
We arrived around 
5:00 at the end of the mall, where we noticed what appeared to be a 
government building of some sort across the street.  The three story structure was at the back end of an unadorned pavement plaza.  The windows on the top two floors were narrow slits.  The flags of Italy, the European Union and Calabria flew above the recessed front doors.  The 
employees were gone for the day and the building was locked, but we 
determined this would be our starting point the next morning.
***
After breakfast we made the fifteen minute walk to the government building. Inside we encountered a small group of office workers. Once again language differences presented a temporary inconvenience. We learned that birth records were not kept in that building. We would have to try our luck at a different place, about four or five blocks away. Rather than just point us in the right direction, one of the workers accompanied us to the second destination, crossing a couple of busy streets to do so. Naturally this was way beyond the call of duty, but we got the sense that he was disappointed he could not better assist us.
 
***
After breakfast we made the fifteen minute walk to the government building. Inside we encountered a small group of office workers. Once again language differences presented a temporary inconvenience. We learned that birth records were not kept in that building. We would have to try our luck at a different place, about four or five blocks away. Rather than just point us in the right direction, one of the workers accompanied us to the second destination, crossing a couple of busy streets to do so. Naturally this was way beyond the call of duty, but we got the sense that he was disappointed he could not better assist us.
The second building, metallic with green trim, was an even more 
non-descript edifice than the first.  I did not see any identifying 
signage on the exterior.  If not for our helpful new friend who escorted
 us from the first office building, we may never have landed at the 
second.  We climbed a staircase to the second floor to find a stale 
working environment which looked like it hadn't been changed since the 
day it was opened for business decades ago.  Institutional green and 
beige were the predominant colors.  The office was supposedly the 
repository for official records of all kinds, such as birth, marriage 
and death certificates.  After a short wait, a male clerk took the card 
on which I'd written my grandfather's name and birthday, looked at it 
carefully and disappeared into a back file room.  He did not seem phased
 at all by my request for a certificate from the nineteenth century, 
giving no hint of the prospective impossibility of the task. This is 
going to be easy, I thought to myself.  My optimism was short-lived.
The
 clerk returned empty handed, but just as was the case in the first 
building, another employee came by and suggested yet another, third 
government archival office where we might find what we sought.  He took 
us out on the balcony and pointed to an old church on a hill almost a 
kilometer away.  It was there, he declared, where the city's oldest, and
 therefore least requested, records were kept.
At
 that point we'd been at it for well over an hour with nothing tangible 
to show for it.  I wasn't even sure what I would do with my 
grandfather's birth certificate had one been produced.  I also kept 
reminding myself that my cousin had already tried (and failed) to 
accomplish what we hoped to attain.  Therefore, I offered to call off 
the search at that point, before walking to and hiking up the distant 
hill, possibly to no avail.  My three companions would not accept my 
offer, reasoning that we'd gone this far in our search; we'd probably 
never return to Cosenza again, so now was the time.  Besides, this was an adventure!
We
 did not start out on the right foot, or should I say the correct 
route.  We ended up at a dead end, blocked by a fenced-in set of 
railroad tracks.  How do we go from there to the hillside church?  Once
 again Madame, the linguist, obtained directions from one of the locals 
who happened to be passing by.  We would have to do an "end around," 
first backtracking a little, then crossing a bridge over the tracks and 
the scenic Crati River, then ascending the hill on which the old church 
was perched.
After guessing incorrectly once or
 twice on which of the church doors to enter, our tired but intrepid 
quartet gained admission.  The final and most humorous part of our 
morning was about to begin.
Let me preface this
 "chapter" by stating that, up until then, the highest degree of 
security to which I'd ever been subjected were the two or three times my
 job required me to enter the Wells Fargo Operations Center, located in 
an unmarked building on the corner of 4th Street & Second Avenue in 
downtown Minneapolis.  If you did not know the name of your great 
uncle's pet goldfish, and answers to questions of similar ilk, you'd be 
denied access.  It turned out Wells had nothing on the Cosenza 
archivists.
Immediately inside the church 
door we were welcomed by cautionary signs, ropes and small barricades.  
Behind a glass wall to our left were four women whose main job appeared 
to be scrutinizing aspiring entrants and, if said newcomers passed 
muster, granting admission to the second floor records storage area.  
Each of us had to present identification and submit to inquiries such as
 place of birth, home address, occupation, and relationship to the 
person whose records we sought.  One of the women actually transcribed 
some of the information from our drivers' licenses onto a pad of paper. 
 No word if she filed that paper under "A" for Americano, "V" for 
visitatore (visitor), or some other category.  The whole procedure 
reminded me of an incident I'd read about in David Greene's non-fiction 
story Midnight In Siberia, where he described the triplicate 
forms required to be completed by customers dropping off and picking up 
their laundry at the dry cleaners.  I learned then that the Russians, 
and now learned that the Italians, absolutely love their paper trails.
Two
 or three of the women came out from behind the glass walled office.  
Thankfully one of them, whose name I recall was Maria, spoke very good 
English, thereby advancing the whole process as expeditiously as their 
rules would allow.  She was adept at the art of small talk, so our 
fifteen minute wait for her co-workers to do their thing -- whatever 
that was -- did not seem such a grind.  In fact, it was rather 
pleasant.  Maria asked me if I knew my grandfather's name was a 
reference to angels, the seraphim.  Sure, I'd heard of seraphim, but had
 never connected the dots.
As I related 
above, Cosenza is not exactly a tourist mecca, so having four Americans 
at their office doorstep may have been a rarity for the employees, or at
 least something to tell their families about when they went home that 
evening.   Finally, they issued each of us keys, engraved with a number 
which no doubt matched a number somewhere in a row or a column on one of
 their office forms.  We inferred an important message: Woe to the 
person who loses his key!  All of us figured the keys would be used to 
open a file drawer or a container similar to what one would find inside a
 safety deposit vault. Wrong!
Maria led us to a
 lift  which creaked upward to the second floor at hospital elevator 
speed.  A twist here, a turn there, and we found ourselves in an 
anteroom occupied by three or four more workers, a different group from those
 on the first floor.  I'm not sure what they were doing to pass the time
 before we showed up, as the people in our foursome were the only 
non-employees there.  We presented the keys we'd been safeguarding which
 we then found out opened little square wooden cabinets for our jackets.  I 
really wasn't going to shed my jacket, but the Italians had gone through
 so much work to issue the keys I did not want to disappoint them by 
leaving my assigned cabinet empty.  However, Momma Cuan had no choice 
but to keep her coat, as her cabinet was at least six feet off the 
ground!
Soon we were escorted into the larger 
back room.  I was impressed by the wood paneling, the glass casings and 
the computer equipment.  This area was appointed like a small research 
library, which in fact it was.  Another handful of researchers were at 
desks. Maria got one or two of them started on looking for Serafino's 
birth record.  I could see them flipping the pages of long thick ledgers
 crammed with handwritten entries.  The workers meticulously combed 
through page after page to no avail.  Naturally, they performed some of 
the investigation on computers.  They found 531 Porcaro birth records, 
but none with a matching correct first name and birthdate.  Maria 
approached with more questions.  Was I sure I had the correct spelling? 
 The correct birth date?  Was Serafino known by any other name?  Was he 
born within the city limits of Cosenza or, instead, in the surrounding 
rural region?  Did I know if he had siblings, or what the names of his 
parents were?  Did I know when he emigrated to the United States?  I was
 not much help.  All I had to go on was the minuscule information which 
Carole had relayed to me.
A few more 
employees joined in the project.  They were absolutely giving it their 
all, working at different stations and eager to try different 
approaches.  They even invited Admiral Bob and me to try our luck at one
 of the computers.  We were all in that back room close to a half hour. 
 Finally we agreed to throw up the white flag.  It certainly was not 
from lack of effort.  In fact, I felt bad for the Italians that they 
felt bad for me!
***
We
 were in Cosenza for only twenty-one hours, yet I have several memories 
that are going to stick with me for awhile.  The crowded church where 
the archbishop presided over a solemn Wednesday evening ceremony to 
bless the holy oils which would be used for the coming liturgical year; 
the Admiral, approaching a pub called J. Joyce Irish Pub, only to 
discover it was closed (I have a funny picture which captures that 
disappointment); shortly thereafter, enjoying a beer while sitting on 
wicker chairs outside the Caffe Telesio, watching the regular old 
timers, including a nattily dressed older gent in a fedora, tell 
animated stories to each other; the nuns who appeared behind the 
cafe after the church ceremony, seeking a ride to their vehicle; the 
superb dinner we enjoyed at a corner table at Calabria Bella Ristorante;
 the cars zooming up and down the old city's narrow alleys on which 
people were walking for lack of a sidewalk; and the nightcaps we drank 
at the Bulldog before heading back to the Royal.  The topper, however, 
was the mission we did not quite accomplish looking for Serafino's birth
 certificate.  I will always remember the Italian civil servants who 
took on the task of aiding our search with the same degree of 
seriousness, vigor and concern as if he had been their own ancestor.
